On November 22nd, a film we’ve been long waiting for, a movie billed as a “timely story of kindness triumphing over cynicism” arrives.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, starring Tom Hanks as the hero Mr. Rogers, is a true story of friendship–Fred’s friendship with Esquire journalist Tom Junod (called Lloyd Vogel in the film). In 1998, Tom was given the assignment of writing a profile of Mr. Rogers for a special magazine issue on American heroes. With a bit of an edge and a reputation for controversy, Tom wasn’t sure it would be the best fit. Not surprising, what evolved was an unlikely yet entirely unsurprising friendship between them. As Junod later said, “Once I sort of got in his sights, I think he was looking to minister to me.” This new movie tells the story.

It’s no secret that we’re big Fred Rogers fans around here. We’re marking our calendars now.

We’re happy to have this new title on The Sparrow Fund’s shelves. In sing songy rhyme, God Made Me and You starts in a Bible-class classroom in Grace Christian School where teasing leads to tears. With crisp and bright illustrations, the book walks through how the teacher explains a diverse creation that all came together with the crown jewel of God’s hand–man and woman. Differences are magnified and celebrated with word (“what some call ethnicity and others call race, we should celebrate as a gift of God’s grace.”) and illustrations that include what looks to be a transracial couple with the man in a wheelchair, a child with a facial birthmark, one with dark glasses seemingly blind, a child with hearing aids and braces on teeth and on legs. The author explains that because of the “presence of sin, people hate for silly things like color of skin.”

The author doesn’t leave us there. He explains that God already had a solution in mind and sent Jesus to die for the sins of mankind, a solution that means that one day we’ll “no longer view our distinctions as odd, but rather, more reasons to give praise to God.”

Of note:

• The child teased in the beginning didn’t want to speak up when the teacher asks him why he’s crying, so a classmate gives the teacher the lowdown. This could be used as an opportunity to talk with your kids about how they respond to helpers when they have big feelings.
• When the teacher hears what happens, the first thing she does is tell the two boys who teased to ask for forgiveness. Then, she reminds the students of the classroom rules and tells them it’s a privilege to attend that school and that they will be expelled if they cannot keep the rule to respect all God’s creatures. We aren’t fans of enforcing asking for forgiveness before inviting some reconciliation, nor are we fans of threatening to send children away if they cannot keep the rules. Use her response as an opportunity to talk about what she may have been feeling and why she may have responded the way she did.
• At the end of the book, the author included a full spread entitled “Six Ways to Help Your Child Appreciate God’s Design for Ethnic Diversity.” This spread alone is worthwhile. We love his list and the way he explains each point.

Who says board books are only for babies? This one called Wiggles is good for kids right up to middle school and maybe beyond that. With a manageable size and strong pages that have die-cut out tracks throughout, we have found this title a neat one to use with a child and a parent in the context of attachment work. A parent can hold one side and a child the other. They can each take their own finger and trace the track on their page as the words direct (fast, slow, hip hopping, etc.). Our favorite part may be when the finger on the left meets the finger coming from the right and they get to kiss in the middle. It invites connection and creativity between parent and child (can you try it with child guiding mama’s hands? how about child guiding one hand of Mom and one hand of Dad?). And, you know, we’re all for tools that invites smiling and fun.

Emma’s Yucky Brother isn’t a new title, but it’s one we’re glad to have recently added to our shelf. It tells the story of Emma and her expectations of becoming a big sister to 4-year-old Max who her family is adopting. She’s sure he won’t be a pest like some little brothers are and that he’ll be little and sweet. She’s surprised when he’s bigger than he looked in his picture, when he doesn’t smile so much, when he calls her cookies yucky, when he doesn’t acknowledge a gift she gave him which she bought with her own money, and when he wants to play with other kids more than her. Her understanding and heart for him grows when she sees him grieving for his foster mom, and she decides she’s in (“Max sure is a pest, but he is the best pest ever.”). But being in doesn’t mean it’s easy. He calls her yucky and says he doesn’t need a sister. She’s mad–of course, she’s mad. But, her heart grows when she finds him crying under his bed. But, she gets mad again when he breaks her special doll, and she tells him to get lost. And, he does. Her heart grows again when she finds him crying again, and she tells him to ask her for help next time he breaks something, “that’s what sisters are for.” We love this book for normalizing all the big feelings that can come with older child adoption for children already in the home and for helping the whole family understand how sad can look like mad and how we can show love even when it’s hard.

