We can practice gratitude and giving anywhere. And, maybe, home is the best place to be to practice.
Use our calendar to encourage your own gratitude and giving right now. Do each thing as designated each day, or choose ones to do in whatever order you want. There aren’t rules, just ideas to get you started.
When we arrived at the resort Thursday, March 12th, one day before the masses would arrive, things were just starting to heat up. We were paying attention to it all——everyone was——but we were within the state guidelines for group gatherings (which at the time encouraged a limit of 250 people). Even still, we put extra safeguards in place for everyone’s comfort; we wanted to make sure people were safe and felt safe. A few attending couples cancelled, but not many, and all our speakers were still on board. Then, Friday morning, things escalated fast. In moments, we went from arranging raffles and alphabetizing name tags to an emergency board meeting in a storage closet where we made the hard decision to cancel. We knew that would mean a lot of disappointed people—many of whom were already en route from 15 different states; we cried over that. But, we knew the decision had to be made, and it has been confirmed over and over again since.
We are together called to live out our mission to care for caregivers no matter the cost. And, the people we are together called to serve are infinitely more important than any program we work so hard to offer.
Please take some time to click over to our Facebook group to admire the artwork and applaud the artists who would have been featured at an art show of sorts at Together Called 2020. After we had set them all up, we took them all down, then set them up once again so that we could take pictures of them. We wanted each artist to see them, and we wanted you to see them too.
Here’s a sneak peek at what we have planned in addition to hearing from Curt Thompson and Ross and Staci King.
Parenting any child can be stressful, but parenting children with special emotional needs can tax one’s emotional resources to the limit—and beyond. Even still, the deepest desire for most parents is to feel deeply connected with their child, whatever behavior or needs may exist. Theraplay was developed out of attachment-based methods for parent-child play and emotional engagement to meet that desire. Used in schools, therapy centers, and family therapy programs, Theraplay can bring fun and connection to family relationships through social connection play and practicing the principles of Structure, Engagement, Nurture, and Challenge with kids of varied ages and development. At this preconference workshop, you will be guided through games, practice exercises, and reflection moments designed to build your repertoire of parent-child connection skills…and maybe even parent-parent while we’re at it!
About the speakers:
Anne M. Coleman, PhD, & Rand Coleman, PhD, are the parents of two adopted children and one birth child. While living in Green Bay, WI, they provided emergency foster care to over 30 children in need. They eventually transitioned into long-term foster care, adopting a sibling pair who had emotional and attachment needs. Through the process, they learned and developed parenting strategies specific to youth with a history of trauma and having serious behavioral difficulty. Theraplay was integrated into their daily approach. Originally trained as a neuroscientist, Anne taught science courses for various programs, eventually becoming Chair of the Science Department at Cabrini University. While there, she conducted and published research on educational methods and on attachment therapy. She is now an Associate Dean at Rosemont College. Trained as a neuropsychologist, Rand has worked in both residential care and private practice. Clinical work in residential care focused on care for youth with Autism, while clinical work in private practice has been a combination of child evaluation and attachment-based therapy. Currently, he works at Cornerstone Therapy & Wellness in Malvern, PA.
Some of our kids have been through so much in their short lives. Some of our kids have only known our family their entire lives. Some of our kids have never experienced a family before ours. All of these kids have trauma. Trauma sculpts the way our kids view the world and the way their brain interacts with life events. Using a hands-on, collaborative activity, this workshop will give you insight to how our children’s brains (and ours) work and are impacted by traumatic experiences and practical ways to help all the brains in your family.
About the speakers:
Michelle Catania is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Connecticut. She holds a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Southern Connecticut State University and a bachelor’s degree in Psychology with certification in Elementary Education from Franklin Pierce University. She has expertise in brain-based disorders including ADHD, Autism, and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. She was a preschool teacher for over 15 years and has children of her own, two biologically and one through special needs adoption. She was born and raised in San Diego, California but has grown to love the seasonal changes in New England where she lives with her husband and three children. She enjoys scrapbooking, hot chocolate, and playing in the snow. And, she loves her job where she can share her passion for Christ and her love for families.
Olivia Dimmig has been a registered nurse working in public health since 2016. She has experience caring for families via the Nurse-Family Partnership home visiting program which empowers vulnerable, first-time moms to transform their lives and create better futures for themselves and their babies. And, she is the newest addition to The Sparrow Fund team! Aspects of her work that most excite her are fostering maternal-child engagement, empowerment, and resilience. She and her husband Brent live in Phoenixville, PA with their infant daughter.
