Always inquisitive and literal, my four year old looked at me at the end of our meal and asked, “Mom, how can God live in my heart if He is living in heaven?”
“Well, honey, God is everywhere, so He can live in your heart AND in heaven.”
“Even when we go on vacation?”
“Yep, even when we go on vacation. He can be in both places at the same time. That’s kind of hard to understand, isn’t it?”
Looking puzzled she replied, “Yes, Mom. That’s like a science question.”
To her, a “science question” is a really hard question – a question whose answer is either “I don’t know”, or is too hard to understand. As I pondered our little conversation, I couldn’t help but find so much truth in it.
Ask anyone who has adopted and they will likely tell you that it was during the course of their adoption that they saw God move in powerful, undeniable ways. Those stories are such an encouragement to hear and are readily shared with others.
But most adoptive parents will also tell you that it was during the course of their adoption that they questioned God the most. Why is this so hard, Lord? Why are we hitting yet another road block? Is this the child you would have us adopt? Why are the feelings of love not coming as quickly as I assumed they would? Why did our adoption fall apart? When will the waiting end? How can this be happening?
Hard, faith-testing questions. Questions that often have no earthly answer or explanation.
“Science questions.”
We all have them. And I dare say that those “science questions” are just as important to share as our “success stories”. Sharing our struggles and questions – even unanswered ones – with each other allows us to experience authentic, faith-filled community. You struggle with that? I do, too!
It’s also important to keep approaching God with our questions. He’s big enough to handle our questions. Even our “science questions”. And while He certainly could give us answers, He just may be more interested in having us wrestle with Him over the questions.
Wrestling requires closeness.
Wrestling produces strength.
Wrestling may also cause hurt (as it did when Jacob), but with God it will be a hurt that will serve as a reminder of the holiness of God and the intimacy of your relationship.
So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. … The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.
Genesis 32:24-25, 31
So share those questions with others in your faith-community. Find support and community with others. You are not alone in your questioning. But also approach God with your questions. Wrestle with Him. He longs to draw you closer to him and will use anything He can to get you there.
Even “science questions”.
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18 years in the classroom as a teacher was easy compared to parenting three little ones at home full-time. Through their three daughters, God has revealed Himself most clearly to Stephanie and her husband Matthew. He not only worked a miracle in giving them their biological daughter, He continued to show Himself in mighty ways throughout adoption journeys in China and Bhutan that were anything but normal. Nowadays she enjoys encouraging and connecting with other adoptive families through her work on “We Are Grafted In”. You can read more about their family on their personal blog We Are Family.