Gentle 6 will be officially named William JiaLe Gentle
Rob’s reaction, “I never suggested it.”
Charlie’s reaction, “Will! How will I ever remember Will? It is too hard!”
Jack had no reaction. He’s still oblivious to the idea of another brother. Yesterday, we were working on the idea of categorizing people: brothers, cousins, friends, etc. Jack was adamant that he is the sister of the family.
So, where and why did we pick Will? I’d like to share a little about Mike’s and my creativity level.
Rob’s full name came from his two grandfathers’ first names.
Charlie’s full name came from reversing his dad’s full name.
Jack…Well, we were out of family names, and we both liked the name. It wasn’t a sure thing though. His Chinese name meant lucky omen. There are few American names that mean lucky omen. I substituted gift from God for lucky omen found John, Johnathan, and Jack. That seemed to seal the deal. Jack it would be.
So, why Will? Jia Le means happy family. I didn’t really see any American names that meant the same thing. We resorted to reviewing the Social Security Administration list of popular names. Mike suggested Will along with two others. I too liked Will. So, after going public with the name, I felt bad. The other boys have a story to go with their names. This kid’s name just seemed right. Thinking it over, maybe there is a bigger story, and here’s my first attempt at documenting its significance for me.
Wikipedia has this to say about the meaning and origins of William:
Sometimes some things just need to be shared. They BEG to be shared. As much as part of me would like to blend in, not make any waves and go with the flow
Originally posted on their blog on February 2, 2o11…
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5 1/2 years ago, Jon and I made the decision to adopt a little girl from China. We requested a healthy infant thinking we would see her sweet face in about 1 year. If you have been following our story you would know that that one year stretched into 5 long years.
Several years ago, Jon and I started talking about switching to special needs. It never seemed right at the time. Our motive seemed to be to just speed along the process. Special needs seemed like such a scary thing to bring into our home. Each time we looked into it we stepped back and decided to wait it out.
Then, in October of 2009, I saw a picture of a little girl who shared my birthday. God broke my heart over this girl. I knew our family was not capable of taking care of this little one, but God showed me that we could venture out into special needs. I remember sitting on the counter in the kitchen crying over this little one and trying to explain to Jon the depth of my feelings. It was time to make the change. God had worked in our hearts.
We sent in our medical checklist and prepared our hearts. To be honest, I was terrified. Were we doing the right thing? Would I regret switching to special needs when the time came when we would have gotten a referral for a healthy child? These fears would creep up over the next few months.
Then, we got an email. The day that our lives changed. The day we saw our daughter for the first time. We claimed her immediately and prepared to bring her into our lives.
Do I have regrets?
Today would have been the day I would have seen the face of that healthy infant. As I sit and contemplate that fact I know in the depths of my being that I have NO regrets. Lily is a blessing from God that I could have never imagined. She is joy, love, happiness, and the one who holds me and says, “my mama.”
I am her mama.
There are no regrets.
Praise God!
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Liz Grabowski
Liz has been married for 15 years to her best friend. She has two bio sons, one adopted daughter, and a son and daughter waiting in China. Her days are filled by home schooling and loving on her kids. God has been so faithful during their adoptions. They are continually blessed. You can follow their current adoptions on her blog.
One day, my friend approached me with information regarding a possible adoption. She knew someone who was pregnant and expecting biracial twins. The birthmom wasn’t sure what she was going to do regarding parenting vs. adoption, but we gave her our profile to consider.
We didn’t think of it or talk about it very often, because we didn’t think it would really happen, since the Mom didn’t seem confident one way or the other. She had chosen us and yet kept putting off meeting us or with a lawyer. We weren’t sure what to think and tried to keep our emotional distance.
One day out of nowhere, JC and I discussed what we would name the babies. In a 2-minute conversation, we had our names- almost as if they hadn’t come from us. We never discussed names again, or referred to them by name in conversation or prayer. I never told a soul, nor wrote them down in my journal. I tried to put the names out of mind.