When we say we are all about caring for caregivers that includes teachers. After our workshops Trauma Matters: What You Need to Know to Best Come Alongside ALL Your Students and Their Families and Beyond the Family Tree: Partnering with Foster and Adoptive Families at the MidAtlantic Christian School Association’s conference, we sent this list of resources and links onto workshop attendees and decided to share it here publicly as well. Not every educator can make it to workshops; we get that. There’s a lot out there beyond workshops to help professionals navigate caring for children with hard starts and their families. Click away.

GENERAL RESOURCES RELEVANT TO EDUCATORS

Adoption Basics for Teachers
Published by the Iowa Foster and Adoptive Parents Association, this 20+ page PDF guide goes over children’s typical developmental understandings of adoption, tips for educators to come alongside children, possibly troubling curriculum to consider, and lists of resources.

Creating Trauma-Informed Classrooms by Call, Purvis, Parris, & Cross
This 10-page PDF shared by the National Council for Adoption is a great resource to share with colleagues, giving an overview of the impact of trauma, risk factors, understanding how fear comes into play and how connection with parents and with caregivers like teachers is critical. It also includes a bullet-point list of trauma-informed care strategies that are good starting points and points for conversation between teachers and between teachers and parents.

Dear Teacher by Robyn Gobbel
Written by a therapist specializing in developmental trauma and attachment, this 10-page PDF is a good resource for a team of teachers to read and dig into together which both explains some things and gives some practical tools to help.

Empowered to Connect
The Empowered to Connect ministry and resources are based on TBRI (trust-based relational intervention) originally developed by Karyn Purvis and her team. Empowered to Connect’s website provides lots of articles and informative videos to give parents and professionals serving children who have had hard starts a holistic understanding of their children’s needs and development while empowering them with tools and strategies to effectively meet those needs, build trust, and help children heal and grow.

Flexible Mind/Rigid Mind classroom poster/bookmark graphic from Plant Love Grow
A very helpful graphic from the very helpful website Plant Love Grow that could be used in a classroom to help children pause and pay attention to what’s going on in themselves that may create conflict internally and with others. Check out their website for many more free tools.

Generation Mindful
Created by a PT, parent educator, and mother of four (that’s one lady!), Generation Mindful creates tools and toys that nurture emotional intelligence by connecting caregivers with children playfully. We’re big fans of their posters and Snugglebuddies.

How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime
In this 16-minute TED talk, pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris explains that the repeated stress of abuse, neglect and parents struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues has real, tangible effects on the development of the brain. This is a helpful introductory link to share with people who may wonder if early trauma really matters long term.

How to Help a Traumatized Child in the Classroom by Joyce Dorado and Vicky Zakrzewski
This is a short, readable article that shares the impact of trauma and introduces a few proactive strategies to help that include noticing triggers and responding with compassion, providing calm and predictable transitions, consider what you are saying publicly and privately, promote mindfulness, and take care of yourself. Look to other resources like The Connected Child and Empowered to Connect for helpful reactive strategies.

How to Support Stressed Out Teachers by Joyce Dorado and Vicky Zakrzewski
Another short, readable article that introduces vicarious or secondary trauma (simply put, when caregivers experience their own trauma as they care for those who have experienced trauma). The authors suggest a few proactive strategies for caring for caregivers including cultivating connections and community, offering wellness groups, and taking opportunities for wellness practices at regular staff meetings.

Kimochis Mixed Bag of Feelings
These little emoji-like pillows are a bit of an investment but a tool we use in so many different ways with children and families to help people identify and express feelings and promote connection. There are resources available from the company to help educators and clinicians creatively use these little guys in individual and group settings.

