Care Kits for Caregivers

When we go, we go with full hands. Giving gifts isn’t all we are about as we care for caregivers in orphanages, but it really does matter because it communicates that they matter…and they really really do. We want our next trip to be no different as our team heads East to a small orphanage in 4 weeks. And, we need your help to do it.

We want to give each nanny there what we’re calling a Care Kit. In a custom designed, expertly handmade fabric bag, each Care Kit comes with a sugar scrub to care for tired hands, a quick-dry nail polish to remind the wearer how beautiful she is, and a sweet smelling lotion to keep her hands soft at the end of a long day. But, what makes the Care Kits most impactful is that the first time they will be used will be with us as we sit across from each nanny with a tub of hot water before us, and we wash her hands.

We are inviting you—asking you—to be a part of this with us by becoming a Care Kit sponsor for $25, covering the cost to care for one who cares for many. We want every single one of the women who give of themselves everyday to receive this gift. Help us make sure that happens.

To become a sponsor, click on Donate select “orphan care efforts” from the drop down menu of options. You can add “Care Kit Sponsorship” in the notes field.

We can’t wait to have you join us in this.

Together Called 2020 {great expectation}

Since the start, God has used our annual marriage retreat Together Called in remarkable ways that only He can do to meet each one of us right where we are. After 8 years of this thing, we are no longer surprised by it; we come with expectation of it.

Together Called may still be 7 months away, but our leadership team is already filled with great expectation for every husband and wife who will join us there as well as for ourselves. Of course we are. We trust you will be too when you hear about who is joining us this time as our keynote speaker and our worship leaders.

We have been longtime fans of our keynote speaker Curt Thompson. Curt Thompson, M.D., is a psychiatrist in private practice in Falls Church, Virginia, and the author of two of our favorite books, The Soul of Shame and Anatomy of the Soul. With an expertise in integrating psychiatry, how we are wired, and spiritual formation, Curt often speaks with the desire to provide opportunities to reflect on, understand, and experience their faith in fresh, trustworthy ways. Leaders in the adoption community have recognized how much he has to offer families with children who have had hard starts and caregivers who may have come from hard starts themselves. He has taught and served as a resource for foster and adoptive families through organizations such as CAFO, Empowered to Connect, Tapestry, Show Hope, and the National Council for Adoption. In addition to all his professional work, Curt serves as an elder at Washington Community Fellowship, a Mennonite church in Washington, DC. He and his wife Phyllis, who we are delighted to have join us with him, are the parents of two grown children.

We’ve also been fans of our worship leaders Ross and Staci King since they joined us at Together Called 2016. Ross and Staci have been married since 1998 and have been making music together even longer than that. They met in 1997 when they were both a part of the Breakaway Ministries worship team at Texas A&M, quickly fell in love, and sealed the deal. In the 20-plus years they’ve been together, they planted a church, adopted 4 kids, traveled the country leading worship and doing concerts, and have had plenty of adventures. They currently live just south of Nashville, TN where Staci homeschools their children and Ross continues his career writing songs, producing music in his studio, and leading worship. They feel together called to help regular people have honest conversations about real things. And, since they still love singing together and do so as often as they can, we are thrilled to have them back for their third Together Called.

Now aren’t you filled with great expectation too?

Registration for Together Called 2020 will open in early October. Make sure you join our mailing list to be reminded of it. But, we need corporate and/or personal sponsors in place to make it happen. If you own a business and are interested in caring for caregivers with us or want to be a part of supporting foster care and adoption by supporting the moms and dads in it, email us. We’d love to tell you more about why we need you and what sponsorship looks like.

Where good things come and go

We like good books. And, there are a lot of them out there for grown ups and for children, books that don’t just educate but books that say in one way or another that we matter to each other and offer ways to practice that mattering. 

When we found Meek and Brittany and their shop,  Redirected Wood Co., we knew they were the right people to help us help others by designing and building something special so that we could share some of those good books with our people and encourage them to share too. 

This week, after a long time of idea sharing and putting heads together, we now a little free library outside our office. We’ve stocked it with books for foster and adoptive families that remind us of the importance of relationship and help us build healthy ones. We’re excited to have our first contributions to the library leave with families. (We may be a little too excited to see who our first taker will be!). And, we look forward to seeing what new titles appear in there as friends add books to share with other families. Sharing is so fun. 