When the babies were born, we began to get conflicted messages. Without sharing too much information in cyber-space, we were on an emotional roller-coaster. At one point, I was in tears on the phone with my dear friend, Lisa. Lisa, who had for some reason always been confident that these were our babies, shared with me the source of her confidence.
Months previous, she had a vivid dream that revealed the names of our babies as well as the verse written on the nursery wall. I thought it was interesting and begged her to share the names, and she was strangely resistant. Eventually she gave in and told me the names.
They were the same names.
Sam and Grace.
And the verse on the nursery wall? The very reason we had picked the name Sam:
“For I have prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted my request.”
~1 Samuel 1:27
In 1 Samuel 1, Hannah, a barren woman, begs the Lord for a child and He eventually answers her prayer with a son whom she names Samuel.
Grace- because she is a perfect gift from the Lord- as is His grace.
How could this be? How could Lisa have known the same names we had chosen- without ever whispering it to a soul? It had to be the Lord. As I praised His name, and sought His voice, I felt Him urge me to let go- to release the wall I had up to guard my heart and to let Him guard my heart instead. In that moment, I knew these were my babies. I knew that I was their mama. I rejoiced. I cried. I wondered what would happen next.
The next day we got a phone call. She was definitely going to parent the babies.
WHAT???? How could this be? Did I hear the Lord wrong? NO! No way! But if not, how could He have led me down this path only go have my heart trampled?
The following is from an email to my parents:
I don’t understand. I did everything right and was obedient. If this wasn’t going to happen, then why did the Lord tell me to open my heart? Why did He keep sending confirmation after confirmation to have hope? Why did He give us NAMES? It seems cruel. Either this is not over according to Him, or I totally heard Him wrong all this time (but why involve Lisa with the dream??) or…what? I know He’s Truth and Good and Love. Yet it would seem my heart doesn’t matter to Him if this is truly over. Or do I hold onto hope against all odds??? At every turn I heard, “God can do what He says He can do.”
It’s not that this adoption didn’t work for us. It’s that I feel like He led us on during these last few weeks. I got attached b/c HE told me to open my heart and bonded me to these babies that I’ve never even held. Why would He do that????? It feels like He’s playing games with my heart.
Eventually, the Lord showed us that only by attaching us emotionally to these children would we be committed to praying for them throughout their lives. And so, we came to terms with the fact that we are their spiritual parents, their God-parents, if you will.
A glance into my journal from that time shows this:
I don’t know what will come or even if its over, but there must be a reason you told me to open my heart and let me get emotionally attached to these children. I will surrender to this bond and take on the role of Mom- if only in a spiritual sense. I will not waver in prayer for them. Perhaps I’ll pray harder than if they were in my care- as I have no control in their upbringing. So we’ll pray. But you’ll have to do the leg work, Father. We will trust them to your care.
It occurred to me later, that if I had only read the NEXT VERSE of 1 Samuel 1:27 and 28 and realized it applied to me as well, I might have been better prepared.
“Now I, in turn, give him to the Lord, as long as he lives, he shall be dedicated to the Lord.’ She left him there.” ~1 Samuel 1:27-28
So we released them to the Lord and pray for them daily. We pray for these children and trust that He will grant our requests.
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Lauren
Lauren is in love with the Lord, the man of her dreams, and her new daughter. She and her husband married in June of 2006 and thereafter began their journey of infertility and adoption. Despite the many wounds, heartaches, and suffering,
Gabe and I spent Saturday night at Stephen Curtis Chapman’s Adoption Tour. It was an awesome and awful night of worshipping our Lord. You may be able to guess if you know anything about the Chapmans’ story of losing their adopted daughter Maria in an accident two years ago that there were many things about this concert that were terribly uncomfortable for us given our loss of our adopted daughter, one of our twins, in April 2010. But, I am starting to learn that discomfort is a good thing. Good grief…if two years after such pain the Chapmans can sing and speak about hope and heaven and dancing with their daughter, I surely can sit in my chair and listen and feel.
