His Good and Perfect Will

“You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”
Revelation 4:11

This verse.

It’s been one of my favorites for a while. Next to this verse in my bible is written “baby – 2007”. We were two years into trying to add little ones to our family and nothing was happening. My thoughts were consumed with having a baby. Slight panic was beginning to set in. When this verse smacked me in the face, it was truly a gift from God. I clung to this verse to remind me that God was in complete control. It was easy for me to believe that everything God creates is by his will, but I could rest on the truth {even if it was a hard truth to swallow} that anything He does not create is because it was not His will.

His good and perfect will.

His good and perfect will for our family was for me to not get pregnant.

His good and perfect will for our family was for me to be the mama of two boys that are better than I could have imagined.

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My love for this verse has evolved. It’s not about a baby anymore. It’s about praising Him for the family He did create and the beautiful stories He wrote to make it happen. It’s about telling my boys that they were created for a purpose and that they exist because God willed them into being. Every part of who they are is because of our worthy God.

My family is exactly the way God intended it to be and ALL glory, honor and praise goes to Him.

_________________________________

2F4A9155Abby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a {more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it} open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012. You can read their story at Akers of Love.

Stories {Updated}

Two years ago, I wrote this post about talking with our boys about their adoption stories.  I thought I would give a little update…

I have told both of our boys thier adoption stories since they were newborns in my arms.  It’s not easy to put into words the miraculous and complicated way God brought them into our lives, but I’ve always felt like it was good practice for me even if they have no clue what I’m saying.  The way they became part of our family is precious and I don’t ever want to forget those stories that made me a mama.

Right now, it’s pretty much a one-sided conversation.  My oldest is starting to make some straight-forward connections like…

“L is my birthmommy.”

“I grew in her tummy”

“She picked you and daddy to be my parents.”

UPDATE:  My oldest now will ask questions out of the blue like, “Is J (his birthmom’s son) my real brother?”  Questions like this usually throw me for a loop and I shoot up a prayer asking God to give me the right words that will honor our family and his first family.  Then sometimes, I shoot up a prayer asking for grace when I have no clue what to say.  

Then there are moments when I can see it in his eyes.  His little brain is just spinning trying to figure out his story.

UPDATE: I still see his brain spinning and sometimes when we’re talking about his story, he changes the subject and that is O.K.

That’s when a little bit of fear sets in.  I realize that there will probably come a day when there will be hard questions to answer and upset or confused emotions that come out of my boys.  In my humanness, I want to protect them.  I don’t ever want them to doubt our love for them or their birthfamilies love for them.

Then my loving, heavenly Father whispers to me and says, “Abby, don’t you remember how I used some really difficult situations in your life to draw you closer to me?  I want to do that for your boys too.”

There will be emotions that may be difficult to deal with. I won’t have all the answers for my boys, but I have the priviledge of pointing them to The One who is control of all things and has EVERYTHING they need.

UPDATE: Everytime we talk about the boys’ stories, (just to be clear, it’s not a daily or even weekly conversation.  Their adoption does not define who they are…it’s simply one part of who they are.) we get to talk about God.  I am learning that there is purpose in every circumstance God puts us in.  Instead of dwelling on the details, I can focus on Him and his purpose for each situation.  

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So, yes.  It will be hard.

UPDATE:  It sometimes is hard, but the good and the joy far outweigh the hard.  

There will be emotions that may be difficult to deal with.  I won’t have all the answers for my boys, but I have the priviledge of pointing them to The One who is control of all things and has EVERYTHING they need.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

_________________________

IMG_4672Abby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a (more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with their sons’ birth families. You can follow their story at Akers of Love.

Waiting {Summer Flashback}

I don’t like waiting.

I am the girl that always chooses the longest line at the grocery store.  Well.. actually…I choose one of the shorter lines, but something always happens that causes my line to move slower than all of the other ones.  Always might be a little dramatic, but you know what I mean.

Waiting is hard because it usually means you aren’t doing anything.  You have done everything in your power that you can do.  During the waiting periods for both of our adoptions, I remember saying, “If God could just tell me how long I was going to have to wait, it would be so much easier to handle.”  Moving forward is so much easier than being at a standstill.

Looking back, those waiting times were really sweet times for me and the Lord.

And these two were definitely worth the wait.  10478708_10152616495539120_3312072202697036569_n

We are in a different season of waiting now.  Waiting to see if our family will grow again.  I’ve written about it before.  We trust God, that if it’s time to move forward, he will give us the green light to do so.

