Year: 2017

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Changes to China’s Program

Only a couple weeks ago, the new leadership of the CCCWA, the department in Beijing that handles all adoptions, published changes effective immediately for families applying to adopt from China. This morning, agencies started their work day with another announcement from the CCCWA, this time referring to agencies themselves.

The announcement was distributed in both Mandarin and English. Here is the full English translation.

Announcement
July 18, 2017

Relevant government departments and adoption agencies in receiving countries, Following the enactment of the Law of the People’s Republic of China on the Administration of Activities of Overseas Non-Governmental Organizations within the Territory of China (hereinafter referred to as Administration Law) since January 1, we would like to notify as follows on relevant issues about the programs carried out by adoption agencies such as the One-to-One Assistance Program, Journey of Hope Program, and Summer/Winter Hosting Program based on the regulations of the Administrative law and conclusions of competent authorities:
I. All activities concerning the One-to-One program, Journey of Hope Program, and Summer/Winter Hosting Program will be terminated. For children who have been assessed by adoption agencies through the One-to-One program before the enactment of the Administrative Law and whose reports have not been submitted to CCCWA, if their reports are submitted through the provincial department of civil affairs to CCCWA before December 31, 2017 (subjected to the approval date of the provincial department), CCCWA will post these files to the specific list of the original adoption agency. Agencies are requested to look for children within required deadline, otherwise the files will be withdrawn by CCCWA when the deadline is closing.
II. Foreign adoption agencies should abide by the business scope specified in the registration when working in China. No activities with inter-country adoption as the purpose are allowed when agencies work in welfare and charity related activities.
III. Adoption agencies should look for adoptive families according to the requirements outlined in the Review Points for Decision on the Eligibility of Foreigners Adopting from China and avoid hasty placements without discretion within the deadline.

China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption Center

What we know from this announcement is that the 1:1 partnerships between agencies and orphanages that has been established for years will end at the end of this year. Also, group trips to orphanages by agencies for the purpose of advocacy and hosting programs bringing waiting children to the US for advocacy will not be allowed. What we do not know is how agencies will receive files for waiting families once the rush to secure files from their partnership orphanages this fall ends. Agencies have already submitted that question to the CCCWA today as well as suggestions of alternate matching processes to all files going to one shared list as it had been done years ago. What we are also waiting to hear is if agencies will be permitted to “work in welfare and charity related activities” if adoption is not the purpose. Point II seems to make that a distinct possibility which is very good news. Of course, if advocacy is not officially allowed to be part of those efforts, many agencies may not as interested in the work as they have been. We still are. And, we will continue to pursue how we can care for caregivers and the children in their care. Clearly, this is not without challenges; but no significant work is. We’re all putting our heads together as are our friends in China to figure it out.

China remains the largest international adoption program in the world and has been the most stable and predictable for years. We know that any change to a well established program can feel unsettling. However, we are confident that the program will continue and, quite possibly, be managed better than it has been as the new director of the CCCWA and governing leaders work hard to come up with a program that will benefit children and Chinese orphanages and best ensure the long-term success of those children in families.

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Help is here!

There’s a book in the Bible called Exodus. It’s all about God’s faithfulness and grace towards a people who didn’t deserve it and His power to do the seemingly impossible. In it, God saves the Israelites from slavery bringing them right through the Red Sea, they wander the desert with God providing manna from heaven to meet their needs, God gives them the ten commandments, and He comes to dwell among them in the tabernacle. In chapter 18, Moses takes a breath from it all and has a heart to heart with his father-in-law Jethro. Moses tells him all the good stuff that’s been happening, all the things worthy of celebrating, the stories he never imagined he’d be able to tell. He also tells him all the challenges they’ve faced along the way and where they’ve seen great victory and where they hope to see victory still. Jethro listens and affirms and encourages and then he challenges.

Why are you doing this all alone? You’re going to wear yourself out and if you do, what will happen to the people you serve? Moses, this job is too heavy a burden for you to try to handle all by yourself.

Here in our little corner of a suburb of Philadelphia, in our brand new office, that’s the message we heard. We need some help to both carry our burden and increase our capacity for whatever burden God trusts us with.

Last week, help arrived pulling a U-Haul trailer with Texas plates.

When our favorite physical therapists weren’t able to make our orphanage team trip this past October (new babies have a way of affecting plans), I told them I understood entirely…and that they’d have to recruit two doctors to take their place. One of those doctors was Erin. They told me she was faithful, mission minded, an excellent pediatric physical therapist in Texas for over 6 years, and delightful. They knew she’d been feeling a nudge for something but she didn’t know what. China was never on her “bucket list,” but she was willing. They told me this was the perfect trip for her, that it would meet our need and Erin’s as well. They were right.

