These few featured families are all families whose buttons for fundraising are featured on our site. Please read about them and consider supporting their efforts as they pursue God’s call for their families.
The Mulders
Brandon and Kari Mulder
Our adoption story all started this past year when we were faced with the news that we are unable to have biological children due to medical reasons, but God has laid it on our hearts to pursue adoption as a means of starting our family. Throughout our dating years, we had talked about adoption and how we would love to give a child a wonderful Christian home and family who might not otherwise have one. We have begun the process of domestic infant adoption. Right now, this seems like an overwhelming task that lay before us but we know through prayer, family support, and fellow adoptive families’ support, this will be a journey that we will never forgot and be better for it in the end. We have been encouraged by everyone
These few featured families are all families whose buttons for fundraising are featured on our site. Please read about them and consider supporting their efforts as they pursue God’s call for their families.
The Arpin-Riccis
The Arpin-Riccis
Greetings from the inner city neighborhood of Winnipeg’s West End! My wife Kim and I have been living and serving here as inner city Christian workers with Youth With a Mission (YWAM) for nearly 10 years. While there are many challenges, such as poverty and crime, it is also a wonderfully diverse community of people from all over the world. With many Ethiopian neighbours, it was especially exciting for us to begin the adoption process from Ethiopia in late 2007. Since then, the process has been long and challenging, as many complications (common to adoption in Canada) have slowed the process down. However, we are hopeful as we await a referral which should be coming in the near future. We still face that challenge of raise the funds, but God has provided so much already, with around $10,000 remaining in our goal. People can give through our website Adopt-A-Pixel.
The Rippees
The Rippee Family
We are Randy & Rita Rippee, parents of 4 children, 2 grown biological children and 2 adopted daughters from China. We feel the hand of God moving us to adopt another child from China and are asking for you to come along side us in the journey.
On Monday, we sent back all our notarized contracts and paper work to our agency along with our first of many BIG checks! When I went to the credit union to get our check, I was filled with a bittersweet emotion as the gal behind the counter asked how much to have the check made out for. With my heart in my throat, I said, “seven thousand three hundred and ninety dollars.” I kept having to remind myself–scratch that–KEEP having to remind myself, that this is exactly what this money is saved up for! So many stories are attached with every dollar of that $7,390! Each dollar represents a generous person, a creative fundraising event, a random blessing, a hard-earned dollar, and, truthfully, it flat out represents God’s faithfulness! So like in 1 Samuel 7:12, where God’s people stacked stones as a remembrance of His faithfulness to them, we are looking back over the past couple months as stacking stones in our lives!
So, what now you ask?! Well, it’s time to get our hands dirty and bust bootie in the savings department for the next BIG check and expenses in between! We have a choice to look at it two ways:
A daunting task full of anxiety OR
A chance for God to once again prove Himself to be faithful and unfold more amazing stories attached to each dollar raised and saved!
I chose choice number 2! (That is, until, I have my random freak out moments while laying in bed wide awake at night imagining all the worst case scenarios, while my hubby lays right next to me peacefully sleeping AND snoring the night away… just being honest!). I truly think REMEMBERING God’s faithfulness is key! He funds His callings. Without a shadow of a doubt, I know that He has led the way so far and told us to trust Him, and so we continue!
This evening, we got a call from our agency letting us know they received all our notarized paperwork, and it’s complete and looks great! That means we didn’t mess up our first “test” of signing and initialing a stack of papers a mile high! Yippee! Our adoption planner is on the way including everything we’ll need to gather for our dossier (fancy french word for adoption papers) and our required education courses.
While we are working on collecting everything for our dossier, we will also be doing our home study simultaneously. In order to begin our home study, we will need $625 to get that ball rolling. Our savings is currently at $577, so we’re getting there!
We will be on a paper chase for both the HS and dossier collecting things like birth certificates, marriage license, passports, medical forms, criminal checks, employment verification, letters of recommendation, financial statements, power of attorney, and the list goes on and on! My prayer is that I can be like Jude and just enjoy digging in to the overwhelming mess of paperwork/dirt and have fun!
This whole process of the HS and dossier typically takes families 3-4 months to complete. During that timeframe, some significant fees that we’ll encounter are:
Adoptive Parent Education (online courses): $170
US CIS Fee $670
US CIS Fingerprinting Fee $80 per adult
Finally, once everything is complete and ready to be sent over to Ethiopia is when our next BIG check is due. With the completed dossier, we owe (big breath) $4,500 International Service Fee.
Well, there you have it! We’re doing our best to lay pride aside and be as open and honest about this whole process as possible, including all the financial mumbo jumbo that goes with it. More then anything, our prayer is that God would receive the glory because we know that financial hurdles like these can only be accomplished by someone far bigger than us! We also pray this is read with hearts that know that in us sharing all these dollar amounts, there is absolutely NO obligation to give what so ever! We are truly humbled and gracious and amazed at the generosity that’s been shown to us so far and we know that it’s been God using others to write His story in our lives! So, thank you for being used by God!