Children drive each other crazy, and then they gang up on the parents—or at least it can feel that way! Put that energy and emotional intensity to good purpose through use of Theraplay principles and activities. Developed as a method of helping youth with Autism or behavioral dysregulation disorders, Theraplay has grown into one of the most used attachment-based therapy programs around the world. Easy to learn, fun, socially interactive activities can give children an experience of safety, connection, and emotional engagement with each other and with caregivers. Activities can be adapted for classrooms, family vacations, one-on-one nurture moments, and facilitating sibling connection. Come ready to practice numerous individual and group Theraplay games, insuring you take away immediately applicable skills in addition to head knowledge.
About the speakers:
Anne M. Coleman, PhD, & Rand Coleman, PhD, are the parents of two adopted children and one birth child. While living in Green Bay, WI, they provided emergency foster care to over 30 children in need. They eventually transitioned into long-term foster care, adopting a sibling pair who had emotional and attachment needs. Through the process, they learned and developed parenting strategies specific to youth with a history of trauma and having serious behavioral difficulty. Theraplay was integrated into their daily approach. Originally trained as a neuroscientist, Anne taught science courses for various programs, eventually becoming Chair of the Science Department at Cabrini University. While there, she conducted and published research on educational methods and on attachment therapy. She is now an Associate Dean at Rosemont College. Trained as a neuropsychologist, Rand has worked in both residential care and private practice. Clinical work in residential care focused on care for youth with Autism, while clinical work in private practice has been a combination of child evaluation and attachment-based therapy. Currently, he works at Cornerstone Therapy & Wellness in Malvern, PA.
Most people sign on as foster parents with an enthusiasm to care for vulnerable children. But, what about when those children are difficult to love? And–even more challenging–what about all of the other broken people in the broken system? This workshop will explore biblical encouragements, real-life experience, and practical strategies for engaging with and, ultimately, loving biological parents, social workers, judges, and other foster parents.
About the speaker:
Jamie Finn is the biological, adoptive, and foster mother of 4-6 children. When she’s not homeschooling, changing diapers, playing Pokemon, making slime, and singing “Let it Go,” she spends her time encouraging, equipping, and serving foster and adoptive parents. She is the host of the Real Mom Podcast and the author of Foster the Family Blog which is read by 100,000 people each month and has been featured in over 20 online and print publications. Jamie serves as the director of Foster the Family, a nonprofit which seeks to encourage and support foster and adoptive families, mobilize the church and community for foster care and adoption, and advocate for vulnerable children. Jamie and her middle school sweetheart and husband of 14 years, Alan, live in New Jersey with their children.
Parenting is hard. Parenting in adoption is harder. Parenting through attachment trauma can seem almost impossible. Coregulation offers a tool that parents can implement both for their own regulation as well as for their children. Come to explore both the science behind coregulation and the art of implementing coregulation. This breakout will involve experiential learning, giving you opportunity to practice techniques during the session as well as learn about specific resources that can be helpful to children of all ages.
About the speaker:
Rachel Harrison, LCPC, NCC is a therapist and owner of the practice Trauma Specialists of Maryland with two locations in Frederick, Maryland. She is also a trainer of therapists, offering training in working with adoptive families, attachment and EMDR Therapy. She is an Approved Consultant with EMDRIA, consulting on cases with therapists across the country who are doing both trauma and attachment work with clinical populations. Rachel is an adjunct faculty member of Hood College, teaching courses in the graduate Clinical Counseling program. She has worked with adoptive families for 21 years in the clinical setting but also has “real-life experience” raising 2 adopted boys of her own. Rachel has a passion for treating trauma and for improving attachment between parents and their children.
The greatest times of conflict in relationships often arise when one person’s history intersects with another person’s history. Parenting is no different. Some of the toughest moments in parenting occur when our child’s history and beliefs collide with our history, motivations, and expectations. In this breakout, the Norths will help you understand the impacts of hard places on our children and how compassion and empathy should be the appropriate responses to their expressed needs. At the same time, we will walk you through how your own histories and experiences inform how you respond to your children.Our individual histories (both ours and our children’s) inform where we are but do not have to determine how our story as a family develops together.