The October orphanage trip moved her profoundly. That place she had never been particularly drawn to now captivated her. She was overwhelmed by how hard the staff worked in attempts to meet the needs of the children. She was humbled by their servant heartedness to do this work for years on end with little to no recognition. She was astounded by the resilience of the children to overcome. Life changed for her. A second trip with us to a new orphanage only a couple months later sealed the deal for her and for us.

A few weeks ago, Erin finished her last day practicing physical therapy in Forth Worth, Texas and started packing up her bags. Last week, she packed those bags into a trailer with her little dog Calvin by her side and started the journey to the Northeast to join our team!

While practicing physical therapy privately here part time, she’s going to be a part of everything that The Sparrow Fund currently does to provide support to adoptive families and children without families and their caregivers as well as seek out and pursue growth opportunities to do all that better.

Join us as we celebrate all the parted waters and manna He’s provided, and join us as we welcome Erin!

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Planting seeds

When I made the call to travel with The Sparrow Fund to serve at an orphanage in China this past October, I knew that I wanted to get my kids involved. They weren’t boarding a plane with me to go…at least not this time! But, this trip was their trip too. Mommy was leaving and for no short time. The best way to prepare them for that was to engage them and help them grasp the vision for engaging their friends too.

So, I went to their teachers. I told them about The Sparrow Fund and about the trip and asked if they would consider being involved in two specific ways: (1) allowing me to send home a letter written by my children asking if families would be a part of the effort by sending into school specific items from our team’s wish list and (2) letting me come into the class when I was back to share about the experience. We were thrilled when they were thrilled by the ideas.

Over the next month, we collected stickers, toy cars, stickers, play dough, stickers, beach balls, and more stickers! When I finally left for China, I had a suitcase literally half full of stickers (which were a huge hit) and came back with a suitcase literally half full of little Terracotta Warrior excavation kits I picked up along the way that I thought my kids’ classmates would like chipping away at when I came in to share.

I was so excited to go into that class with those excavation kits in hand as well as lots and lots of pictures of those stickers in action. Kids recognized the same stickers they had picked out themselves stuck on the faces and fingers of children on the other side of the world. It was if those stickers made the connection between them.

I shared about China and the kids and the orphanage building and how we helped. One little boy’s hand went up right away when I explained how nearly every child who lives in the orphanage has some sort of special need.

“I have ADHD and ‘personal space’ issues. Are there any kids like me there?” he asked.

Another child almost fell out of her seat trying to get my attention. She signed with so much facial expression that I felt I understood even while I awaited her ASL interpreter’s explanation.

“All the kids in those pictures are orphans?”

My yes only spurred more questions from her that she continued to sign with her face full of feeling.

“None of them have a mom or dad? Why would their parents ever want to give them up?”

I did my best to answer their questions. I don’t know if I satisfied them with my answers. I felt at peace regardless. My answers were a window into my own process as I have faced the realities of broken relationships. I hope they planted some seeds as they start their own process and were made aware, some for the first time, of children just like them on the other side of the world who do not have families.

I have been back from China over 7 months now. The effect of my experience isn’t growing smaller as time passes; it’s growing bigger as opportunities to share continue to arise. Each of these opportunities is a gift because they serve to remind me and keep it all close. Every time, I get to relive those moments that changed my life forever.

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Announcing Recharge 2017

Recharge Men’s Retreat

Every story of how each of our families got to where we are today is entirely unique. As different as our families are, perhaps there is something we as husbands and fathers share. It is the desire to do what is right for our wives and children and, ultimately, our God and the realization that that is very, very hard.

For 5 years, The Sparrow Fund has hosted a marriage retreat to pour into couples committed to living out their calling together. In November 2017, we are hosting our first men’s retreat limited to only 35 men. We’ve named it appropriately Recharge as every part of the time is designed to do just that. We don’t want to add items to your to-do list or call out where you may be falling short. Instead, our hope is for every man there to be reminded that he matters and that he can be a powerful nurturer and hope-giver for his family.

Whether you are just starting out in your fostering or adoption journey or completed your family years ago, you belong here. Register starting Sunday, June 11th at 9:00pm EST for our November 9th-11th retreat at the beautiful Refreshing Mountain Retreat & Adventure Center nestled on 80 acres of woodland in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania (approximately 90 minutes west of Philadelphia and 30 minutes east of Hershey).

Check THIS PAGE for more details as they’re set (we’re still figuring all of them out) and the link to register next week.

