Recommended Resources - The Sparrow Fund

We read a lot of books, and we’re not afraid to play favorites.

Resources for Grownups

Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson. We can only walk with our children to places we’re willing to go ourselves. In this book, Curt Thompson integrates neuroscience and attachment with Gospel Truth, revealing how it is possible for us to rewire our own minds, altering our brain patterns and literally making us more like the men and women God wants us to be. Explaining the brain in layman’s terms, he shows how we can be mentally transformed through spiritual practices, interaction with Scripture, and connections with other people.
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. A very impactful, often referenced book for understanding how trauma affects us wholistically. Dr. van der Kolk shares from his breadth of experience of studying trauma in a readable way, making neuroscience and biology understandable for all of us. This a helpful text for us as parents as well as individuals who carry our own experiences forward.
The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis. Often required reading by adoption agencies, this book explains what trauma looks like and how it affects our children in an easy-to-read format. While the content reflects biblical principles, it’s appropriate for readers of all faith backgrounds. Created to Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child, by Dr. Karyn Purvis with Michael and Amy Monroe, was written to help illuminate the biblical principles that serve as the foundation for the philosophy and interventions detailed in The Connected Child.
Different by Sally Clarkson. Choosing to shut out the voices of the world that said her son was “bad,” “broken,” and in need of fixing, Clarkson shares how she moved to trust that her son’s differences could be part of an intentional design by a loving Creator. Appropriate for any parent with an outside-the-box child as well as adults trying to make sense of their own differences.
Everyday Parenting With Security and Love by Kim Golding. Written by a British psychologist specializing in trauma and attachment, this parenting book is based on Dan Hughes’ PACE model of therapeutic parenting (playfulness, acceptance, curiosity, and empathy) and describes the whys behind challenges to connection, trust, intimacy, and shame as well as how parents can support their struggling children.
Fun Games and Physical Activities to Help Heal Children Who Hurt by Beth Powell. An easy read, this book is written by a Christian clinician from Texas specializing in attachment and adoption issues who helps parents to understand how some simple, tech-free games can be used therapeutically everyday as we parent our kids.
Games and Activities for Attaching With Your Child by Deborah Gray and Megan Clarke. When it comes to choosing the best games to play with children who have difficulties attaching, it is often hard to know how and what to play with a purpose in mind. This book contains fun, age-appropriate games for infants to older children along with an explanation of why they matter.
I Love You Rituals by Becky Bailey. This resource offers parents more than 70 rhymes and games that take only minutes a day but send our children messages of unconditional love. Appropriate for infants through elementary aged children, these easy-to-follow-and-learn ideas can help us help our children have fun and build relationship.
No Drama Discipline by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. Highlighting the link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears. Defining discipline to be more about instruction than punishment, the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth.
Parenting From the Inside Out by Dan Siegel. Siegel offers parents ways to form a deeper understanding of their own life stories and attachments so that they can better help their children navigate their life stories and attachments.
Parenting in the Eye of the Storm by Katie Naftzger. Naftzger, adult adoptee and family therapist, encourages parents on how to be the parents their child needs despite their erratic behaviors and moods and parent them for the future as well as for today.
Parenting With Theraplay by Vivien Norris and Helen Rodwell. Theraplay® is an attachment-focused model of parenting that helps parents to understand and relate to their child. By providing an overview of Theraplay and the psychological principles that it is based on, this resource explains how to apply Theraplay to everyday family life.
Play Therapy Activities: 101 Play-Based Exercises to Improve Behavior and Strengthen the Parent-Child Connection by Melissa LaVigne. This book offers ideas for activities often used by play therapists working with children and parents that you can do at home to grow your relationship. This is particularly good for first-time parents and/or parents who don’t feel as equipped to play with their child.
The Power of Showing Up by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. Siegel and Bryson don’t write for foster and adoptive parents specifically. But, what they offer us in this text is a beautiful explanation of what all human needs and how we can be agents of healing and health for our children as we help them to experience being seen, soothed, safe, and secure. We really like this book.
Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson. In a compelling, easily readable style, Curt Thompson provides theological and practical tools necessary to dismantle the shame that binds us and helps us identify our own broken places and find freedom from lifelong negative messages.
Therapeutic Family Essentials by Sarah Naish. This is Sarah’s newest parenting book and one we particularly appreciate because she not only explores how to parent children from hard places but describes specific episodes from her own family, specifically sharing both the parent’s and child’s narratives of the same events. The book can help us consider messages we send and how our children and we see the world differently and why.
Understanding Your Child’s Sensory Signals by Angie Voss. This practical handbook helps parents, teachers, and caregivers pause to consider if a child’s behavior may be driven by a sensory challenge and strategies to help.
The Whole-Brain Child by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. Siegel and Bryson don’t write for foster and adoptive parents specifically. But, what they offer us in this text is an understanding of how the brain develops and how to nurture healthy connections which is even more essential for parents of children whose brains are affected by early experiences of trauma.

Resources for Children + Families

About Adoption

Adoption is Both by Elena Hall. Written by an adoptee, this simple picture book acknowledges the varied parts of the adopted child’s experience and give words to families to communicate that an adopted child can feel sad, mad, and glad at the same time.
A Most Unusual Day by Sydra Mallery. Everything about Caroline’s day is unusual. She forgets her socks and lunch box; she feels sweaty; she can’t control her body as well as she normally does; and she makes a bunch of mistakes. It’s all because that day is the day her parents arecoming home from adopting a new little sister. We like this book for normalizing feelings and how they affect our bodies and talking about what it’s like to be an anxious older sibling to a new baby through adoption.
The Bridge That Love Built by Amara Bratcher. Many children who were adopted have gaps in their stories. This book gives parents an opportunity to revisit unknowns with truth from God’s word that we can confidently say we know. With lovely illustrations, this book is appropriate for both domestic and internationally adopted children.
Bunny Ross, I Love You by Melissa Marr. This book tells the story of a mother seeking to know her child and be the mother he or she needs. We like using this book as a starting point for parents to share with their children what they noticed about their child in the beginning and what they did to meet them where they were and show them love them there. (Note: there is an image at the end of a Caucasian infant with a Caucasian mother. We have found this book effective still with transracially adopted children and children who were not adopted as infants. However, we suggest not overlooking the image and instead talking about how your own family may look different and how.)
Emma’s Yucky Brother by Jean Little. Emma’s family is adopting a 4-year-old named Max from foster care, and 4-year-olds are different from babies. They can call special cookies yucky, play favorites, and be all-around pests. This early reader helps children better understand the experience of a foster child and can help siblings prepare for what it might be like to learn to be a family.
Foster Care: One Dog’s Story of Change by Julia Cook. This book tells the story of a little guy going into foster care for the first time and all sorts of big feelings. Appropriate for children who have experienced foster care and to help other children better understand what it is, why it is, and who all the people are who part of it.
I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie Kitze. An older book that could use an update, it’s still a good book to invite conversations about looking physically different from each other and what we may get from our birth families and what we may get from our adoptive families. Don’t be fooled by the cover; there’s varied representation, not just Asian.
I’ve Loved You Since Forever by Hoda Kotb. With simple language and sweet illustrations, adoptive parents can use this lyrical book as another way to express to their child how loved he or she is. It can also prompt conversations about what the seasons of waiting for each other were like for both parent and child.
My New Mom and Me by Renata Galindo. In simple language, nervous, worried, mad, and sad in adoption are normalized as well as navigating looking different than a parent. A particularly good fit for single-mother families, families specifically working on mother-child attachment, and families who have adopted an older child but general enough for all types of families, our favorite part is the end: “Mom is learning how to be my mom, and I am learning how to be Mom’s kid. We are learning how to be a family.”
Sisters by Judith Caseley. A book about international adoption of an older girl, Sisters is a cute story about Melissa and Kika who has just joined the family through adoption. The place Kika’s from isn’t named, but the parents travel for a couple weeks to bring her home and she has dark, wavy hair and fair skin. In simple language and cute pictures, Sisters touches on Kika’s fears and adjustments as well as Melissa’s. In the end, they argue and make up…just as sisters do.
