Category: Family Stories

Personal family stories

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Why I Chose to Adopt

Less than 12 months ago, I was a mom of two bio kids.
Today, I have three bio and one adopted.

It did not come easy.
I will not lie and say I did not toss and turn about it.
I prayed and prayed for timing for us and for the child.
I asked God to make me willing.
I asked God to open my heart.

I went to Haiti.
With my own two eyes, “I saw.”
I saw so much beauty, pain, but all came wrapped in need.
My heart was so open, I left wounded.
I wanted to run somewhere and pretend I had not seen such life.
I wanted to forget stories I heard.
I wanted to forget eyes that looked at me with hope.

As much as I wanted to.
I chose to not.

I came home and tossed and turned some more.
A lot more.

I thought of the boy I met.
I thought of what would be best for him.
I thought of the babies I carried.
I thought of the sound of roosters.
I thought of the sound of children laughing.
I thought of the lady I met on a random walk lifting her shirt to show me her hungry belly

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I Got You Babe!

Originally posted on her blog on September 7, 2010…

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I love days on which I am forced to reflect. Today is not a day I would typically think about anything other than the 15 piles of laundry this weekend

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Adoption is Hard

Adoption is BEAUTIFUL, but it is HARD.

Adoption is REAL people/kids who have LOST EVERYTHING.

ALL adopted kids experience some kind of grief and trauma. And, yes, even children who are placed in their adopted parents arms right after birth experience the grief of losing their biological mother. It is just the way God designed us! God intended the relationship between a child and their biological parents to be the strongest human bond. But, because we live in a BROKEN world, this is not always the case. There are over 160 million children who are orphaned worldwide (UNICEF).

This week one of our children worked through some of their grief. It started over something very insignificant but ended in me rocking this child for over an hour while they wailed at the top of their lungs, and we listened to praise music. Much of this time was spent with both of us crying for the loss, the trauma, the hurt and the fear.

I tell you this because adoption is hard but worth every tear. God adopts us into His kingdom. When we decide to give our lives to Christ we can experience many of the same emotions. We hold onto the things of our past; we might fear the past or future; we grieve the past and slowly start trusting God. It takes time to give our WHOLE lives to God; it takes time to TRUST God with the small details; and it takes time to KNOW God will make all thinks work together for good like He tells us. It is a process similar to forming your family through adoption.

But as a Christian, we have the hope and joy of the future. We have understanding that we will spend eternity worshiping our King. We know that God has made us new, and He lives in us. But, we fight this because of our fleshly desires (sin).

Adoption is hard, but it is worth it. It is worth the cost of redemption because we are talking about human souls that will live forever in heaven or in hell. God wants to use the hard times so we can draw close to Him. God wants to rock us and tell us it will be okay. He will take care of us. He will provide for our needs. He will love us even when we sin. He loves us despite our wicked hearts. ALL GOD WANTS IS FOR US TO LOVE HIM!

Please do not let fear hold you back from adopting a precious child. God will give you the strength and wisdom you will need.

Although we had a painful night, we have seen tremendous strides in this child. God did heal parts of our child’s heart!

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Danielle Banker

Danielle is married to the love of her life, Doug. She is a stay-at-home mom who is starting to home school and loves orphan advocacy. God has used His plan of adoption to impact their lives. They brought home their first two children from Ethiopia in June 2010 (4 and 1 years old), and they hope to adopt many more children. You can follow their journey here.

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From an Adoptive Sister

Go back to August of 2005. I was a 10-year-old girl. I was happy with my life. I loved my family; life was good. I had a mom, dad, and two biological brothers. When my Mom and Dad had just gotten married, my Dad mentioned international adoption to my Mom. She thought it was a crazy idea at the time. She wanted a boy and a girl, better known as “the average American Family.” My Mom went to a spa day that my Dad had gotten her for Mother’s Day but she had put off going. God had a plan. She finally went, and the woman who did her massage talked about her China adoption and how beautiful and wonderful it was. God planted a seed. When my Mom left the spa she called my Dad and said “Hal, I think we have a daughter in China.” My Dad had a simple response, “I have been praying you would say that.”