Another standstill.

So, instead of spending my time wondering what will happen, I am fixing my heart and mind on what I do know.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.  He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  Psalm 18:2

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Psalm 46:1

I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you;  I will sustain you and I will rescue you.  Isaiah 46:4

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  Matthew 11:28-30

Maybe you are waiting. Waiting for paperwork to go through. Waiting for an answer from God about whether or not you should adopt. Waiting to go meet your child in another country. Waiting to bring your child home.  {Congo mamas…I’m praying hard for you.}  Waiting to be chosen by an expectant mom. Waiting for your spouse to be on board with you.

Whatever you are waiting for, my prayer is that you turn to the ONE who wants the very best for you. His best…not what you think is best.

Psalms 27:13-14 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

_________________________________

 

square for blogAbby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a {more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it} open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012.  You can read their story at Akers of Love.

His Boys

My boys.

I love saying those words.  I love the picture in my head and the warmth in my heart when I say those words.

I am your mama.

And sometimes I still can’t believe it.

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It’s perfectly clear that we don’t share the same DNA, but you are so much a part of me.  I know what you’re going to say before you say it.  I know what ticks you off.  I know what makes you happier than a pig in mud.  I know you.

But listen, sweet boys.  You know how I tell you that I love you more than all of the snowflakes that have ever fallen from the sky?  God loves you even more that!

That’s hard for me to comprehend, but it’s true.  And actually, I’m glad He loves you more than me because there are so many times that I mess up.  I can’t love you perfectly and never will, but He can and always will.

I don’t know what your questions will be as you start processing your adoption stories, but whatever they are, I want you to remember God’s love for you and cling to His promises.

But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15

You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.” Revelation 4:11

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

Even though you are my boys, you are really His.

Don’t ever forget that.

_________________________________

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Abby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a {more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it} open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012.  You can read their story at Akers of Love.

Waiting

I don’t like waiting.

I am the girl that always chooses the longest line at the grocery store.  Well.. actually…I choose one of the shorter lines, but something always happens that causes my line to move slower than all of the other ones.  Always might be a little dramatic, but you know what I mean.

Waiting is hard because it usually means you aren’t doing anything.  You have done everything in your power that you can do.  During the waiting periods for both of our adoptions, I remember saying, “If God could just tell me how long I was going to have to wait, it would be so much easier to handle.”  Moving forward is so much easier than being at a standstill.

Looking back, those waiting times were really sweet times for me and the Lord.

And these two were definitely worth the wait.  10478708_10152616495539120_3312072202697036569_n

We are in a different season of waiting now.  Waiting to see if our family will grow again.  I’ve written about it before.  We trust God, that if it’s time to move forward, he will give us the green light to do so.

Another standstill.

So, instead of spending my time wondering what will happen, I am fixing my heart and mind on what I do know.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.  He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  Psalm 18:2

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Psalm 46:1

I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you;  I will sustain you and I will rescue you.  Isaiah 46:4

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  Matthew 11:28-30

Maybe you are waiting. Waiting for paperwork to go through. Waiting for an answer from God about whether or not you should adopt. Waiting to go meet your child in another country. Waiting to bring your child home.  {Congo mamas…I’m praying hard for you.}  Waiting to be chosen by an expectant mom. Waiting for your spouse to be on board with you.

Whatever you are waiting for, my prayer is that you turn to the ONE who wants the very best for you. His best…not what you think is best.

Psalms 27:13-14 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

_________________________________

beach pic 1.jpg

Abby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a {more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it} open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012.  You can read their story at Akers of Love.

Chatting with my 25 Year Old Self {Summer Rewind}

When I was 25, my husband and I had been married for almost two years. It seemed like the perfect time to add children to our family. Little did I know the journey we were going to experience…

Abby and Wes 25 year old self

If my 25 year old self was sitting in front of me I would hand her a sweet and salty snack and cut right to the chase.

Your journey to becoming a mom is not going to be easy. You have a plan, but God has a different one for your family. You are going to cry a lot (even more than you already do) and have many ups and downs.

You will take more pregnancy tests than any one person should ever take. You will be consumed with wondering whether or not this month will be the month you finally see a positive result.

You will avoid certain people because every time they see you they will ask, “So when are you two going to start having kids?”  Every. Time.

You will go to a fertility specialist to get answers and discover that there really are no answers…something they like to call unexplained infertility.