There are words that make me physically feel pain that never did before. Orphan. Surgery. Death. Heaven. Heart. Hope. They all bring a kick in the gut that they never brought in the past. Seeing videos and pictures of children in poverty and oppression, seeing a medical facility built to help special needs orphans receive love and care in the name of a lost child, hearing songs about seeing heaven in the face of your little girl, are all things that I would have been emotional about in the past (as I am a crier!). But now, these things bring about such deep emotions of pain, joy, and passion, feelings so real and raw, and I have never before felt this way. At times, it is too much and I want to hide. I want to avoid all things related to these topics that cause me to feel, good or bad. But, I am 100% sure that isn’t what Jesus would do and that I shouldn’t either. So, instead, I am making a conscious effort to make myself uncomfortable. I am looking for ways to be around these things more, to feel more of whatever God wants me to feel. Not to martyr myself, but because God gave me this pain for a purpose and if I ignore it how can I learn?
Can I tell you a secret that is pretty stupid on all sorts of levels? I haven’t opened my Bible in 3 months. That hurts to type. I have studied a lot of Scripture on the computer as I seek, listened to countless sermons, read devotional books, received daily e-mails that include Bible verses, and heard God speak through worship songs and other believers during that time. But, there is something so personal about my Bible and how it brings me to Jesus. It isn’t magical by any means as God obviously has been speaking to me without that one particular Bible that I personally prefer. I imagine there is some bit of control or anger or something that is keeping me from it. There are days I just get busy and forget, but there have been days that I think of it and delibrately choose to not sit down and open it. But. today, I am saying this here in this public way to hold me accountable I am going to open that pink and black Bible today and rid myself of whatever messed up thing I am holding onto.
I hope that you will take some time today to think about what you may be holding onto. Name it, say it out loud, and tell someone about it. It may be small and simple or something that seems to you to be too large to let go of. He just wants it. He just wants you. May you have the strength to give in to Him.
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Shelley Brown
Shelley has been married to her best friend, Gabe, for 11 years. They have 5 children–3 the old-fashioned way: Keaton (9), Kayden (6), and Laney (4). Their family adopted twin girls, Macy (1) and Gaby in 2010. After fighting for 7 months with Hypoplastic Right Heart Syndrome, Gaby is now in heaven with Jesus. Shelley is a preschool director of a Christian school part-time and Gabe works for a Christian insurance company providing insurance for Missions trips. Their family enjoys the adventure God has them on and is always looking to follow Him and give Him glory in all things. Check out their family blog.
I never in all my dreams imagined their relationship being this complete. This strong. When we ventured into the journey of adoption, we uttered the words “a sister for Masyn” often. Never did I dream how completely Eme would fulfill that role.
Eme doesn’t do anything half way. She jumps in full force and doesn’t look back. I should take a few lessons from her. Or at least take notes when watching her in action. It is no different in this role of little sister. She takes it quite seriously, I think.
She might lead you to believe that she’s opinionated and independent, but truth be told, she is a follower. When led by the right person.
And Masyn. I often wondered how she would feel about losing the position of “baby” in our family. It still amazes me that she simply stepped aside, welcomed this new person into our home, shared all of her things, and never once complained. Her love was immediate. What an amazing illustration of Christ’s love for us.
She is nurturing. She leads with a tender heart and a soft hand. In any new situation, she is quick to grab Eme’s hand and lead the way. When Eme’s insecurities creep in without anyone else noticing, Masyn is there to comfort and protect.
I have often wondered if Eme would feel left out. If the mother/daughter bond between Masyn and I would be so strong that she would have a hard time fitting in.
Now, my thoughts are shifting. I am wondering if perhaps I will be the one on the outside.
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Lindy Gregg
Kent and Lindy have been married for 10 years and have three biological children (two sons ages 8 and 6 and a daughter who is four) and our newest addition, Eme, who is 2
