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With Thankfulness: Happy to Be A Crazy

I like to think that I’m a pretty “Happy-Go-Lucky” kind of guy.
I mean, I like to think of myself as a “cup-1/2-full” kind of guy (unless you are drinking from it, then it is 1/2 empty).
See the good in everyone.
Look on the bright side of things.
Find the silver lining in the cloud.
You know, all that kind of good stuff.

Don’t get me wrong, I have my bad days like everyone. . . . Okay, well, maybe not EVERYONE. I have one friend Rhonda who I don’t think EVER has a bad day. Drives me NUTS! I just wanna scream. . . . It’s like, “C’mon! Can’t you just have 1 bad day?” *siiigh* Oh, and my good friend Bobby – always happy! Always. Crazy. And, everything works out for him too! He is one of those guys that if his car broke down on him on the way to church, a new Lexus would fall from the heavens with the keys in the ignition and Megan Fox in the passenger seat! Goodness, that guy bugs me too! You know what? They ALL drive me nuts! Happy people! BAH!!!

Where was I? Oh right . . . I’m happy and thankful.

Sometimes, it can be really hard to be thankfu.l . . . Honestly, I think sometimes we have to be CRAZY to be thankful.

Me: *looking at the bank account* Oh snap.
*poof!*
Bad Me: You know, this whole “adoption” thing is kinda expensive. Like . . . really freakishly expensive.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Bad Me: Dosn’t that tick you OFF?
Me: Yeah, kinda.
Bad Me: Kinda?! There are 147 MILLION orphans in the world – all you want to do is help 1, and someone wants to charge you thousands of dollars!
Me: Hey, you know what? That is crazy!
Bad Me: That’s right! It’s CRAZY!
Me: They shouldn’t do that! Thats CRAZY! Stupid regulations!
*poof!*
Good Me: Maybe you should be thankful instead of getting all upset.
Me: What? Be thankful for what?! That this is going to cost us a LOT of money, so I have to work TONNES(1) of overtime to pay for it all?!
Good Me: You could be thankful that you HAVE a job where you can work the over time to help pay for the adoption. Or, you could just be thankful that you have a job at all.
Me: Okay, fine. I’m thankful that I have a job. But, I’m still upset that this is SO HARD to adopt when these children need homes.
Good Me: Why don’t you be thankful that you are adopting a beautiful child into your family and not focus on the paper work.
Me: Okay . . . fine. So, I’m thankful that I’ve got a job. I’m thankful that I am able to adopt a child. But, but . . . do you remember what the last adoption was like! I mean, you weren’t the one getting yelled at in Mandarin everyday!
Good Me: Why don’t you just be thankful that your beautiful daughter will even talk to you.
Me: Grrrrr . . . fine. I’ll be thankful for the job, for being able to pay for the adoption, for adding to the family, even for my daughter yelling at me.
Good Me: See! Don’t you feel better now.
Me: You know what . . . no. This is still hard! And, I haven’t even gotten into the all the other krump(2) we’ve gotta work though for our “Special Needs” now.
Good Me: I know. Hey, you should ask God how hard adoption was for Him. But, there are some other things you can be thankful for.
Me: Oh yeah, like what?
Good Me: Well, women with poor taste in men. Without that, you would still be a bachelor!
Me: You know, for a “good conscience,” sometimes you can be really mean.
Good Me: And, you should be . . .
Me: Thankful for that too?
Good Me: My work here is done.
*poof!*

There are always two choices when life throws something unpleasant at you.
You can get mad, rage against the injustice* in life and hold onto bitterness, anger, resentment, etc.
Or, you can be one of the crazies. And, goodness knows, there is enough krump in the adoption process to make anyone jaded (even the crazies like Bobby and Rhonda).

As for me, I’m happy to be a crazy. I want to focus on what God has given me and simply walk steadfastly though the trials of life, holding onto love, joy, peace, goodness, faith . . . and, yes, . . . even holding onto crazy, er, thankfullness.

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(1) Totally not a made-up word, simply the proper spelling of TON – welcome to Canada, eh!

(2) Totally a made-up word, based loosely off CRUMP (which means “to explode heavily”), except rooted in a metaphorical term for issues which seem to “explode heavily” into your life, if you want them or not.

* There is definitely a time to rage against the injustices of this world. But, it probably is going to be a time that you won’t like and for something which you don’t want to do.