After two failed IUI cycles you will realize that God is calling you to wait.  This will be one of the hardest parts of your journey.  As you wait, women all around you will be getting pregnant.  You will want so desperately to be happy for them, but on the inside, you will be a mess.

God will start putting a desire for adoption in your heart, but once again, there will be more waiting.  Your husband will not be ready.

But hold on, 25 year old Abby.  There is hope.  Lots of hope coming your way.

You will look back on all of those tears that you shed and be so thankful.  Those tears will bring you to your knees and draw you closer to your heavenly Father than ever before.  Your faith will be tested and you will learn that He is good.  Always.

Although the desire to become pregnant may never go away, God will miraculously take away the deep sadness of not getting pregnant and allow you to truly celebrate when others announce, “I’m pregnant!”

People are going to ask your husband, “When are you going to start a family?”  and you’re going to get to hear him say, “I already have family.”  It will melt your heart and make you love him even more.

And that sweet husband of yours?  He will come around and say out of the blue one day, “Let’s adopt.”

You will begin the adoption journey with lots of excitement, lots of questions and a bit of fear, but you will have complete peace knowing that this is exactly the path God wants you to take.

Expectant moms will choose you and unchoose you, try to scam you and rightfully change their minds, but once again, you will have peace.  It will be hard and you will wish you could be at the finish line, but you will have peace.

And then I would cut right to the chase again because I wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore and a would whip out this picture.

mother's day

You would say, “This isn’t what I pictured.” and I would say, “Isn’t it so much better?!?!?!”  You would agree…I’m sure of it.

I would tell you the stories of how God used two brave women to bring these two precious boys into our family.  You would be amazed at God’s faithfulness and His creativity in writing these stories.

We would probably sit in silence for a bit with you trying to wrap your head around all that I just said.

With tears in your eyes, you would ask for the picture, hold it against your heart and say, “I’m coming for you boys.  It’s going to be a long wait, but by the looks of things, you’re worth it.”

_________________________________

beach pic 1.jpg

Abby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a {more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it} open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012.  You can read their story at Akers of Love.

Chatting with My 25 Year Old Self

When I was 25, my husband and I had been married for almost two years. It seemed like the perfect time to add children to our family. Little did I know the journey we were going to experience…

Abby and Wes 25 year old self

If my 25 year old self was sitting in front of me I would hand her a sweet and salty snack and cut right to the chase.

 

Your journey to becoming a mom is not going to be easy. You have a plan, but God has a different one for your family. You are going to cry a lot (even more than you already do) and have many ups and downs.

You will take more pregnancy tests than any one person should ever take. You will be consumed with wondering whether or not this month will be the month you finally see a positive result.

You will avoid certain people because every time they see you they will ask, “So when are you two going to start having kids?”  Every. Time.

You will go to a fertility specialist to get answers and discover that there really are no answers…something they like to call unexplained infertility.

After two failed IUI cycles you will realize that God is calling you to wait.  This will be one of the hardest parts of your journey.  As you wait, women all around you will be getting pregnant.  You will want so desperately to be happy for them, but on the inside, you will be a mess.

God will start putting a desire for adoption in your heart, but once again, there will be more waiting.  Your husband will not be ready.

But hold on, 25 year old Abby.  There is hope.  Lots of hope coming your way.

You will look back on all of those tears that you shed and be so thankful.  Those tears will bring you to your knees and draw you closer to your heavenly Father than ever before.  Your faith will be tested and you will learn that He is good.  Always.

Although the desire to become pregnant may never go away, God will miraculously take away the deep sadness of not getting pregnant and allow you to truly celebrate when others announce, “I’m pregnant!”

People are going to ask your husband, “When are you going to start a family?”  and you’re going to get to hear him say, “I already have family.”  It will melt your heart and make you love him even more.

And that sweet husband of yours?  He will come around and say out of the blue one day, “Let’s adopt.”

You will begin the adoption journey with lots of excitement, lots of questions and a bit of fear, but you will have complete peace knowing that this is exactly the path God wants you to take.

Expectant moms will choose you and unchoose you, try to scam you and rightfully change their minds, but once again, you will have peace.  It will be hard and you will wish you could be at the finish line, but you will have peace.

And then I would cut right to the chase again because I wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore and a would whip out this picture.

mother's day

You would say, “This isn’t what I pictured.” and I would say, “Isn’t it so much better?!?!?!”  You would agree…I’m sure of it.