About the speakers:
Ryan and Kayla North are experts on childhood trauma and its impact on children and adults. They spent 10 years as resource parents over which time they cared for 30 different children and adopted 4 who joined their 2 bio kids. They are both TBRI Practitioners and served as Lead Trainers for Empowered to Connect. Kayla is the Executive Director of Tapestry, a nonprofit that supports and equips churches with the tools and resources needed to help the families they serve. They are cofounders of One Big Happy Home and, together, have developed training materials for churches, schools, and parents educating them on trauma and its impacts. You can hear them on The Empowered Parent Podcast and read their writing on Empowered to Connect and at One Big Happy Home.
SPECIAL THANKS TO GOULDEY WELDING & FABRICATIONS, THE JOY BUILDERS, MADISON ADOPTION ASSOCIATES, REECE’S RAINBOW, AND ADAM REIMERS.
As part of the new year celebration in China every year, there is a televised gala that families often watch together. This 5-minute video entitled Chopsticks debuted during that television program 6 years ago, but we just discovered it…and we love it because it depicts tradition and values and the spirit of the holiday in such an engaging and compelling way. Special focus is given to what the filmmaker Frank Chan appreciates most about his home culture—including naming what may have just become one of my favorite Chinese words. It is 相守 or in pinyin xiāng shǒu, translated in the film to mean interdependence and meaning literally keeping each other.
Other Chinese New Year links that may interest you:
Making Chinese New Year Your Own on No Hands But Ours
A Family Friendly Guide to Chinese New Year on Chinese American Family
21 Things You Didn’t Know About Chinese New Year
15 Ideas to Celebrate Chinese New Year from Nicole, TSF board member
Chinese New Year Picture Books from our friend, adoptive mom and writer Rebecca Radicchi
Overthinking Chinese New Year Books
As we close 2019 and begin 2020, we want to practice gratitude with great intention by recognizing and magnifying our top 10 for the year.
10. Giving Tuesday. We set big goals for Giving Tuesday 2019 because we have big dreams for 2020 and needed engagement and funding to get them started. We set two very specific goals: (1) engage 100 givers and (2) raise $30,000 with the help of a collaborative $15,000 match. It was a slow start to the campaign, and we wondered if our goals may have been too big. But, our people rallied and then rallied more people too. By the end of it all, 127 people together gave $32,601. With that money, we can sustain and GROW what we’re doing. In 2020, we’re going to give more to our Sparrow Services Grant families to best care for them. We’re also hoping to both grow our team and, in so doing, grow what we are able to do for children and families and invest more in our team. We’re about caring for caregivers; that means we need to care for our team well too, making sure we get the training and support we need to be best set up to do this work as we’ve been called to do.
9. Animal Assisted Play Therapy training. In 2018, we launched Project Puppy Love, our canine-assisted therapy program for foster and adopted children and their families, with Louie, a certified facility dog trained and placed through Paws and Affection. As expected, Louie has become a significant helper here who has provided lots of opportunities for comfort, connection for kids and grownups, and creative growth. In 2019, Kelly, his certified handler, enrolled in more training to become a certified associate in animal assisted play therapy so she can get better and better at recognizing and magnifying all the ways that integrating a dog into therapeutic family work can be helpful.
8. Casual Conversations. With a desire to gather people together to foster community and encourage each other, we have been hosting what we call Casual Conversations. Partnering with our friend Simi of Mazi, we invite moms and dads into our space every so often for coffee and conversation around specific subjects worth talking about as we lead our families. In 2019, we talked about helping our kids learn to respond to hard questions, connecting with teens and tweens, navigating social media, talking to our kids about sex, practicing connected parenting, and navigating holidays and family celebrations. We want to keep these gatherings going in 2020, not because we want more on our calendars but because we want more community, more connection, more each otherness. And, we believe that Casual Conversations help us get there. Our next one is right around the corner on Thursday, January 30th when we have another opportunity to talk about how to talk to our kids about sex (because it’s really that important).
7. Helping friends who wait. As we have cared for caregivers in orphanages in China, we’ve gotten to make a lot of friends, many of whom are waiting to become sons and daughters. When we can, we share about those who are waiting. On February 3, 2019, we got an email responding to a blog post we wrote sharing about one of those friends. “I would love to learn more!,” it said. A little more than 8 months later, in October 2019, that friend became the son he was hoping he’d become one day, and we all celebrated big time. While there are a number of friends who are still waiting for someone to want to learn more, we’re anticipating more big celebrations soon as these friends also become sons in 2020.