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Adrian Berzenji

Adrian and Roberta have been married for over 13 years. They

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With Thankfulness: Give Thanks

Many families burdened by the command of Jesus to care for orphans often will ask the Lord, “What is your will for us?” Should we sponsor an orphan? Should we go to Haiti and volunteer in an orphanage over spring break? Should we foster here in the states? Should we adopt from overseas?

For those who feel it’s God

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Adopting Older Children – What I Wish I Had Known

I have been doing a lot of thinking about our time in Ethiopia just over a year ago when we went to pick up our adopted son Elijah, who was 7 at the time, and our adopted daughter Sedaya, who was 4 at the time. In a lot of ways, things did not go very well. Our adoption agency had gone bankrupt, so we were traveling 4 months sooner than we had planned and were not prepared emotionally, financially, or in a practical sense. Due to the circumstances, my husband Mark was there for a week before I arrived, and he had a really hard time communicating with the kids, leaving all three of them frustrated. I was able to pick up Amharic (the language they spoke) much easier than Mark was, so that did help. But, I still did not know enough of the language to be able to really put the kids

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Dad’s Home

I always know when Steve is home…no matter where I am, Aiden comes yelling though the house “Mom, Dad’s Home!!!”

Many times, I just say “Yes, baby, Daddy is home.” Usually, Steve has brought home groceries of some sort, and 3 year old Aiden loves to help bring in the bags…still yelling to anyone who missed the 1st announcement that daddy was home.

However, occasionally, when I hear him yell this happy news, like today,…

my own emotions get the best of me. The “mommy” in me feels sad for those years that he didn’t have a daddy (or any family). It is difficult to explain. I guess the best way to explain it is a mourning for what my child missed those first months or years of their lives. Yes, of course, I am happy for what they have now, a home, a family.

However, they are MY children. And, just like I would feel for my birth children, I feel a sadness, and a thankfulness, for what they have come through. Sometimes, I find myself saying to my newest little son, as he snuggles into my chest to rest and receive love, “It’s nice to have a mommy, isn’t it?” I’m not thinking how wonderful I am or anything, I am feeling emotions of gratefulness that he has a mommy to snuggle him, because I love him so much and for 7 months he didn’t have a mommy. When Kiana first came home from China, my parents came right away to meet their newest granddaughter. As I watched them loving on her, I had some of those same feelings. “She now has a Dandy and Gommy…a few days ago, she had no one!” My birth children always had all of these blessings and people that loved them, but my children home through adoption did not. Their stories started before we brought them home. And, often those stories included loneliness, hunger, and fear.

Of course we, as mothers, should and we do help our children heal from those early pains, but I guess I am realizing that we as the mothers should also realize and help our mother’s hearts heal because we love them, and WE HURT also for what they have come through.

So, when my little man yells with all the happiness that his 3-year-old body can hold that daddy is home, and I feel that familiar sadness and thankfulness, mourning and joy…I am going to look into his eyes and say “Yes, baby, Your daddy is home.”

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Shonni Hassoldt

Steve and Shonni love living in beautiful Colorado, where they enjoy a busy and fun life with their family. Parents to 11 children, some of their passions are the Bible, family, photography, orphan ministry, home education, and herbs. You can read more about their family and their daily life–and their journey to adopting a little boy from China–on their personal blog.

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Did They Ever Notice?

Miss A has been with us for about 4 months now. As time goes on, as I watch her playing and interacting, I find myself wondering, did they ever notice?

I mean, she spent 7.5 months in an orphanage being cared for by nannies. It was, as far as I can tell, a really good orphanage. We visited it and got a tour, and it was lovely–for an orphanage. It was clean and bright, and the directors and nannies were cheerful and welcoming and friendly. But, it was still an orphanage. She was still cared for by nannies. And that makes me wonder, did they ever notice?

Miss A likes to feel a blanket or burp cloth with her fingers as she drinks her bottle. Propped up in the crook of my leg so we can see each other face to face, her hands are in constant motion. Seeking out and then rubbing and feeling the piece of cloth. Did they ever notice this?

As her eyelids get droopier and droopier drinking her bottle, she will usually begin lifting the cloth to her face. Covering her eyes, then dropping it down, then bring it back up to her face. She will grab a corner and rub the side of her face as her eyelids close. Did they ever notice?

Should she finish the bottle before drifting off to sleep, she has been known to almost nibble on the fuzzy side of her blankie to fall asleep. Did they ever notice? And, if so, did they ever give her a soft cloth to feel as she drank her bottle?