I would tell you the stories of how God used two brave women to bring these two precious boys into our family.  You would be amazed at God’s faithfulness and His creativity in writing these stories.

We would probably sit in silence for a bit with you trying to wrap your head around all that I just said.

With tears in your eyes, you would ask for the picture, hold it against your heart and say, “I’m coming for you boys.  It’s going to be a long wait, but by the looks of things, you’re worth it.”

_________________________________

beach pic 1.jpg

Abby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a {more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it} open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012.  You can read their story at Akers of Love.

 

The Unknown Future

After almost four years of trying to get pregnant, we got the green light from God to start the adoption process.  And boy, are we glad for the path God led us on because it led us to this sweet, little guy.

And then, a little over a year later we started the adoption process again and God led us to another sweet, little guy.

When our youngest was about 6 months old, I started dreaming of the next little babe that would come along.  I started obsessing about when it would happen or if it would ever happen again.  Growing our family consumed a lot of my thoughts.

Then God graciously pointed me back to these two faces.

I was so wrapped up in what our family could be that I was failing to see and truly appreciate our present reality.

This family of four that I belong to is far better than I could have imagined.  God is teaching me to be thankful for what I have today.

I, of course, still think about our future.  Dreaming about and wanting more children is not a bad thing, but why waste time dwelling on the unknown future when God already has it taken care of?  He has proven to be trustworthy in the past and I know he can be trusted for our future.  So, instead of me planning out our future, I’m praying for our future.  My perspective has changed and I can rest in his plan.

 I can rejoice over our unknown future because God is trustworthy.  

If I’m a mama of 2, I will rejoice.

If I’m a mama of more, I will rejoice.

 In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name.  Psalm 33:20-21

____________________________________

1010448_10151694184529120_1677268010_nAbby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a {more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it} open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with their sons’ birth families. You can follow their story at Akers of Love.

Stories

I have told both of my boys thier adoption stories since they were newborns in my arms.  It’s not easy to put into words the miraculous and complicated way God brought them into our lives, but I’ve always felt like it was good practice for me even if they have no clue what I’m saying.  The way they became part of our family is precious and I don’t ever want to forget those stories that made me a mama.

Right now, it’s pretty much a one-sided conversation.  My oldest is starting to make some straight-forward connections like…

“L is my birthmommy.”

“I grew in her tummy”

“She picked you and daddy to be my parents.”

Then there are moments when I can see it in his eyes.  His little brain is just spinning trying to figure out his story.

That’s when a little bit of fear sets in.  I realize that there will probably come a day when there will be hard questions to answer and upset or confused emotions that come out of my boys.  In my humanness, I want to protect them.  I don’t ever want them to doubt our love for them or their birthfamilies love for them.

Then my loving, heavenly Father whispers to me and says, “Abby, don’t you remember how I used some really difficult situations in your life to draw you closer to me?  I want to do that for your boys too.”

So, yes.  It will be hard.  There will be emotions that may be difficult to deal with.  I won’t have all the answers for my boys, but I have the priviledge of pointing them to The One who is control of all things and has EVERYTHING they need.

“And my God will meet all you needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

_________________________

IMG_4672Abby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a (more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with their sons’ birth families. You can follow their story at Akers of Love.

In Everything Give Thanks

“In everything give thanks.  For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Thank you, God.

In the years of trying to get pregnant and nothing happening.

In the unsuccessful fertility treatments.

In the expectant mom who had made us her number one choice and then after meeting us ended up picking couple number two to parent her baby.

In the “expectant mom” who chose us.

In finding out that the “expectant mom” wasn’t expecting after all.

In the nights that I laid in bed wondering if it would ever be our turn to be parents.

In the expectant mom that chose us and then dropped off the face of the earth.

In the expectant mom that chose us and then decided to parent.

In more waiting and not knowing what our future would look like.

Looking back, I truly can thank God for all of these things because these storms led us to our precious boys.

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While I don’t believe that God calls us to be thankful for the storms in our life, He does call us to be thankful in them.  As we begin the week where we set aside time to offer up our thanks to our Heavenly Father, I encourage you to be thankful in the hard stuff – In the waiting, in the not knowing, in the stacks and stacks of paperwork, in the difficult or insensitive questions and anything else God has put in your life to draw you closer to Him.

In everything.

Give thanks.

________________________________

beach familyAbby and her husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a (more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with their sons’ birth families. You can follow their story at Akers of Love.

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