6. Community. In 2019, more than ever before, we have gotten to be a part of big things outside our normal big things. Some of our favorites from the year include a trip to Boston in June where TSF cofounder and codirector Kelly Raudenbush joined the team at Harvard Graduate School of Education as a facilitator for their special institute “Empowering and Strengthening Relationships Across Early Childhood Settings” where she counted it a privilege to grow herself along with educators from all over the world. We served more local teachers as well through two workshops at the MidAtlantic Christian School Association’s annual conference focusing on trauma and partnering with families. And, we enjoyed supporting teachers and children right where we are by going into some schools with Louie and talking about how hard experiences impact us and how relationships can help us grow and heal.
5. Together Called. In March 2019, we hosted our 7th annual marriage retreat for foster and adoptive husbands and wives. We had 106 couples there from 13 different states who together represented over 388 children—164 biological children, 224 adopted from 23 different countries, and many more children who had been or are currently being fostered for a season. Peter Greer from HOPE International spoke to encourage and challenge us as men and women, husbands and wives, and dads and moms. We are still looking back on that weekend and nodding our heads, saying, “wasn’t that great?” It doesn’t surprise us at all that Together Called 2020 filled fast and has a waiting list.
4. Teamwork. We do what we do because we are in this together; we are a team. Since we want to keep learning how to do teamwork better, in 2019, we held our first TSF board weekend retreat where we shared stories, celebrated big and small wins, wrestled with challenges, and dreamed about next steps that we can take together. And, we laughed…a lot…and that’s exactly what we wanted for that time. We grew our team in 2019 as well. In the Spring, we brought long-time volunteer Abbey Leaman onto our staff as our Development and Care Coordinator to join Mark, Kelly, and Erin. Abbey assists with Sparrow Counseling, Together Called, and other events; oversees fundraising initiatives; and keeps the entire team dreaming via her initiative and creativity.
3. Helpful appreciating.
“There must be times when you wonder what in the world you can do for a certain child or a certain family [or orphanage nanny], yet you wanted so much to be of service that little by little the answer often comes to you, and you discover the way to be that helpful appreciator which invariably makes the difference—no matter how primitive our resources may be.” – Fred Rogers
Despite continued policy challenges, we were able to still go in 2019 as we have gone before to care for caregivers in an orphanage in China as helpful appreciators, gently coming alongside and magnifying beauty and goodness. After all, they are there. It’s a privilege to say over and over again, “Look, look! What you are doing is good! It matters, and you matter.”
2. Sparrow Services Grants. They’re different, our grants. We don’t just select families from applications and write checks. We do give some financial help, but our grants include more than that to support their marriages, the whole family and children already in their home, and the attachment between kids and grownups from the start. In 2019, we brought 14 more families into the Sparrow Services program who are adopting from Bulgaria (3), India (2), China (2), South Korea (2), Djibouti, South Africa, Hungary, Columbia, and the United States–we opened Sparrow Services to include families adopting domestically in 2019! We also celebrated the homecomings of 11 children to Sparrow Services Grant families in 2019: 3 from India, 2 from Thailand, 2 from China, 2 from Bulgaria, 1 from South Korea, and 1 from Liberia (pictured here) for whom we celebrated a little extra given some big challenges that brought us all to our knees. Our application window opens once again as of January 1st, 2020 for the next cohort of families. We can’t wait to see which families will join our Sparrow family next.
1. Sparrow Counseling. In July 2019, we launched our very own specialized program to offer child and family counseling services to meet the unique needs of foster and adoptive families. We knew it would be a pretty big deal to take this on, but we trusted it was the right thing for us as an organization and for families around us. And, the decision has been confirmed over the past 6 months as children and their grownups have entered into this space and experienced each other in new ways that have changed their stories. It’s pretty miraculous really—not because of anything we do but because we get to see and experience it too. That may be the brightest highlight of all of 2019—singular moments…a young girl able to say “I’m sad” to her mom for the first time, a boy able to tell his own story without shame, a dad saying that it feels good to laugh together, a mom who can say “I’m a good mom” and really believe it…that all come together and remind us that hope is possible and that it is our calling, privilege, and joy to be hope growers and bridge builders.
Stay tuned as our Top 10 for 2020 unfolds before our very eyes. We can’t wait to live it.
