Me: What did Daddy say?
Ping: Ping no throw books.
Me: Right, and what did Ping do?
Ping: Yes throw book.
Me: Did Ping listen to Daddy?
Ping: No.
Me: Is Daddy happy or sad that you did not listen.
Ping: Daddy no happy.
Me: So will Ping listen to Daddy?
Ping: Yes.
Me: Thank you. Daddy loves you, Ping.
Ping: I no love Daddy.
Me: That is okay. But, I still love you.
Ping: I no love Daddy.
Me: That is okay. But, Daddy still loves Ping.
Ping: I no say I love Daddy today.
Me: Maybe tomorrow?
Ping: Yes. Ping love Daddy tomorrow.
Me: That’s great. I still love you today though and tomorrow.
Ping: No today. Tomorrow, I love Daddy.
Me: Okay, good night, baby. I love you.
I would have to say that once the initial punched-in-the-gut feeling wore off, this made me so very happy! I was thrilled that my daughter said she “no love” me (more on that at the end of the post).
Ah, the joys of parenthood! It is not for the faint or the weak or those who get queasy at the sight of blood. That’s for sure. Having your child tell you they don’t love you is one thing, thinking they believe it is something else.
Thank you Adrian for sharing! I have a little one that once upon a time, in the beginning, we wondered if she would ever be able to grasp the concept of love. The thought of that was daunting. “Getting it” is big big stuff! The BEST stuff! Savor the love!
Nancy
Wow!!!! This is such a powerful story and such an important one for me to hear. Thank you so much!!!!
Something that you have also taught her is that love is not conditional. It is not based on something you “do” or don’t “do”. You will love her no matter what. Your love for her is unconditional. Love is not a wishy washy gushy touchy feely emotion that we often label it as. It is not something that always “feels” good. You are teaching her vital characteristics about love and with that can follow the tender emotions you felt when she jumped into your arms. But, not always. It can be so hard to love in this way, but I commend you for sticking to it and even though you may have had some pangs of hurt in the initial conversation, the thought that she is “getting it” is so great! Good job dad!