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Since this post was originally written, 2 months ago, the Helms family has raised nearly $6,700 including money from yard sales, t-shirt sales, Just Love Coffee sales, $2000 in donations from adoptive families they have never even met, donations from friends and their 2nd grade Sunday School teacher, among other things! With the last gift of $845.26 from the Sunday School teacher on October 20th, they were able to send their completed dossier to their agency on October 21st. Now, they anxiously wait to hear what number they are on the waiting list for a little boy from Ethiopia.
Our obedience does not make God bigger or better than He already is. His essence is unchanged by our obedience or lack of it. Anything God commands of us is so that our joy may become full–the joy of seeing His glory revealed to us and in us! Two major reasons for obedience are that we may become targets of blessing and that He may have the pleasure of bestowing it. Either way, obedience benefits us!
Hilary said, “We would never be experiencing these blessings in our life right now if we hadn’t been obedient to the burden of adoption that He placed on our hearts! It just goes to show once again that He is most glorified in us when we are most glorified in Him!”
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Hilary Helms
Hilary is a down to earth, stay-at-home mom to the most precious, tender hearted 3-year-old boy, Jude. She has been happily married for 5 years. Her husband is a high school AP world history teacher and soccer coach, along with being one heck of a daddy! They desperately are seeking to be obedient to the burden God has placed on their hearts for orphans and are in the early stages of an adoption from Ethiopia. This is a HUGE step of faith in so many ways, financially being one of the biggest! YET, God has already provided in amazing ways! They trust that He is writing this story in their lives, and they know He funds His callings. They don’t know exactly how each page of the story is going to unfold, but they lay it at His feet and trust. Read more about their family and check out their fundraising efforts, also featured on the fundraising families’ page on this site, here.
It’s a boy.
He is five months old.
And his given name {from the orphanage} is Asiimwe Joseph.
My dear sweet baby boy,
As you’re sleeping, across the ocean, do you know how much you’re loved right now?
Can you feel it from that far away?
I so badly hope with all my heart that last night someone whispered in your little ear and told you that you had a family.
That you can feel the difference in your heart too.
Your daddy and I are no longer two but three. And, we, my son, are a family.
Do you understand how many people are dying to meet you? It’s so crazy to me the emails and letters and calls pouring in today. Family and friends and even perfect strangers sharing in our celebration day. Crying with us. The happiness. The oh-my-goodness-when-do-you-get-to-go-get-him?
There we were, going through another miscarriage. I began wondering if it was wrong for me to continue to pray to God for a baby. Afterall, if parenthood wasn’t in God’s plan for us, we didn’t want to be outside of His divine will for our lives.
But, what would I do with the gaping hole in my heart aching to be filled by a baby!?!? My empty arms and aching heart were sobbing ~ at moments even SCREAMING ~ for God to talk to me!
Didn’t HE put this strong desire to be a mommy in my heart!?? WHY wasn’t He answering my heart’s cry?!? Was I being disobedient for continuing to seek Him for a child, if His answer was consistently “NO”?
Jeff believed we should stay on our knees and seek the Lord. I began to wonder if it was even worth asking for, if God had no intention of bringing us children.
I wondered if I was being selfish in my continued prayers for what God didn’t seem to want to bless me/us with. God assured me one night, through Jeff, that YES! He wanted me/us to continue to seek Him and pray for the desires of our hearts! He wanted us to continue to pray for our children and wait for Him!
Psalms 27:14: “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”
After reading an article one night, Jeff paraphrased for me the difference between expectancy and expectation. He doesn’t recall now where he read it, darn it! I wish I could credit who helped answer such a mystery for me! Allow me to share with you how learning such a difference freed me to keep praying amidst our unanswered prayers!
God wants us to lay the desires of our heart at His feet. He wants us to pursue these desires with confidence in Him. Not confidence in our ability to reach these dreams, but confidence in His ability and willingness to answer our prayers! He yearns to bless us abundantly! His plan for us is GOOD! ALWAYS!
I had the special privilege of working as an Adoption Social Worker for many years. I typically wrote a letter similar to this to each child after they went home with their adoptive parents. My purpose in doing so was two fold: (1) to share my experience of the time I spent with their birth parents and how they came to chose adoption and to let them know how much they were loved and (2) to share Jesus with them. I gave a copy to the adoptive parents to share one day in the future if they chose to, and I placed a copy in their adoptive file to be found should they ever seek information in the future.
Rya & Roman
The end of this letter is a little more personal because this is our own adoption story.