Lead Teacher website
Lindsay Mangold, Phoenixville teacher who taught TSF founders’ Mark and Kelly’s youngest daughter, launched a website Fall 2018 where she shares resources and tools for social/emotional education that are helpful for kids from hard starts as well as all students as they promote self-regulation and connection. One of our personal favorite exercises she describes is the High Five, a daily practice with a class that creates a culture of acceptance and promotes that feelings are mentionable and manageable. She also offers a great lesson plan on understanding the amygdala and understanding anger.

Morningside Center website
Morningside is an organization that works with educators to build students’ social and emotional skills, promote community, and encourage restorative practices and brave conversations on race. They provide articles and online resources that dig deep into current events and reflect on stories in a way that engages students and caregivers alike to identify and express feelings about complex issues.

Teaching Restorative Practices With Classroom Circles by Amos Clifford
60+ page PDF available for free from the Center for Restorative Process that explains how using intentional classroom circles can help develop community and a restorative culture in the classroom for handling conflict.

BOOK TITLES RELEVANT TO EDUCATORS

Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson
We can only walk with our children to places we’re willing to go ourselves. In this book, Curt Thompson integrates neuroscience and attachment with Gospel Truth, revealing how it is possible for us to rewire our own minds, altering our brain patterns and literally making us more like the men and women God wants us to be. Explaining the brain in layman’s terms, he shows how we can be mentally transformed through spiritual practices, interaction with Scripture, and connections with other people.

The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis
Often required reading for prospective adoptive parents, this book explains what trauma looks like, how it affects our children, and strategies that help in an easy-to-read format. The basic strategies presented in our Trauma Matters session and others are explained in this text.

Different by Sally Clarkson
Choosing to shut out the voices of the world that said her son was “bad,” “broken,” and in need of fixing, Clarkson shares how she moved to trust that her biological son’s differences could be part of an intentional design by a loving Creator. Appropriate for any parent or educator working with an outside-the-box child whether they are living with their biological parents, a foster family, or adoptive family.

Help for Billy by Heather Forbes
Using tables, outlines, and lists for quick reference and readability, Forbes provides guidelines and specific ways for teachers and parents to navigate challenging symptoms of developmental trauma that evidence themselves in learning and in the school context in general.

No Drama Discipline by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Highlighting the link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for parents as they deal with tantrums, tensions, and tears. Defining discipline to be more about instruction than punishment, the authors explain how parents and caregivers can seek to reach a child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth.

Nurturing Adoptions by Deborah Gray
Written for professionals, Gray explains how neglect, trauma, and prenatal exposure to drugs or alcohol affect brain and emotional development and how to recognize these effects and attachment challenges in children. She also provides ways to help children settle into new families and home and school approaches that encourage children to flourish.

Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson
This is a compelling, easily readable book that we recommend to foster and adoptive parents to help them identify and navigate what they bring to the table. Thompson provides theological and practical tools necessary to dismantle the shame that binds us and helps us identify our own broken places and find freedom from lifelong negative messages.

Teaching the Hurt Child: Relationships Between Trauma, Attachment and Learning by Andrea Chatwin
Published by a Canadian organization committed to supporting adoptive families and professionals serving them, this 40-page manual is based on a popular workshop they offer for educators and gives foundational information about trauma and the developing brain as well as strategies to help educators navigate typically challenging behaviors for children with hard starts.

CHILDREN’S TITLES RELEVANT TO EDUCATION

Captain Snout and the Superpower Questions by Daniel Amen
This is a fun children’s book that helps kids (and their grownups) identify automatic negative thinking patterns and combat them so that our kids are better able to respond to challenges with truth.

Decibella and Her 6-Inch Voice by Julia Cook
Published by Boys Town Press, this book is about a girl named Isabella whose voice volume needs some tweaking. The book teaches five volumes of voice and when to use them.