Star of the Week by Darlene Friedman. Being “star of the week” is an exciting yet challenging experience for this kindergartener adopted from China. Birthparent questions and feelings are integrated really well, setting an example for parents who may feel less confident handling those conversations. Told by the little girl’s perspective, Cassidy-Li explains how they’ve talked about “all the reasons people can’t take care of their babies. They might be very poor, or maybe too young.” No promises are made, and language is very matter-of-fact with acknowledgment that a child can love her parents but still feel sad about birthparents.
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis. The story of an infant domestic adoption, each page starts with “Tell me again…” to string together the story of how a baby joined her family from the phone call in the middle of the night to the fun adjustments of having a new baby at home. The family tree page in the middle showing a birth dad and birth mom along with the words: “Tell me again how you couldn’t grow a baby in your tummy, so another woman who was too young to take care of me was growing me and she would be my birth mother; and you would adopt me and be my parents” may not resonate with your family. But, you could skip that page if you wanted. Our favorite part is when the parents arrival at the chaotic hospital is recounted: “…when you got there you both got very quiet and felt very small.”
We Belong Together by Todd Parr. If you want simple language and pictures for little ones, this classic by Todd Parr is a good one. Every page spread starts with “We belong together because…,” and beginning with “you needed a home and I had one to share” and then goes through more including “you needed someone to kiss your boo-boos and we had kisses to give.” Designed to work for all sorts of adoptive families with pronouns that change and people of different colors (think blue and purple!), parents could use this book with their children to make their own personalized version, bringing in what they believe are the reasons they belong together.
You Belong Here by M. H. Clark. While many adopted persons are sensitive to words like “meant to be,” many adoptive families have found this book to be affirming to their children and connecting as a family. Not specifically about adoption, it is a beautiful, quality picture book with lyrical prose that communicates belonging in a larger sense. “The stars belong in the deep night sky and the moon belongs there too, and the winds belong in each place they blow by and I belong here with you.”

Emotions & Connection

A Kids Book About Anxiety by Ross Szabo. “Anxiety is different than just being nervous.” It’s not just a feeling; it’s a felt experience, one that is really hard to navigate on our own. This entire series is “better together,” books specifically designed for grownups and kids to read together to build bridges about what might feel like big things—like racism, depression, grief, cancer, body image, and (soon) adoption. This specific title is a good one for helping all of us (grownups and kids) learn what it is and how to start to deal with it.
Allie All Along by Sarah Lynne Reul. When Allie breaks her crayon, she has super big feelings that make her stomp, smash, and crash. But, her brother knows her well and knows how to help. First, he gives her a pillow to punch then her favorite toy to squeeze. He coaches her in taking deep breaths, pretending his fingers are candles. Then, he helps her count backwards from 10. As her mad turns to sad and then the rest of the angry falls away, there she is, asking for a hug. We love this book for talking about coregulation with families and how sometimes our sad looks a lot like mad and what to do about it.
Captain Snout and the Superpower Questions by Daniel Amen. This is a fun children’s book that helps kids (and parents) identify ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) and combat them. Using a story, the book teaches kids to ask themselves “Is that thought in your head true? Are you 100% sure it’s true? so that our kids are better able to respond to challenges with truth.
The Circles All Around Us by Brad Montague. From the guy who created Kid President, this 2021 children’s book is all about connections (“A safe little place for just one person. Nobody in this circle but you. You could keep that circle closed to everyone but yourself…but that would be like a library with just one book on the shelf.”) and works well to use when talking to kids about who is in their inner circle and each ring on out.
Ellie Jelly and the Massive Mum Meltdown by Sarah Naish. This book describes a rupture and a repair when a Mama of two young kids “melts down” and then her kids do too. We’ve found this book to generate good conversations about what it may look like when Mom or Dad meltdown, what they need to regulate, and how to practice repairs.