Make sure you check out Redirected Wood Co. Brittany and Meek are skilled and creative, using sustainably sourced and reclaimed materials to build remarkable custom pieces like live edge tables and custom cabinets. They have big hearts and dreams to use their business to provide opportunity for kids aging out of foster care to not only learn a trade to be able to successfully earn a living but be redirected in the context of relationship as they learn that they really do matter and can create and do beautiful things. 

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood {coming 11.22}


On November 22nd, a film we’ve been long waiting for, a movie billed as a “timely story of kindness triumphing over cynicism” arrives.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, starring Tom Hanks as the hero Mr. Rogers, is a true story of friendship–Fred’s friendship with Esquire journalist Tom Junod (called Lloyd Vogel in the film). In 1998, Tom was given the assignment of writing a profile of Mr. Rogers for a special magazine issue on American heroes. With a bit of an edge and a reputation for controversy, Tom wasn’t sure it would be the best fit. Not surprising, what evolved was an unlikely yet entirely unsurprising friendship between them. As Junod later said, “Once I sort of got in his sights, I think he was looking to minister to me.” This new movie tells the story.

 

It’s no secret that we’re big Fred Rogers fans around here. We’re marking our calendars now.

Introducing Sparrow Family Services

We are a team eager to go deeper in how we serve families. As of today, we are doing that in a big way. Today marks the start of Sparrow Family Services, specialized child and family therapeutic services for foster and adoptive families provided by our cofounder and codirector Kelly Raudenbush and supported by our team.

Kelly has practiced at the Attachment & Bonding Center of PA for the past 4 years with Cheryl Nitz, ACSW, LCSW, well known for her expertise in trauma and attachment and service to families and professionals from all over the country. We are excited to now have Kelly bring together her leadership skills and experience with her clinical practice and experience to continue to serve families in significant ways through The Sparrow Fund.

Please click HERE to read more about the vision of Sparrow Family Services and HERE to read answers to what we anticipate to be the most frequently asked questions about our new services.

We look forward to caring for caregivers in deeper and deeper ways!

Now serving families adopting domestically too

Families adopting internationally aren’t the only ones who need a little extra support like what we offer through our Sparrow Services grants. We realize that families adopting children here in the United States either privately or through foster care/social services could benefit from what have to offer too. The support for them may look a little different, but that’s what our support is about–meeting each family where they are and customizing what support we give based on their needs.

As of July 1st when our Sparrow Services grant application window opens again, we are encouraging families adopting internationally or domestically to apply. We can’t wait to see who we get to serve next.

Wanna learn more about what a Sparrow Services grant includes and how to apply? Click HERE to learn more.

After Together Called 2019

How do you measure the success of an event? We’re not sure.

But, what we are sure of is this.

Laughter heals so many hurts.


Being together in safety crushes feelings of isolation and helps us to know we’re not alone.



And, closeness with the one who is exclusively our own increases our capacity for pretty much everything.


When asked to share one thing they would not changed from Together Called 2019 as we dream towards Together Called 2020, here’s how a few couples responded:

All of it? 😉 My biggest take-away from our first time at Together Called was that this is an incredible community of humble servants. The overall atmosphere, including all of our interactions with everyone we met, had this general sense of humility, open, and honest conversation, and a desire to always be learning and growing in an effort to better serve God through serving our families.

We came in exhausted from “the battle.” We left so refreshed.

There is something about this event that feels so special and like a real retreat not just a conference. The heart behind Together Called is so evident.

We don’t know how best to measure the success of an event, but we truly believe that Together Called 2019 was one.

Together Called 2020 is already booked for March 13th-15th. Put the dates on your calendars now. We’d love to have you join us there.

Sneak Peek at Together Called 2019 Breakout Sessions

Only a couple more weeks! Here’s a sneak peek at what we have planned in addition to hearing from Peter Greer of HOPE International and Ross and Staci King.