Foster Care: One Dog’s Story of Change by Julia Cook
Written in engaging prose, this book tells the story of a little guy going into foster care for the first time and his fears and feelings. Appropriate for children who have experienced foster care and to help other children better understand it.

Glad Monster, Sad Monster: A Book About Feelings by Ed Emberley and Anne Miranda
A classic book that puts colors and experiences with feelings, normalizing both positive and negative feelings and opening up conversation about what makes us feel different feelings. Includes on every spread a removable mask that expresses the feeling that you could use in a classroom and open discussion about how we show our different feelings.

I Just Don’t Like the Sound of No by Julia Cook
Published by Boys Town Press, this book is about a boy named RJ who tries to change his parents’ and teachers NOs into Maybes or Yeses. It’s a good resource for helping kids learn how to accept NO and disagree appropriately.

In My Heart by Jo Witek
We like how this book normalizes feelings and gives verbiage around what different feelings physically feel like, giving us a resource to use to help kids learn to be in tune to their own bodies and learn to self-regulate. The book itself is a good size with hard pages and a die-cut heart on each page which is fun and engaging.

Mouse Was Mad by Linda Urban
Fun book about what mad can look like for different people and what works to help us regulate when we have big feelings.

My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss
A Dr. Suess classic, this book uses strictly colors to identify different feelings which could help kids who have trouble articulating some of the bigger emotions to translate them into less threatening, creative verbiage. In addition to lending itself to lots of creative classroom activities, the book could be used to create a shared language of feelings in your classroom that parents who struggle with this specifically could use at home.

Silly Limbic: A Tail of Bravery by Naomi Harvey
Written about a little boy and his invisible dog friend named Limbic, this book helps kids to understand the limbic system of their brain and how they handle stress.

Star of the Week by Darlene Friedman
Tells the story of how a kindergarten girl adopted from China navigates a challenging assignment to be star of the week and tell her class all about herself. The book insightfully shares different things the assignment brings up for her and how she navigates the project.

The Elephant With Small Ears, The Redo Roo, The Penguin and the Fine Looking Fish, It’s Tough to be Gentle, Doggie Doesn’t Know No, Baby Owl Lost Her Whoo by Cindy R. Lee
While the illustrations in these books by Cindy R. Lee are not our favorites, the series does give parents and educators stories that correspond with Karyn Purvis’ TBRI (trust-based relational intervention) strategies described in The Connected Child and presented in part in the Trauma Matters session.

The Way I Feel by Janan Cain
Going through all sorts of different feelings (silly, scared, happy, sad, frustrated, shy, bored, jealous, etc.) and what they look like, this book could be used in a group to write feelings artistically to look like the expression of a feeling (they are artistically illustrated in this book) and open up conversation about how we show our feelings with our bodies.

This is Me: A Story of Who We Are & Where We Came From by Jamie Lee Curtis
Written to help kids better understand immigration, this book is all about an elementary class learning about histories and stories and is helpful for kids adopted or not to think about what makes up their story and how to help others better know and understand them.

What Were You Thinking: Learning to Control Your Impulses by Bryan Smith
Published by Boys Town Press, this book is about a 3rd grade boy named Braden who always seems to act fast and get himself into trouble. The book teaches three strategies to help with impulse control (stop what you are doing, think about what you are going to say or do, and decide if it will make the situation better or worse) and ultimately answer the question, “What was I thinking?”

Note:
All Amazon links here are affiliate links and benefit us when you use them,
so click away.

Know of any more resources worth recommending? Let us know so we can add them to our list.

In the midst of trying to remember dentist appointments and when ball team sign ups are and teacher appreciation week and shopping for birthday gifts, there’s something that’s really easy to forget. It’s easy to forget that you are what your child needs. You. Imperfect you. The one who doesn’t get it right all the time. The one who wonders if she’s getting it right even some of the time. You are a good mom.

Just to help you and all of us remember, we’re hosting a little giveaway. It’s not a fundraiser; it’s just a joyraiser and a community builder. And, we want you to be a part of it.