We first noticed this in China. She would hold her shirt or my shirt as she drank her bottle. Then she would grab her bib or burpcloth. So, when we came home, I got out a blankie square with a silky side and a furry side. She loves it. Peeking in at her at night we will find her laying on it like a pillow. And, it sometimes makes me sad. Sad because I wonder what she did at night when she was (presumably) all alone in her bed with nothing to grasp or cuddle or snuggle.

In all likelihood, given what I know about orphanages, given that the nannies (caring though they be) are taking care of many children at a time, I know that they probably didn’t notice this quirk of Miss A. They didn’t have time to notice. They couldn’t notice.

Instead they had to focus on taking care of each child’s basic needs. Feeding, changing diapers, and sleeping. Straight forward caretaking. Judging from Miss A, they seem to have done a fantastic job of caring for her basic needs while in the orphanage. On Gotcha Day she was a well-fed, healthy, happy, clean, chubby cleft baby who had already been given her first surgery. Her basic needs were well met.

But, just getting your basic needs met isn’t what we were designed for. God created us to know Him and to be intimately known. And He sets the example for us–He knows His children intimately. He knows how many hairs we have on our head. He knows our deepest fears and struggles. He knows our gifts and talents. He knows what makes us laugh. He knows how we laugh. He knows our heart and soul and mind and spirit, for He created us. He notices it all.

There is so much more to be had than to just have your basic needs met. So, God places children in families with parents who, if they are intent on doing it, will know those children intimately. Through relationships and time and noticing we get to know one another intimately. Think of your closest friends, your spouses, your family. What makes those relationships so valuable is that each of those people knows you intimately. They can “read you like a book.” They know your quirks and your looks and your fears and your joys. And, isn’t that a comfort–to be known intimately?

This is what has brought me so much joy from being a mother. To spend every day with my daughters has given me the opportunity to know my girls intimately. Knowing that Miss E will probably need extra reassurance when she hears a loud car go roaring down our street. Knowing that Miss A likes to crawl around with a block in each hand. Noticing and knowing the little things, the looks, the cries, the giggles, the quirks. I love knowing–really knowing–my girls.

So, as I watch Miss A, as I study her expressions and movements and quirks, it makes me sad to realize that they probably couldn’t notice them. She had great basic care for the first 7.5 months of her life. And, for that, I am forever grateful. But, she didn’t have the care of a Mommy and Daddy. She didn’t have someone who took notice of how much she liked soft blankies and, in turn, made them available to her. She didn’t have someone who knew her intimately.

Now, she does.

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Stephanie

Stephanie has been married to Matthew for over 5 years. She

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They Never Asked for a Reassignment

Noah.

Assignment: Construct an Ark, endure ridicule and mocking for 100+ years, live in a boat with animals, survive the flood {the first and last of its kind}.

Moses.

Assignment: Lead a people who will ultimately grumble/complain, worship idols, murder, sacrifice their children to the fire, become harlots, and despise your leadership.

David.

Assignment: Become king–but first, endure threats on your life, hide in caves, play instruments for a delusional man, witness the death of your best friend.

Jeremiah.

Assignment: As a prophet, speak the word of God to a people living in sin and rebelliousness, threats on your life, anguish and grief.

Elijah.

Assignment: A prophet who will make his home by a brook, trust in a bird to bring him food, live through a drought, call fire from heaven, raise the dead, flee a wicked woman, and witness a fire consume 50 men.

Ezekiel.

Assignment: A prophet and priest who will speak destruction, condemnation and judgement, witness death and the loss of your wife.

John the Baptist.

Assignment: Preacher of repentance. Roamed the desert, wore camels hair, ate honey and locust.

Paul.

Assignment: Preacher of the good news. Promised he would suffer many things for the sake of the gospel, shipwrecked, imprisoned, sick, destitute {among many other hardships}.

And what more shall I say? For time would tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jepthah and Samuel and the prophets–who through faith conquered kingdoms, obtained promises, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Woman received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated. . . .

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Focus on (a few) Fundraising Families 3

These few featured families are all families whose buttons for fundraising are featured on our site. Please read about them and consider supporting their efforts as they pursue God’s call for their families.

Robert & Robin

Robin's family

We are Robert and Robin. We have been blessed with a biological son Nick (13) and three beautiful daughters, Mikayla (15) , Lauren (5) , & Mia Hope (4). Our girls were adopted from China. We are currently on a journey of love to bring home Liliana (4), our