Preconference Session Friday Afternoon: Better Together

Parenting vulnerable children can often bring relationship problems to the surface. We can blame those issues on our kids, or we can recognize that we need to work through our histories while growing in relationship with our spouse. In this workshop, we will look at the covenant of marriage that God designed, what we bring to the relationship, and why we might be struggling to stay connected spiritually, emotionally, and physically to our spouse. We will discuss how we can collaborate in our parenting, communicate with each other effectively, and address conflict as we parent kids with a trauma history. We’ll be better together when we are living in harmony and headed in the same direction.

About the speakers:
Ryan and Kayla North are experts on childhood trauma and its impact on adults and children. Personally, they spent 10 years as resource parents over which time they cared for 30 different children and adopted 4 who joined their 2 bio kids. They are both TBRI trained practitioners and served as Lead Trainers for Empowered to Connect. They currently lead Tapestry Family Ministry, a nonprofit in Dallas, TX that supports and equips churches and families with tools and resources to wrap around and bring hope and healing to adoptive and foster parents, children, and their families. You can hear them on The Empowered Parent Podcast and read their writing on Empowered to Connect, the Today Show Parenting team, and at One Big Happy Home.

Saturday Afternoon Breakout Sessions:

Holy Devotions: Notes to my Brothers and Sisters

We can approach our relationship with God in a way that looks a lot like how we approach our relationships with the people around us. We know it’s important and wonder if we are doing all we should. We want a how-to manual so we can tick the box and know we did enough. We want to stock our shelves with tools to help us because we need it. Maybe we mistake hard work or service for deep connection. In this session, Kelly will share parts of her own spiritual journey and how she moved forward from devotions motivated by a desire for self-improvement to dynamic times of connection with God that overflow into her connection with others. Come ready to learn and practice a way to engage with God through His word using your head and your heart.
About the speaker:
Kelly Raudenbush, MA cofounded The Sparrow Fund with her husband Mark in 2011. She also is a therapist at the Attachment & Bonding Center of PA specializing in coming alongside foster and adoptive families. Kelly has a particular interest in (a) engaging and empowering parents who are struggling in their attachment to their children, (b) helping parents walk with their children as they process their hard stories, (c) encouraging couples in their pursuit of each other and unity in parenting, and (d) empowering orphanage staff in China to foster connection with children and each other. Mark and Kelly have been married for 20 years this year and have four children, one of whom joined their family through adoption from China as a toddler in 2010. You may want to check out her Instagram where she shares her daily notes to her daughter which are a part of her relational connection both with her daughter and God.

Let’s Start Now: Cultivating a Relationship That Prepares You for Adult Relationships With Your Kids

Do you wonder how you are going to get through the teen years? Can you imagine enjoying your children as adults? Join Jeff and Cheryl in this session as they share their own experiences–successes, failures, and lessons learned as they transitioned their four children to adulthood–as well as a mindset and practical tools to help set the stage today for thriving relationships with your children as they grow into adulthood (however old your children are now).
About the speakers:
Jeff and Cheryl Nitz bring both professional and personal experience as they offer insights, challenges, and encouragement to families whom God has brought together through adoption. Jeff is the Chief Operating Office at Patrick Henry Family Services in Virginia and the former Sr. Vice President of Adoption & Family Services for Bethany Christian Services. Cheryl is an Associate Professor at Liberty University as well as the Founder and Director of the Attachment & Bonding Center of PA, specializing in working with families impacted by adoption, trauma, and attachment challenges. But, Jeff and Cheryl often say their best education has come from being parents to their four kids (two of whom came to the family through adoption) and grandparents to four. Most importantly, Jeff and Cheryl are presenting as fellow sojourners—sharing with other adoptive parents the joys and challenges and lessons learned and deeply committed to fostering a fun, growing, supportive marriage in the midst of chaos.