HERE’S HOW:

• Look on your phone for a picture that gives a snapshot of this season of motherhood for you. Could be you on the sidelines of a big game or a graduation. Could be you pushing an overflowing shopping cart or a baby carriage. Whatever you want to share, share it.
• Tag The Sparrow Fund on Facebook or @sparrowfund on Instagram
• Use #IAMAGOODMOM

After Mother’s Day this Sunday, we’ll pick one winner and send out a prize package worth over $100 including goodies from The Sparrow Fund, Jenny Borba Designs, and Fund the Nations.

Want a few little suggestions of what very well may be perfect additions to put under the tree for someone who is heading to China with us 🙂 or somewhere else around the world in 2017? Here are a few of our personal favorites to get you started.

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After using packing cubes, you may never go back. They aren’t much money and work so well for organizing your packing as well as allowing you to pack way more than you think will fit in your luggage which is always important. This blue set is a good option as it comes with some pretty spiffy extras.
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A luggage scale is a must have because that 50 lb. international luggage weight limit comes fast and the 44 lb. limit for a domestic flight in China comes even faster. At least one luggage scale for someone on a team of travelers is essential for packing and repacking in China. Here are two of our favorites–this one from EatSmart or this one from Balanzza.
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We love Timbuk2 bags in general. And, this Q laptop backpack is our favorite China carry-on bag. It’s great on the flight, at the pearl market, and at the orphanage. All that several times over, and it will still look essentially brand new.

 

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China travelers need a passport holder, preferably one that can hold an envelope of crisp, brand-new-looking $100 bills without them having to be folded. This one from Ideawin for cards, passport, pen, travel documents, and even phone is awesome. It zips shut, has the wristlet thing, and comes in some pretty fun colors.

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Yes, these tags are obnoxiously bright. But, that’s the point. Baggage claim is way easier with a couple obnoxiously bright luggage tags. These colors and the grippy texture are perfect.
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When traveling to China, you really only need a plug adapter (not an electric converter) for your computer, phone, iPad, and camera charger. They can handle the voltage and just need the right type of plug. Trust us when we say travelers shouldn’t bother with bringing a hair dryer and/or flat iron to use with a converter. It’ll probably be destroyed within a day or two because the voltage is just too much (and you don’t want to burn your hotel down or anything).

We know this TRTL travel pillow is kind of odd. But, what travel pillow doesn’t look a bit odd? And, when you are on a flight for 13 odd hours, odd is just fine. Whatever works. And, this one does. We should be getting freebies from this company for how many we’ve promoted and sold. We like that it is cozy and that it isn’t some big fluffy thing that you wear around the airport or have to tie onto your bag that can and will get filthy.
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Nothing is better in a stocking than more stockings. And, these
Yaktrax cabin socks are nice ones. Put them in your carryon for when you want to get a bit more comfortable on that forever long flight.

 
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Always a welcome stocking stuffer. A Starbucks gift card is great for the airport before departing and when you only have one more flight to go before home. That decaf caramel macchiato or green tea latte just tastes even sweeter then.
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Bathrooms in China often have sinks but no soap. This mini container has teeny tissue-like sheets of soap that are perfect for such situations when using hand sanitizer just isn’t what you want.
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This is also a handy stocking stuffer for the China traveler–travel sized, concentrated laundry soap. Then you can wash clothes to rewear what you need to and spot clean the spots you get from eating with chopsticks.
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Every China traveler needs something to bring order to plug adapters, iPad chargers, phone charges, headphones, etc. There are lots of them out there. But, this one from Bagsmart looks like a good one with its bold colors so you can spot it easily in the depth of your suitcase or carryon.
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A toiletry bag is essential, and we prefer hanging ones to keep them from sitting in icky water on a bathroom counter. Grab this inexpensive one from NeatPack in a fun color.
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Sometimes you just get tired of drinking bottled water and room temperature Coke. Having a couple of these Crystal Light liquid things in your bag for such occasions makes staying hydrated a bit more tolerable.
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Melatonin is your friend. And, it will make a good stocking stuffer that someone thanks you for later.

