I was laying in bed this morning thinking about attachment. I am almost positive that our little ones are going to have a hard time attaching to us. What dawned on me, however, is that I may not love them right off the bat. Loving them may not come naturally like it did with Lily. I pondered this and turned to the Bible to see what God’s word says about love.
Of course, the first place to look is 1 Corinthians 13.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
After reading through that list, I realized that there is no mention of feelings. Love is NOT a feeling; it is what we do.
Let all that you do be done in love.
1 Corinthians 16:14
Love is an action, not a feeling.
This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.
John 15:12
Love is a command. God doesn’t ask us to feel love. He commands us to love.
I will not hold on to the hope that the feelings of love will come. My hope is in Christ. Through Him I need to purpose to love my children. Christ is not looking for me to just want feelings of love, He wants me to act in love. All I need to do is follow the list in 1 Corinthians 13. That IS love! When I am patient, kind, and not seeking for myself, then I AM loving my children.
________________________________________
Liz Grabowski is a daughter of Christ, wife to Jon and mother to five. Two of their children are born to them and three are adopted from Henan, China. Liz and her husband are currently in China adopting a 4-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. Their trip has been filled with challenges and joy. Click here to read about their journey so far and what is to come.
________________________________________
If you haven’t already, go enter the WAGI birthday giveaway at this post.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! :o)
In the four months we have been home, I have recited I Corinthians 13 to myself nearly daily. What I have found is that sometimes my feeling of love for my bio children still didn’t always have the action of love accompanying it. We have this verse on our refrigerator as a reminder to us all of how we are to treat one another.
What you said is so true – but action-based love is hard too. It’s hard to keep treating someone lovingly when the feelings aren’t there yet. I believe that when you treat someone lovingly, the feelings will come, just sometimes not as quick as we’d like. There are days when I wonder if they ever will come (for me).
I agree with you. Action-based love is tough and much tougher when those feelings don’t have a stronghold yet.
This is just what I needed today! Thank you! 🙂
just wrote a post about this last week.
love has been the biggest struggle for me in this adoption process.
this post was encouraging, thank you.