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Our You-Are-A-Good-Mom Mother’s Day Giveaway

In the midst of trying to remember dentist appointments and when ball team sign ups are and teacher appreciation week and shopping for birthday gifts, there’s something that’s really easy to forget. It’s easy to forget that you are what your child needs. You. Imperfect you. The one who doesn’t get it right all the time. The one who wonders if she’s getting it right even some of the time. You are a good mom.

Just to help you and all of us remember, we’re hosting a little giveaway. It’s not a fundraiser; it’s just a joyraiser and a community builder. And, we want you to be a part of it.

HERE’S HOW:

  • Look on your phone for a picture that gives a snapshot of this season of motherhood for you. Could be you on the sidelines of a big game or a graduation. Could be you pushing an overflowing shopping cart or a baby carriage. Whatever you want to share, share it.
  • Tag The Sparrow Fund on Facebook or @sparrowfund on Instagram
  • Use #IAMAGOODMOM

After Mother’s Day this Sunday, we’ll pick one winner and send out a prize package worth over $100 including goodies from The Sparrow Fund, Jenny Borba Designs, and Fund the Nations.

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Big Dreams {The Sparrow Fund’s New Space!}

It was on a dining room table, a coffee table, and a small desk in a little den where The Sparrow Fund has functioned for 6 years. But, as The Sparrow Fund grew from a little nonprofit giving grants to a handful of families to a bigger team effort to include training, counsel, a marriage retreat, and short-term trips to orphanages to care for caregivers and the children there, it became pretty clear that leading this effort from wherever it could fit would no longer work.

Big dreams led to bigger dreams as encouragement from our community confirmed that a designated space wouldn’t just be nice; it was actually needed for our team to not only continue what we are doing but to grow.

About one year later and more than a year’s worth of effort from our board and the community cheering us on, we officially have a space!

Stay tuned. We’re pretty sure we’re just going to be dreaming even bigger now that we’ve got a space to do it.

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Beauty Compounded

We knew this was good.

We handed tools to children living in an orphanage in the middle of China and told them You are uniquely made. You are capable. Live it out and let us celebrate the beauty you create and you are. 

We knew this was good.

We handed tools to children living in an orphanage in South China in a public park, before a crowd of passerby, and told them You are uniquely made. You are capable. Live it out and let us celebrate the beauty you create and you are. 

We admired their choices of color and willingness to try something new and something kind of hard. We praised the ayis who teach them to make and pointed out how good they are at what they do. We collectively marveled over how God made us to be beauty-makers like Him.

We trusted the good wasn’t finished when those weeks in the orphanages were over. We left with great expectation of good things growing, of beauty compounded.

An art exhibit isn’t the end goal to do that; but it one tangible way we get to see it happen. A few of their pieces were displayed as masterpieces along with their sweet faces, and the team of people marveling grew from 15 to literally hundreds. And, I took pictures of their pictures and sent them back to those same ayis and said, “Look at what your children can do because of what you do!”

So, so good.

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TC2017 Recommended Resources

When Together Called attendees requested a resource table, we listened. For the last two retreats, we have offered attendees a place where they can hold and flip through resources that our team has recommended so that they choose those resources that would be most helpful for their own families. While we can’t get that table in front of all of you, we wanted to get the titles and a little blurb about each one in front of you with links so that you could click and order.

(Note: we’d love for you to use these links as they are affiliate links. When you order from Amazon via these links, we get a tiny percentage which adds up.) 

PARENT TITLES

30 Days of Hope by Jennifer Phillips (recommended by Stephanie Smit)
Regardless of whether you are just starting out as an adoptive mom or living with teenagers you adopted as infants, in this devotional, author Jennifer Phillips weaves elements of her own adoption journey and encouragement from God’s word to help you see hope and move forward with encouragement.

A Lifelong Love by Gary Thomas (recommended by all of us)
Gary Thomas’ A Lifelong Love is our current favorite book on marriage. While there is nothing in this book about adoption, Thomas’ focus on benevolent love and the intimate relationship that only a husband and wife share will encourage adoptive parents who are in the thick of things to press on to fulfill their calling well and to do that together.

A Lifelong Love Journal by Gary Thomas
A great pairing with your A Lifelong Love book, this journal is set up with a devotional on the left side to read together or individually with a full page on the right to journal in words or art.

Adopted for Life by Russell Moore (recommended by Stephanie Smit)
Adoption is a way to build your family. It is also one of the best earthly illustrations of the Gospel. While we do not believe every Christian is called to adopt, we do think books like this one can challenge us to look closely at what God can show us about Himself through adoption.

Adoption at the Movies by Addison Cooper
With a film for each week of the year including Finding Dory, The Blind Side, and Star Wars, this guide includes descriptions of the themes relevant to adoption and ideas to get conversations started around issues such as culture, identity, control, and reunification.