So, it began. My parents announced they were adopting in a fairly simple way. They really didn’t have much choice since I was 10, Adam was 6, and Hayne was 2. My Mom came to me and said, “So, Ashton, How do you feel about a little sister?” I was estatic and was jumping “I would love one!! Is there one in your stomach?!” She laughed. “No, not this time. We are going all the way to China!”

I couldn’t believe it, but from that moment, I was thrilled. I didn’t question; I didn’t wonder; I just knew. Soon I would have a baby sister! When we started the China adoption process, the wait was said to be 6 months for paperwork and 6 months waiting for a referral. God’s hand was clearly on our adoption as we finished all of our paperwork in 2 months! It was unheard of in the adoption world at the time! We were expecting to have a baby by January. Boy were we wrong. The wait slowed down. Slowly the wait went from 12 months to 18 months to 24 months and so on. We waited. And, while we waited, we prayed.

On May 1, 2007, we finally received “The Call.” We had a beautiful baby girl waiting for us in Xiushan, China! She was 7 months old and just what we had prayed for and so much more!

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Wrestling With Angels

Lady-Bug and a friend

I heard a quote from Wrestling With an Angel: A Story of Love, Disablity and the Lessons of Grace. It went something like this, “I often hear people saying that God will never give me more than I can handle. But, this is not true. God often gives us more than we can handle. Alone. He will allow trials of all kinds in order to draw us to depend on Him.” It occurs to me too that trying times by definition are difficult by the mere fact that our strength and abilities come up short. We are brought to our knees. We are forced to rest at His feet and cry out that we are totally unable to handle this…alone. Only by His strength and the Truths we rest on and in will we be made strong enough to handle the curves of life.

I am standing today as a living testimony to this truth. After falling into the deep dark pit in which I found myself after our children came home, completely overwhelmed and overcome by the circumstances, I had no personal strength to draw from. There was nothing there. Even my reserves were tapped, and it was weeks, months of prayer and pleading (wrestling with an Angel) before I began the process of standing upright and strong in Him. I”ve said it before, and you know it”s true, just as I did, but adoption is hard work, harder than I ever thought it would be.

It”s also true that His mercies are new every morning and His strength is a renewing one. It”s more than a little scary to say but, in a way, in a singular way, I can honestly say that I”ve arrived. It took a year before I was the mother I thought my children would come home to, and it”s been another 5 months before I can say that I am standing strong and I really love those kids. It”s not that I didn”t love them before, for I can honestly say that I did love them. I loved them before I knew them. I loved them the moment I met them. I chose to continue loving them, over and over I chose, when things were really tough. But, truly, I think I wasn”t capable of really loving them until now. It”s visceral now. Not just a decision or something I knew in my head. My heart is now in the game, and it”s good. Really good.

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Leslee Matthews

California native transplanted to Texas and loving it. Married to the man of my dreams for 18 years. Together, we have two homemade children fondly known as Big Fish 14 and Tuck Tuck 12 and three Ethiopian made: Lady-Bug and Twinkles, both 8 1/2 and Scout 7. Our adoption journey is miraculous. Our children came home to us in June of 2009, and, although the road has been bumpy, we wouldn”t change a thing and we are growing more and more in love everyday! You can follow their story here.

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He’s Gently Leading

Christmas 2007, Mike and I felt the clock ticking for our family. If we were going to try for a third kiddo, it was now or never. Comments that season, including one about the fact that odd numbers do not work well at amusement parks, seemed to seal the deal. We both were ready to call our family complete. Gentle 4 it would be.

January 2008 came. I was happy with our decision. Two weeks later, I had my first real lightening bolt, strike-you-down-in-your-tracks message from God. How was I going tell Mike that God was calling us to adopt? Mike would think I was nuts! God doesn

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With Thankfulness: Full Hands

It’s no secret we have a large family. Through birth and adoption, God has blessed us rather abundantly. And, it’s no secret that with a large family comes noise and chaos and a lot of demands and a general overall crazyness, lots of laughter, supporters at every turn, a hug at every corner, and never having to go through any of it alone.

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