How Little Coyote Found His Secret Strength by Anne Westcott and C. C. Alicia Hu. This therapeutic and very intentional picture book is written specifically to help children and adults better understand and talk about difficult experiences and how they impact our bodies and our reactions to other experiences. The book includes a guide for grownups at the end with suggestions for expanding the lessons in the book.
I Can Handle It by Laurie Wright. With simple, memorable language, this picture book goes through various scenarios that can feel overwhelming to a child and gives a few possible solutions, building a practice of problem solving, how to handle big feelings, and overall confidence.
I Can Handle It Special Occasions by Laurie Wright. With simple, memorable language, this picture book goes through various scenarios related to special occasions that can feel overwhelming to a child and gives a few possible solutions, building a practice of problem solving, how to handle big feelings, and overall confidence.
I Really Like Slop by Mo Willems. We really like Elephant & Piggie books, and this one is probably our fave for talking about reciprocal relationship. But, they’re all really fun and lend themselves to talking about friendship and connection and feelings in all sorts of ways.
I Will Be Okay by Laurie Wright. With simple, memorable language, this picture book goes through various scenarios related to special occasions that can feel overwhelming to a child and gives a few possible solutions, building a practice of problem solving, how to handle big feelings, and overall confidence.
Just Between Us by Meredith and Sophie Jacobs. Includes writing prompts and fun activities to build connection between mother and daughter. Use the framework to start and consider using the journal to create some special face-to-face connections too.
My Heart by Corinna Luyken. From moments of great joy and exuberance to necessary times of quiet contemplation, your heart is your guide. This lyrical book empowers all readers to listen to the voice within in this ode to love and self-acceptance.
Olive by Michelle E. Wilson. Oh Olive. Even through spills, hurts, misplaced shoes, and using up her sister’s shampoo, Olive is loved. That doesn’t mean that her people don’t groan, sigh, or turn red with anger. But, Olive learns that even then, she’s loved. We like this book for talking about what being loved really means and how we can remind each other that we’re loved when we forget.
The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld. This picture book features a little one who feels sad and all sorts of animals who want him to feel better and all have different ways of doing that. In the end, the one who helps him the most is the rabbit who listens first before offering all the other strategies. We like this book for talking about what we need, how to share that with our grownups and family, and how to love each other well (grownups and little ones alike).
Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival. This thoughtful story about Ruby focuses on the socio-emotional health of children providing a window for discussions about fear and anxiety. Percival treats worry like a natural part of life, including the idea that sharing worries with others is a good way to ensure “they never hung around for long.”
Silly Limbic by Naomi Harvey. Through a little boy and his invisible friend who is a dog named Limbic, this picture book helps families better understand the role of the brain in feeling and making sense of possible danger and how to tame our “inner guard dog” who often is stronger than he needs to be for kids with hard starts.
So Many Cuddles by Ruth Austin. We love this book for encouraging giving and receiving affection and for providing opportunity to practice it as families share their own “rise and shine cuddles,” “thank you very much cuddles,” and “you had a fall cuddles.” We also appreciate the inclusion of “no cuddles at all please, not right now” to help families learn to express when giving and receiving affection feels too hard and reinforce that they have a voice.
Tiger Days: A Book of Feelings by M. H. Clark. From tiger fierce to snail slow, there are lots of ways to feel and be. We love this book for putting playful language around a wide range of feelings and the way those feelings change from day to day.
Genmindful. This website offers resources to equip caregivers in positive parenting and early social emotional education. If you visit our space in person, you’ll recognize Genmindful here.

Celebrating Diversity + Promoting Acceptance

A Kids Book About Empathy by Daron K. Roberts. “Empathy means you listen, don’t judge, feel with, and ask questions….And empathy can even sound like silence. Just being there with someone can be the most powerful thing in the world.” We love this entire series as tools for grownups and kids to communicate about what might feel like big things—like racism, depression, grief, anxiety, divorce, and (soon) adoption. This specific title is such a good one for helping all of us (grownups and kids) learn four steps to growing our empathy, our ability to be “WITH” others.