Dear Rya and Roman,
I knew your birth mom K for 5 years prior to your birth. She was a single mom raising a daughter and had previously placed another child for adoption. She was 24 years old with a high school GED and a job in a hospital cafeteria. She was 5’6 tall with long beautiful brown hair and brown eyes. You both have her cute nose! She was very pretty. Her personality was strong, determined, hard working, funny, and self-assured. I love her laugh! I know less about your birth father T, but you are both tall like him and Rya looks a lot like he does!
She had dreams of a husband still unfulfilled. She wanted what most women want, a good husband who could provide financially, a home and a family. When she was pregnant with the two of you, she really wanted to be able to parent you! The reality of raising 3 children alone hit her, and it broke her heart, but she decided that placing you for adoption would be the best gift she could give you. Because she had already gone through placing your older sister H, she was aware of just how hard it was going to be. There is a grief in placing a child for adoption that is like a death. It is always there and doesn’t go away. On top of that, society doesn’t help because they don’t always honor birth moms in the way that they should for making such a difficult and unselfish decision. I consider them heroes who will chose to carry the pain of loss for what they believe is the greater good. I’m not sure I have that quality. I am too selfish.
She loved you so much! Let me try to explain what that kind of love looks like. She loved you so deeply that she was able to look beyond herself and think about what would be the best for you in your life. All the while she could feel you moving inside of her and she was beginning to know each of you. She could tell which one of you were moving and who was in what position. She used to tell me all the time that “the little girl is going to be the strong one.” It turns out she was right! She also allowed me to be a big part of her pregnancy, because she wanted you both to recognize my voice when you were born. She wanted you to be raised in a Christian, 2-parent home with siblings and lots of love.
She chose an open adoption so that she would be able to know you and you her. You have 3 siblings whom you get to stay in contact with because of our open adoption. We chose open adoption as a family because, as Christians, we felt the gift she was giving us was amazing but realized that we have a lifetime of gifts to give to her in return. Your dad called it a ministry opportunity. We can be Jesus to her. We can be a witness through how we raise you, how we treat her and honor her as your birth mom. We believe that the example of our Christian marriage can be a witness to her. We can help lessen her grief by allowing her to share in your life. She and your birth father T are a part of our lives now forever because they are a part of you and we celebrate that!
It’s neat to know them because sometimes I will call you by one of their names when you make a facial expression like them or you act like one of them. It’s what can sometimes be missing for an adoptive child, the connection of knowing whom you look like and where you came from. You can act like K and often look like her but I see a lot of H in you as well. Roman looks a lot like H!
I want to share with you some of what the Bible says.
Isaiah 44:2 says: “I am your Creator, you were in my care even before you were born.” God made you, you are not an accident.
While we were at the beach, Anthony and I took Hailee and Harper out of the water for a little break before they totally turned into raisins. We were lying in the shade giving them a snack. Haven was with us too. Anthony looked at the three kids and casually said, “So, these are the three who will more than likely stay with us forever.” I nodded yes. Perhaps they will be with us until God takes us home.
The “empty nest” question is one that tends to come up frequently. People ask us how we feel about knowing that we may never be empty nesters. I know that it is something that every family considering adopting a child who may be unable to live alone as an adult needs to think about before committing to bring them home.
For us, it is not something we think about or talk about very often these days. The topic obviously came up when we were considering bringing Haven home. We knew there would be a strong possibility that Haven would never be able to live alone, and we needed to seriously consider how we felt about that. And so we did.
These days things are different for us. The empty nest thing is not something we ever really think about. I don’t know, maybe it’s because our lives are so busy and crazy that we never have much time to sit and ponder what our future may or may not look like. Or, perhaps, it’s because God has given us such peace that an empty home is something we may possibly never have.
How do we truly feel about the possibility of never being alone without kids in the house? Well, we’re so perfectly fine with it. We believe that God calls us all differently. I will never become a lawyer or an orthodontist (heck, I really should though with the amount of money they charge to put a piece of wire in someone’s mouth!), and I would absolutely make the worst accountant ever because even my son’s fifth grade math confuses the dickens out of me. I don’t even know if God will ever call me back to working full time outside of my home. Our calling is different than others. He calls us all individually–and when He does He equips us with everything we need to accomplish the mission and gives us absolute peace on the journey. This is our mission. And, with this mission comes a future where Anthony and I may never be alone. For us, it is just part of the journey to be faithful to fulfill what God has told us to do.
Raising the children God has asked us to bring home is a calling for us. It is what the Father has told us to do in this life. We know our future is in His hands. He has taken away any desire that was once there to be empty nesters. We just don’t think about it anymore. We know that Hailee, Harper, and Haven may live with us forever, and that’s perfectly okay with us. When we’re enjoying our golden years in the RV across America, we’ll have three extra passengers, and that will make the journey even more fun.
