As our China Team is returning from their fall trip to serve orphans, we wanted to share Heather’s reflections following her trip to China with the Sparrow Fund Team last spring.
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It’s been almost a week since I stepped off a plane back onto U.S. soil after being in China for 11 days. I planned on writing about my experience shortly after, but here I am, six days later, and I’m still struggling to find words to adequately describe the trip.
How do you accurately explain to people a journey that profoundly impacts the way that you see God and others?
How do you put into words what happens in your heart when you walk into a place expecting hopelessness and see God at work there?
How do you eloquently share the emotion you’ve experienced when you have looked into the eyes of an orphan whose story is a mystery and pray with faith that God has a divine destiny for them?
I could sit here and write about what we did while we were in China. I could tell you about what our days in the orphanage looked like. I could describe the children, their caregivers and the facility. I could give you the itinerary of our trip and tell you about the incredible sights we saw.
But now, in this moment when my heart is still raw and my mind is constantly drawn back to the orphanage, to their faces…
Instead of telling you what I did, I feel it’s much more important to try and share what God did in me.
I left for China with the desire to love orphans. I came home with the understanding that God was already there, loving them in a way I never could.
I left for China thinking we would bring hope to the hopeless. I came home knowing that, even in the most tragic of places, God’s spirit is there, hope in hand.
I left for China ready to be a light to the staff and caregivers at the orphanage. I came home having witnessed His light radiating through the beautiful people we met.
I left for China thinking God needed me to go and do something for Him. I came home realizing that God had already been at work there, and I was simply invited to come and be a part of it.
Our God is so incredibly big. He is at work in the far corners of the earth, His presence bringing hope and light and healing to the least of these. His hand is gentle and strong and is able to do mighty works on behalf of those who don’t even know His name. He is drawing people to Himself through His goodness and mercy. And when we step out in obedience, He gives us the incredible opportunity to be a part of that work.
It’s not about us. It’s not about what we can do. It’s not about good deeds or works or humanitarian efforts or anything based on human skill or emotion. Our lives should be spent- poured out, broken, completely used up- as we make ourselves available to God’s purposes. It’s never about us. It’s about finding where He is at work and joining in what He is doing.
For each of us, that will look different. For me, the Lord has opened my eyes to what He is doing in orphan care and adoption. He is setting the lonely in families, and I want to be a part of that. I love seeing His redemption and grace mercifully poured out through adoption. I have been a witness firsthand through the grafting in of our son to our family. I believe God is doing an incredible thing and I am willing to join in that work, in whatever capacity the Lord sees fit. I am His humble servant, He is Sovereign God.
Today, as I sit here in my comfortable house with the sounds of my three precious children in the background, my thoughts drift to those dark brown eyes, all 13 sets of them, that I looked into as I prayed and declared blessing and favor over them for 5 days. I am not hopeless, and not saddened for them, because I know that God has already been at work and will continue to move on behalf of these precious treasures that He calls by name. I cannot rescue them all, but I can be a part of what God is doing through prayer and advocating.
How do you describe what you’ve experienced when words fail you and tears are the only thing that come easy?
Just be still and know that HE IS GOD.
I’m waiting.
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Heather and her husband Derick stay busy raising their two biological daughters and their son who came to their family from South Korea in 2012. They are youth pastors at their local church and Heather is a director of a private Christian preschool. When she is not working or spending time loving on her family, you can find her sharing coffee with friends, writing, making music, or getting creative [messy] in the kitchen. You can follow their family’s journey at Confessions of an Honest Mom and Our Heart-N-Seoul.