A Kids Book About Racism by Jelani Memory. “Some people believe that having different color skin means you aren’t as good as others. That’s called racism.” We love this entire series as tools for grownups and kids to communicate about what might feel like big things—like failure, depression, grief, anxiety, divorce, and (soon) adoption. This specific title is such a good one for helping all of us (grownups and kids) better understand what the word “racism” means, what it can look like, and how it makes people feel.
All are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold. “We’re part of a community, Our strength is our diversity, A shelter from adversity, All are welcome here.” While so many of our children aren’t in physical classrooms right now, “classrooms” mirror our communities. The words like a rhyming song communicate that all have a place and all have a space; that’s the type of community we should aim to be.
Ballerina Dreams by Michaela DePrince. Written by an adoptee, this book tells the life story of Michaela DePrince who was adopted from Sierra Leone and raised in America. The book does begin with the death of her parents and her time at an orphanage, so be mindful of that as you share this title with your child. Ultimately, the story is one of triumph and hope. Michaela is now a ballerina, and the book is written to inspire children to work hard and keep dreaming!
Big Hair, Don’t Care by Crystal Swain-Bates. Lola has big hair, and she doesn’t care! Another fun book with great illustrations that celebrates Black hair.
Colors of Us by Karen Katz. A classic book that brings attention to all the different colors of skin that we are. Pair this book with Colors of the World crayons and create your own Colors of Us artwork for your family.
Creative God, Colorful Us by Trillia Newbell. This chapter book explores the diversity of creation through a biblical lens. It also includes activities and questions to encourage conversation between grownups and children. We really like the artwork in this one too!
Everybody’s Welcome by Patricia Hagerty. In this sweet forest setting, a home is built where everbody’s welcome. We love how this book feels and is laid out with imaginative page sizes (think Hungry Caterpillar style) to reinforce how important it is to extend a generous hand to those in need, whether neighbors in crisis, a friend with a problem, or a family immigrating to a new country. It’s a comforting story that will inspire fruitful conversations about the world today.
Everything Sad is Untrue by Daniel Nayeri. Don’t be fooled by this book living in the young-adult section. It’s appropriate and engaging for middle-school kids as well as grownups. This book is basically a memoir as Nayeri tells his story from the perspective of his middle-school self, the story of his family escaping Iran to live in a refugee camp and ultimately Oklahoma where he faces all sorts of challenges as a transcultural kid who has experienced early trauma.
Eyes That Kiss in the Corners by Joanna Ho. “Some people have eyes like sapphire lagoons with lashes like lace trim on ballgowns, sweeping their cheeks as they twirl. Big eyes, long lashes. Not me. I have eyes that kiss in the corners and glow like warm tea.” Those are the opening lines for this title about a young girl who notices her eyes are different than those of her peers. Drawing from the strength of powerful women in her life, she recognizes her own beauty and discovers her own strength. This powerful, poetic picture book is sure to resonate with all kinds of families as a celebration of diversity.
Eyes That Speak to the Stars by Joanna Ho. Published in 2022 as a follow-up to Eyes That Kiss in the Corners featuring an Asian boy who is hurt when a friend at school draws a picture and makes his eyes straight lines. With gorgeous illustrations, this book is a great read for families with and without Asian children and can be used to prompt conversations about physical differences and how to be race honoring.
God’s Very Good Idea Storybook by Trillia Newbell. In the beginning, God had an idea, an idea better than solar panels and x-ray machines, God’s good idea was to make people, all sorts of different people who all looked like him. “Everyone you see is different than you, and the same as you.” With playful illustrations, this book reminds us that that if we are all made in God’s image, we are all really, really valuable, each and every one of us. It also confronts that we have treated each other badly because of our differences and that we all need forgiveness. That’s what the Gospel is all about.
Hair Love by Matthew Cherry. An award-winning book celebrating Black hair, featuring a dad and daughter who are trying to do her hair while mom is away. It’s a fun family read and was made into a short animated film.