Besides, we really believe in living each day the Lord has blessed us with to the fullest–whether we have seven kids at home or three. Will it always be easy? Heavens, no. There will probably be many times when Anthony and I will long for moments alone together. But I know my God–I know that when those times come, He will always provide a way to bless us with the desire of our hearts. He’s just so good like that.
We feel so blessed, not by earthly possessions and material wealth we have accumulated but because the Almighty Father has chosen us to be the parents of these three precious children who will more than likely need us to be with them (or near them) forever. What a joy it is going to be to share the rest of our lives with them. The thing that brings me the greatest joy in all of this is knowing that they are here with us, not in some orphanage all alone. That’s what really matters.
Who knows what our daughters’ futures are going to look like? Not us. We have no idea how their lives are going to unfold. And so, we continue to take one day at a time and allow the Lord to have His will and His way in their lives and ours.
May our nest always be full to overflowing. I’ll take it any day!
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Adeye Salem
Adeye is a mom to seven children, three biological sons and four
Just recently, we finalized the adoption of our son, Joshua, from the foster care system. On adoption day, I wrote the following letter for him to read as he grows up:
I have yet to see a photograph of a baby dressed in split pants, with a sign propped next to her boldly announcing the three Chinese characters that form her name. I have yet to share in the joy of referrals with others in our DTC group. I have yet to see a light at the end of our tunnel. Yet, I still believe.
I believe because I have faith.
Whether you are Christian or not, it takes Great Faith to believe that China continues to move along with its international adoption program, albeit at a snail’s pace. It takes Great Faith to cling to the thought of one day meeting a child who will become your daughter or son. It takes Great Faith to trust in God’s will and timing.
Faith.
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
We, I, being human, often blur the lines between faith and personal rights.
China doesn’t owe me anything. God doesn’t owe me anything. In fact, if the truth were told, I owe everything to God and to the country of China for allowing me to parent the one beautiful, vivacious daughter who currently fills my life with laughter and our little corner of the world with mischief. (Most recently, she upended an entire bucket of water onto poor Posies head. Sigh.)
Yet, I’m struggling with anger right now as well as a tremendous sense of impatience. It shames me to admit that because I don’t have a right to these emotions. God does not owe me anything, not even parenthood, whether through birth or adoption. I am not entitled to adopt from China; I am privileged to apply. And, a child born halfway around the world does not deserve to experience abandonment just so that I can mother her.
Impatience.
It’s difficult for others outside of the adoption world to truly understand how it feels to wait during the adoption process. It’s similar to being two months pregnant, only that single moment in time lasts for years and years. You still haven’t quite reached “the safe period,” so you hesitate about sharing the news, since you don’t know what the future holds. It’s too early to set up the nursery, yet you need to plan for it, so you dream and wait. You aren’t visibly pregnant, yet your emotions often take you on a roller coaster ride, so you struggle to live life as you did before. Things get put on hold because you make statements like, “well, we won’t be able to do that because the baby might be here by then.” And, because it’s an adoption, instead of a pregnancy, your due date constantly pushes back further and further and further.
It’s difficult to wait.
This past weekend the Husband and I worked for hours in our garden: pruning, weeding, even widening one of our flower beds. I spent quite some time puttering with my roses. We have several rose bushes, but the ones most people notice are the two largest. The first sits in the front yard, along the walkway leading to our front door. It blooms with gorgeous, fragrant red roses. The bush in our backyard next to the herb garden blooms with smaller, pale peach and less fragrant roses. While I worked with these two plants, I remembered something my friend Lizard once called to my attention.
If you look closely, you’ll see there exist less obvious differences between our two rose bushes. And, if you grab hold of a stem from each plant, you will learn of their differences painfully.
Our red rose bush sports the most wicked thorns I’ve ever personally handled. Our peach rose bush? It hardly contains any thorns at all. I can cut this bush back without even bothering to wear gardening gloves. Lizard, a former florist, once told me that you can predict how large the blooms will be by looking at the thorns . . . the larger the thorns, the larger the roses.
The larger the thorns, the larger the roses.
The larger the bumps in the road, the larger the blessings.
I learned this lesson already with the Tongginator. I truly did. Now, perhaps my thorns, at least this time around, aren’t the actual adoption process and wait, as I initially believed. Perhaps, this time, the thorns are in my soul. Perhaps God is using this long wait (25 months today) to teach me the true meaning of faith: hope without entitlement and patience without anger.
Perhaps…
What are you waiting for? And, more importantly, what are you learning during your season of waiting?
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Mother to the little Tongginator
Although Tonggu Momma wrote this post over 2 years ago, she continues to learn God-sized lessons during her season of waiting. She and her family now have been officially waiting to adopt from China for 4 years, 3 months, 5 days, and 6 hours. Not that she’s counting or anything. (And see??? She
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