Nurturing Care

The primary casualty of trauma is the brain. Every other negative outcome is because our brains have been impacted by abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), neglect (physical, emotional), and other adverse experiences. These experiences cause the brain to get miswired, and it is only through nurturing care, patience, and the presence of a caring, available caregiver that we can change the wiring of the brain and experience profound levels of healing. In this breakout session, Ryan and Kayla North will show parents how to incorporate fun activities that build trust such as feeding, role play, and games into a family nurture group in order to foster better connection and begin to rewire the brain for healing.
About the speakers:
Ryan and Kayla North are experts on childhood trauma and its impact on adults and children. Personally, they spent 10 years as resource parents over which time they cared for 30 different children and adopted 4 who joined their 2 bio kids. They are both TBRI trained practitioners and served as Lead Trainers for Empowered to Connect. They currently lead Tapestry Family Ministry, a nonprofit in Dallas, TX that supports and equips churches and families with tools and resources to wrap around and bring hope and healing to adoptive and foster parents, children, and their families. You can hear them on The Empowered Parent Podcast and read their writing on Empowered to Connect, the Today Show Parenting team, and at One Big Happy Home.

Sensory Processing: What You as Parents Need to Know

We have 8 senses to learn and grow. You may know the “Big 5”–taste, smell, hearing, touch, and sight. But, we also have proprioception, vestibular, and interoception senses to make sense of our own bodies and the world we live in. All children can have challenges processing the breadth of messages they take in through those 8 senses. And, it can be very hard for us as parents to differentiate what is a behavioral issue and what is a sensory processing issue. In this session, Jamie will teach us how to understand our sensory systems, how to integrate sensory rich activities into everyday life in a way that works for your family, and how trauma may impact all of it.
About the speaker:
Jamie Wilkins is an accomplished Occupational Therapist specializing in pediatric care across multiple settings. Her clinical expertise is focused on children and adolescents with autism and sensory integration. She loves to share knowledge to her community and teach other therapists in classroom settings nationally. She earned her Master’s degree in Occupational Therapy from West Virginia University. She currently lives in Texas with her husband, 3 children, and black lab.

Teaching Our Kids About Sex…Without Passing Out

When it comes to teaching your kids, whether biological, adopted, or fostered about sex, there is no one more qualified than you. That’s right–you! But, most of us feel ill-equipped, awkward, maybe even terrified. The voices in our head ask, “When? Where? How?” And we beg, “Oh please, Jesus, may this cup pass from us?” In this breakout, together, we will explore the when, where, and how, which will equip us to move through the awkward and empower us to have courageous conversations with our kids . . . without passing out. Course requirements: An open heart and a sense of humor.
About the speaker:
Carolyn Ruch is an author, speaker, child advocate, and founder of the Rise and Shine Movement. But, her role as mother to seven children (three biological, one adopted, and three foster) is where she’s had her most joyous successes and her most painful failures. Carolyn enjoys serving as God calls from 30 years of parenting and over a decade of prevention training. She joins parents in the trenches as she seeks to equip and empower parents to protect and guard their children.

Growing the Giving on Giving Tuesday 2018

Big dreams and plans call for big goals. Our team put heads and hearts together and set a funding goal of $20,000 this Giving Tuesday with one-third going to Sparrow Services grants, one-third going to training, and one-third going to operating costs.

Seven special donors put their hearts together too and decided to open their pockets up wide to help us get there. These donors want to grow the giving by working together to match every dollar donated to The Sparrow Fund up to $10,000. What that means is that your Giving Tuesday donation will be multiplied right from the start, do twice the good, have double the impact!

We also want to give to you. We aren’t trying to convince you to give to us or pay you back in some way for donating. We just want you to know how grateful we are for you, the people who help us keep helping. And, very simply put, we love giving.

Our token of thanks for every Giving Tuesday giver of $50 or more

Your Giving Tuesday donation of $50 or more will be matched dollar-for-dollar and we’ll send you a printable set of Advent Story Cards created by the women behind Color + Kindness and Gather & Grow. These 25 cards will help you engage your little ones in a meaningful and manageable Christmas countdown, sharing big Bible moments that tell God’s story of why and how Jesus came on the very first Christmas.

Our token of thanks for every Giving Tuesday giver of $100 or more

Your Giving Tuesday donation of $100 or more will be matched dollar-for-dollar and we’ll send you one of our favorite things–a 2019 calendar created by our friend Rachel at Minipress with a hand-lettered Bible verse for every month. At the end of the year, trim each page for 12 6×6 art prints of Hebrews 11:1, Psalm 136:1b, Micah 6:8, Philippians 1:21, Joshua 1:9, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Psalm 37:4, Romans 8:37, Proverbs 3:5, Esther 4:14, Isaiah 43:1, and Proverbs 31:25.