 
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Amylee Weeks is a talented designer. This journal is one of her designs, and we love it for a travel journal. Check out what the inside pages look like. They are inspiring but leave plenty of room for thoughts and doodles as you go and go deeper.

 
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Okay, so these are super expensive. we know. And, likely nobody’s buying these noise-canceling headphones as a gift since they have a high price tag. But, we had to share them because they are LIFE CHANGING. Seriously. If you have $250 to spare, get these. The plane ride and train rides and bus rides and long taxi rides are entirely different with these babies. You’re welcome.
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Please don’t buy this for your China trip. It’s a post-China trip need. Every hotel room has an electric kettle to heat and clean water (no tea needed, just hot water). And, after China, you’re going to want one of your own. this one by Oster is great and the blue light is so nice in the wee hours of the morning.

 
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A very special gift is a sterling silver charm like this one from Jiayin Designs with a special word or phrase to wear before, during, and after your China trip. You do have to think ahead to give the gift of this charm–they take anywhere from 4-6 weeks to arrive. But, they are so unique and will be sure to become an heirloom.
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Don’t forget the gift idea of books about China travel, culture, adoption, etc…..

Be sure to check these out:

• China in Ten Words
• Age of Ambition
• Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother: Stories of Loss and Love
• Wish You Happy Forever: What China’s Orphans Taught Me About Moving Mountains
• Eating Bitterness: Stories from the Front Lines of China’s Great Urban Migration
• One Child
• China’s Hidden Children
• The Good Women of China
• Kay Bratt titles for fiction reading

These links are Amazon affiliate links. What that is an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon. Use the links in this post at no cost to you and know that when you shop using them, we’ll get a small kick back to support what we do. 

There are some words to describe our kids that seem to pop up often among our families: wiggle worm, jumping bean, monkey, crazy man, wild lady. You get the idea. We’re the parents sitting down in tiny plastic chairs at a conference who hears from the teacher that she feels like she has to take dramamine in order to teach our child.

Here’s the thing: it may not simply be disobedience (or to aggravate you). Simply put, all our thoughts and actions are traced to sensations that we transmit and make sense of within our brains. Our brains are always working to process internal and external stimuli and then tell our bodies how to respond. The way each of our brains are uniquely wired drives what this looks like for each one of us. When children experience hard starts and trauma that affect their developing brains, their responses might look a bit different than what we’d call typical. What all that means in very simple terms is that all that fidgeting and bouncing around and hyperactivity might not be resolved with typical correction. Instead, we need to study our kiddos and seek to provide them with the right balance of sensory tools and strategies to help them regulate and help us tolerate their need for it as well as connecting correction.

We’re always looking for good tools for our toolboxes–fidget foot bands, chewy jewelry, wiggle seats, and all sorts of fidgets. We discovered a tool recently that quickly has become one of our favorites–the Nesel Pack. It’s a backpack specifically designed for kiddos with sensory processing difficulties. It has several features such as clips on the straps to attach your favorite tools, specially designed straps to mimic a compression vest and a hip belt that offers more compression, a security strap, pouches on the inside to add weight if desired, and an ID tag in the front to let your child customize the bag in one of five fun colors. We think it’s pretty awesome outfitted with some of those favorite fidgets from our favorite sensory store with the best service from folks who are on the same team–as you can see.

And, because we love it so much and want to introduce it to as many people as we can, we are offering a giveaway for one Nesel Pack of your very own (valued at $99!) to put under your Christmas tree this year. Enter through one or all of the ways in the Rafflecopter giveaway below and we’ll announce a winner next week. And, if you don’t win, just order one of these bags and stuff your kiddos stocking with all the fidgets to go with them for a Merry Christmas for your kiddo and you both.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Around here, birthdays aren’t complete without a gift or two. Why should WAGI be any different?

Wish I could give you all a gift–but with an average of 1,200 pageviews a day, I’m thinking that won’t work.