I used to teach middle school right after Stephen and I got married. One of our most memorable times from that period in our lives was chaperoning the middle school dances. Oh my goodness! See if this doesn’t sound familiar to you– the boys all lined up on one side of the gym, the girls on the other. The music is playing, but only a few are actually dancing. The rest are hesitant, scared, painfully self-aware, or ashamed, embarrassed, unsure…..
They want to dance– desperately. But their fear is so real, so big. They doubt they belong in the crowd cool enough to get out on the dance floor. They fear they don’t have what it takes, that they will fail in some way- so it is easier just to hang back and watch, acting as if in reality they don’t actually want to dance.
Stephen and I laugh when we remember the inevitable posse of girls moving in a chattering, giggling unit over to a friend, ready to drag him or her out on the floor. The friend would resist, of course, but no doubt was thrilled that the issue was being forced, relieved to have found a way to overcome the barrier.
A dance is an intimate thing. It speaks of romance and partnership, and fun. There is a dance going on and sometimes I see the adopted children I know struggle like those middle school students. The best song is playing– the one everyone loves. It is the SONG OF ALL SONGS! It is the music of adoption, of acceptance, of unconditional love. There is no better song to dance to! And the dance is happening right before their eyes, this DANCE OF LIFE.
and yet, they hesitate
denying even the desire to dance
covering their fear of the intimacy of it all with denials
declaring “that’s just not who I am”
the voice of rejection whispering (or yelling) in their ear
you don’t belong in that dance
rejected, dejected
not a son, not a daughter
and you and I KEEP DANCING
for we can do nothing else with such a song
we have been captivated by the tune– it is beautiful and so very good
we swing by our child
extending our invitation to join in with abandon
and some come with joy
and some hesitate
but all desire to join in, secretly loving it when we grab hold and pull them into the longed-for movement of life
because this is what they are born to do, to dance to this
SONG OF SONSHIP
___________________________
Beth has been married to her husband Stephen for 27 years. They have seven children, ages 18-24. Several years after giving birth to three girls God called their family to the adventure and blessing of adoption. In 2000, they brought home a brother and sister, ages 5 and 10, from Russia. Then they returned to the same orphanage 18 months later and brought home two more brothers, ages 7 and 10. Beth’s heart has been deeply and forever changed as she has watched the love of Father God poured out on her whole family through adoption. She leads Hope at Home, a ministry dedicated to help adoptive and foster parents encounter the Father’s heart for their families, partnering with God to transform orphans into sons and daughters. For more parenting insight and encouragement in the Lord, go to Hope at Home.