Giving Tuesday is not until…well, Tuesday…but it’s not too early to get in on the goodness. Eat turkey. Eat leftover turkey. And, give whenever you want to give by clicking HERE and selecting “Giving Tuesday” in the dropdown list.

UPDATE

Click HERE to see what happened on Giving Tuesday 2018!

Books for your bookshelf

We’re happy to have this new title on The Sparrow Fund’s shelves. In sing songy rhyme, God Made Me and You starts in a Bible-class classroom in Grace Christian School where teasing leads to tears. With crisp and bright illustrations, the book walks through how the teacher explains a diverse creation that all came together with the crown jewel of God’s hand–man and woman. Differences are magnified and celebrated with word (“what some call ethnicity and others call race, we should celebrate as a gift of God’s grace.”) and illustrations that include what looks to be a transracial couple with the man in a wheelchair, a child with a facial birthmark, one with dark glasses seemingly blind, a child with hearing aids and braces on teeth and on legs. The author explains that because of the “presence of sin, people hate for silly things like color of skin.”

The author doesn’t leave us there. He explains that God already had a solution in mind and sent Jesus to die for the sins of mankind, a solution that means that one day we’ll “no longer view our distinctions as odd, but rather, more reasons to give praise to God.”

Of note:

  • The child teased in the beginning didn’t want to speak up when the teacher asks him why he’s crying, so a classmate gives the teacher the lowdown. This could be used as an opportunity to talk with your kids about how they respond to helpers when they have big feelings.
  • When the teacher hears what happens, the first thing she does is tell the two boys who teased to ask for forgiveness. Then, she reminds the students of the classroom rules and tells them it’s a privilege to attend that school and that they will be expelled if they cannot keep the rule to respect all God’s creatures. We aren’t fans of enforcing asking for forgiveness before inviting some reconciliation, nor are we fans of threatening to send children away if they cannot keep the rules. Use her response as an opportunity to talk about what she may have been feeling and why she may have responded the way she did.
  • At the end of the book, the author included a full spread entitled “Six Ways to Help Your Child Appreciate God’s Design for Ethnic Diversity.” This spread alone is worthwhile. We love his list and the way he explains each point.

Who says board books are only for babies? This one called Wiggles is good for kids right up to middle school and maybe beyond that. With a manageable size and strong pages that have die-cut out tracks throughout, we have found this title a neat one to use with a child and a parent in the context of attachment work. A parent can hold one side and a child the other. They can each take their own finger and trace the track on their page as the words direct (fast, slow, hip hopping, etc.). Our favorite part may be when the finger on the left meets the finger coming from the right and they get to kiss in the middle. It invites connection and creativity between parent and child (can you try it with child guiding mama’s hands? how about child guiding one hand of Mom and one hand of Dad?). And, you know, we’re all for tools that invites smiling and fun.


Emma’s Yucky Brother isn’t a new title, but it’s one we’re glad to have recently added to our shelf. It tells the story of Emma and her expectations of becoming a big sister to 4-year-old Max who her family is adopting. She’s sure he won’t be a pest like some little brothers are and that he’ll be little and sweet. She’s surprised when he’s bigger than he looked in his picture, when he doesn’t smile so much, when he calls her cookies yucky, when he doesn’t acknowledge a gift she gave him which she bought with her own money, and when he wants to play with other kids more than her. Her understanding and heart for him grows when she sees him grieving for his foster mom, and she decides she’s in (“Max sure is a pest, but he is the best pest ever.”). But being in doesn’t mean it’s easy. He calls her yucky and says he doesn’t need a sister. She’s mad–of course, she’s mad. But, her heart grows when she finds him crying under his bed. But, she gets mad again when he breaks her special doll, and she tells him to get lost. And, he does. Her heart grows again when she finds him crying again, and she tells him to ask her for help next time he breaks something, “that’s what sisters are for.” We love this book for normalizing all the big feelings that can come with older child adoption for children already in the home and for helping the whole family understand how sad can look like mad and how we can show love even when it’s hard.

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