Big dreams call for big goals. Our team put heads and hearts together and set a funding goal of $30,000 this Giving Tuesday with one-third going to Sparrow Services grants, one-third going to training, and one-third going to operating costs. But, more important than a funding goal is our goal to reach more, engage more.
Some of our special donors put their hearts together too and decided to open their pockets up wide to help us get there. In order to grow the giving and grow the engagement, these donors have together pledged to give a total of $15,000 if we engage 100 givers on Giving Tuesday. What that means is that no matter what amount you give, by helping us reach that number of 100 people giving on Giving Tuesday, your donation will be multiplied, potentially several times over!
We also want to give to you not because we want to convince you to give to us or pay you back in some way for donating. That negates the meaning of a gift. We just want you to know how grateful we are for you, the people who help us keep helping. And, simply put, we love giving.
Your Giving Tuesday donation of $50 or more will help us reach the goal of engaging 100 unique givers and unlock the $15,000 pledged when we do, and we’ll send you a printable set of 44 Scripture Seeds created by our friend Nicole at Color + Kindness. These 4×4 cards with lovely art and sweet words can be used by grownups and little ones alike to memorize verses from the Bible or place strategically as reminders in lunch boxes, coat pockets, and car dashboards. And, since they are printable, you can use them again and again and keep the giving going.
Your Giving Tuesday donation of $100 or more will help us reach the goal of engaging 100 unique givers and unlock the $15,000 pledged when we do, and we’ll give you the Scripture Seeds pack and send you one of our favorite things–a custom-printed journal that gives space for reflective journaling and provides a way to see themes in particular seasons of life. Since it comes packaged with instructions, you can use it yourself or give it as a gift to someone you care about.
These are the pictures of awesome.
These are women who have the awesome task of caring for little people who need caring for. Through something so simple, so basic, so ordinary, washing their hands and painting their nails, they were shown that they are extraordinary and inspiring and so very awesome.
We think the message was well received.
We believe we learn best who we are and how the world works through our experience of relationships. That’s what our orphanage efforts are all about—building relationships and seeking opportunities to magnify those already there.
Tomorrow morning, our team once again will step out of their own comfort zones and go. They’re all a bit crazy today as they cross tasks off to-do lists and hope for something supernatural to happen as they try to fit a few more things into their luggage. They’re going with full bags and full hearts. The team is offering some medical training which the orphanage administrators specifically requested. They’re also offering the workshop we’ve done in other places that our friends at the Fred Rogers Center have equipped us to do, an interactive community experience designed to encourage, enrich, and empower interactions between children and their helpers. But, most important, each member of this team is going ready to serve children in the best way we know how—through loving well those who care for them day in and day out.
The orphanage work we get to do is for every person there. We want to tell each one of them—little one and grownups alike—that they matter, that they are valuable, and that someone outside themselves is for them.
Be watching our social media posts for glimpses of it.
It’s been formally celebrated in China for over 1,000 years, though some say people celebrated it informally thousands of years before that even. Full of legends and lanterns and big full moons, it’s the second most important holiday in China behind Spring Festival, the holiday we Westerners call Chinese New Year.
As turkeys are to Thanksgiving, so mooncakes are to Mid-Autumn Festival. It’s an essential part of the celebration to make them and give them. And, this orphanage made that happen.
With one Ayi paired up with one child and aprons and chef hats on, the mooncakes were made, complete with some sort of bean paste inside and designs on top.
But, there’s something about them that wasn’t experienced in this place the way it is supposed to be. Many cookies and cakes are round; it’s true. But, there’s more to why mooncakes are round; the Mandarin word for round sounds like the Mandarin word for reunion. And, reunions are the most wonderful part of Mid-Autumn Festival. Families come together.
There were people who came to visit–a local teacher, a retired man who used “his pocket money” to bring the children gifts, others to be kind to the children. It was good. And, giving the visitors the mooncakes he made was good too. Enjoying songs and a big meal later that day with his foster family was also good.
But, it’s not family the way family should be. He’s still waiting for them. And, maybe–just maybe–next Mid-Autumn Festival can be shared in a reunion like none other, a reunion with a family who gives him their name and tells him that with them is where he belongs. That’s the wish he’s making this Mid-Autumn Festival.
Interested in learning more about this little 10-year-old chef? He is a waiting child with congenital heart disease who is currently available for adoption through Madison, a good agency which is offering a $1,000 agency grant to the family who wants to make him their son. Contact info@sparrowfund.org or Sarah at Madison to hear more about him and what is required to bring him home.