Adopting Older Children – What I Wish I Had Known

I have been doing a lot of thinking about our time in Ethiopia just over a year ago when we went to pick up our adopted son Elijah, who was 7 at the time, and our adopted daughter Sedaya, who was 4 at the time. In a lot of ways, things did not go very well. Our adoption agency had gone bankrupt, so we were traveling 4 months sooner than we had planned and were not prepared emotionally, financially, or in a practical sense. Due to the circumstances, my husband Mark was there for a week before I arrived, and he had a really hard time communicating with the kids, leaving all three of them frustrated. I was able to pick up Amharic (the language they spoke) much easier than Mark was, so that did help. But, I still did not know enough of the language to be able to really put the kids

5 Replies to “Adopting Older Children – What I Wish I Had Known”

  1. I could have written every word! Exactly what has been on my heart. We adopted a 5 year old from China last year and had very similar experiences. It is a beautiful thing to see these children emerge. We just signed up to do it again, another 5 year old!

  2. We are about one month away from traveling to China to adopt our 9-year-old daughter, Shaling. I’m so happy that another adoptive family posted a link to this in one of my social groups. You brought me to tears with your vivid desciptions and explanations. Your advice is so poignant and the timing is perfect for me.

    Thank you!

  3. Started reading your blog after my wife walked away from the computer for a minute. Every suggestion you make is dead on. It was encouraging to know we are not the only ones going through the same ordeals. Thanks.

  4. We have adopted 2 older children and are paperchasing a third, and I still had not been able to put some of this into perspective. Thank you. Beth L.

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