How to Fight Racism Young Reader’s Edition by Jemar Tisby. We really appreciate this 2022 title by the author of The Color of Compromise and How to Fight Racism. This adaptation is for 8-12 years olds to familiarize them with what social justice and racial issues are and how to pursue change on an individual level and macrolevel through awareness, connection, and relationships.
I Am Enough by Grace Byers. A picture book for young kids, this is a book about empowerment and believing in yourself. Featuring poetic language and beautiful illustrations, this is a great read for all children.
I Am Rosa Parks by Brad Meltzer. A picture book for young children detailing the life and legacy of Rosa Parks, this is an easy read and understand book to help kids begin to learn about our country’s history of racism and how Rosa Parks stood up for what she believed was right. Best read with a parent to discuss some of the themes which can feel big. However, we believe these conversations are worth it!
I Love My Hair by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley. This may be an oldie but a goodie. It’s a fun and simple book for younger kids that highlights different hair styles. It celebrates the diversity of hair and all it can do!
I Matter by Laurie Wright. We like this title in the Mindful Mantra series for reinforcing that even little people matter a lot and for generating conversation with our children about what makes us matter—not just what we do but for who we are just as we are.
Juneteenth for Mazie by Floyd Cooper. This book is a good introduction into the meaning and history of Juneteenth (June 19^th), a day recently made into a federal holiday and an important piece of Black history honoring the day freedom for enslaved Black slaves was pronounced in 1865.
Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Pena. CJ is a curious little boy who wants what others have. As he and his grandmother catch the bus across town after church to volunteer at the soup kitchen, CJ wonders why doesn’t he have a car, how come he doesn’t have headphones like the teenage boys, how come he has to go volunteer. While he’s feeling sorry for himself, His grandmother responds with acceptance and grace and gratitude. And, CJ’s heart is moved in response to her. Our favorite quote: “Sometimes when you’re surrounded by dirt, CJ, you’re a better witness to what’s beautiful.” (Bonus: there’s a service dog in a vest on the bus!)
Mixed by Arree Chung. Red, yellow, and blue lived in harmony until they each color thought they were better than the other. What changed it all was one relationship that grew into more relationships. Written by Chinese-American Arree Chung, we really like this story and all its playful illustrations for transracial families but also simply to prompt conversations about what makes things change so that old ways don’t “make sense anymore.”
Sulwe by Lupita Nyongo. A sweet but powerful story of a little girl who thinks her skin is too dark. Sulwe learns how to love her own skin and grow her understanding of her intrinsic value. We appreciate this gorgeously illustrated story of acceptance.
The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson. The world can feel like “a place that you’re standing all the way outside of.” But, when we share our stories, we can find that we are more alike than we thought. We like this book for normalizing the discomfort that comes with felt differences (physical differences, cultural differences, etc.) and the enjoyment that we can have from connecting in the midst of them.
The Name Jar by Yangsook Choi. Unhei’s fears about moving to a new school in a new country are amplified by the repeated mispronunciation of her name. This is a great story to help kids who are moving schools, kids who are uncomfortable about issues in the classroom, and kids who are struggling with differences among classmates and friends. Or simply, kids with unique names!
This is Me by Jamie Lee Curtis & Laura Cornell. This is the story of a classroom of children as they hear about the experience of someone who came to America from a faraway place and could only bring one suitcase and then learn about each other as they consider what they would put in one suitcase. While a super fun pop-up suitcase in the back of the book invites lots of play and conversation about what things tell our story, our favorite part is “For who you all are isn’t just what you’ve got, but part what you learn, part what you’re taught. Who you become starts with your past, family histories and stories that last.”
When God Made You by Matthew Paul Turner. A sweet story exploring the uniqueness of every child. Aimed at younger kids aged 3-8, the book features lovely illustrations with lots of diversity.
You Matter by Christian Robinson. This book invites conversations about how everyone matters no matter what. With words like “Sometimes someone you love says good-bye” and “Sometimes you feel lost and alone” paired with inclusive and engaging illustrations, this book is a good fit for families formed via adoption.