The Allure of Hope by Jan Myers (recommended by the Hagertys)
Published in 2001, this book has not lost its power. Meyers dares readers take the risk of embracing hope even in those places where hope seems to have been destroyed.

Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson (recommended by Kelly Raudenbush)
We can only walk with our children to places we’re willing to go ourselves. In this book, Curt Thompson integrates neuroscience and attachment with Gospel Truth, revealing how it is possible for us to rewire our own minds, altering our brain patterns and literally making us more like the men and women God wants us to be. Explaining the brain in layman’s terms, he shows how we can be mentally transformed through spiritual practices, interaction with Scripture, and connections with other people.

Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray (recommended by Nicole Renee)
This classic text provides practical parenting strategies designed to enhance our children’s emotional health and relational connection. It explains what attachment is, how grief and trauma can affect children’s emotional development, and how to improve attachment, respect, cooperation and trust.

Attaching Through Love, Hugs, and Play by Deborah Gray (recommended by Nicole Renee)
Helpful for kids who have had different starts, Gray explains why routines and play are so important in helping children to attach and shares specific ideas within those areas to help build healthy bonds.

Before You Were Mine by Susan Tebos and Carissa Woodwyk (recommended by Stephanie Smit)
Remembering and celebrating your child’s history can be rewarding and even redemptive. This book, written by an adoptive mother and an adopted daughter, offers suggestions on how to organize details of your child’s birth story into a lifebook and use that lifebook to trace God’s faithfulness.

Cherish by Gary Thomas (recommended by Kelly Raudenbush)
Through personal stories and real life examples, Thomas shares what husbands and wives can begin doing today to turn their marriages around and learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

The Circle of Security Intervention by Bert Powell (recommended by Amy Brady)
This book comprehensively explains the foundations of Circle of Security, the attachment-based intervention for children 0-5.

The Comparison Trap by Sandra Stanley
Written by Charles Stanley’s daughter-in-law who is a foster mom, this book includes 28 devotionals that help you work through the struggle we often have to compare ourselves to others around us or on screens in front of us.

The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis (recommended by all of us)
Often required reading by adoption agencies, this book explains what trauma looks like and how it affects our children in an easy-to-read format. While the content reflects biblical principles, it’s appropriate for readers of all faith backgrounds. Created to Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child, by Dr. Karyn Purvis with Michael and Amy Monroe, was written to help illuminate the biblical principles that serve as the foundation for the philosophy and interventions detailed in The Connected Child. Download the study guide free HERE to go along with the text.

Created for Connection by Sue Johnson (recommended by Anna Balfour)
A challenging read for your marriage. Johnson says forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your childhood, or making grand romantic gestures. Instead, she encourages couples to get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by exploring your attachment to each other.

Cry of the Soul by Dan Allender (recommended by the Hagertys)
Beginning with the Psalms, Allender explores what Scripture says about our darker emotions and points us to ways of honoring God as we faithfully embrace all our mad, sad, and scareds.

Different by Sally Clarkson (recommended by the Hagertys)
Choosing to shut out the voices of the world that said her son was “bad,” “broken,” and in need of fixing, Clarkson shares how she moved to trust that her son’s differences could be part of an intentional design by a loving Creator. Appropriate for any parent with an outside-the-box child as well as adults trying to make sense of their own differences.

Different Kind of Hero by Sally Clarkson (recommended by the Hagertys)
A companion to her book Different, this is a 12-session Bible Study exploring misfits in the Bible like Peter, Ruth, and Elijah and the surprising ways they became heroes of the faith. All about how God can take our own weaknesses and turn them into strengths as He draws us outside our comfort zones.

Every Bitter Thing is Sweet by Sara Hagerty (recommended by all of us)
We sing it on Sundays and put it in greeting cards—God is good. But, we live our days not grasping that God is good to us. In her book, Sara Hagerty, past Together Called speaker, poetically draws us into her story of loss, grief, and redemption and how God’s name was written over every word of it, drawing her to Himself and showing her that He is not only a good God but a God who is good to her, His treasured possession. Click HERE to download a discussion guide to go with it.

Falling Upward by Richard Rohr (recommended by Anna Balfour)
This book explores the counterintuitive message that we grow spiritually more by doing wrong than by doing right and that spirituality grows throughout life as we inevitably fall down over and over again.

Forever Mom by Mary Ostyn (recommended by Nicole Renee)
An easy read, Forever Mom is a good resource particularly for women interested in adopting or waiting to adopt for the first time. Author Mary Ostyn touches on preparing siblings, building connections, and handling challenging behaviors newly home.

Games and Activities for Attaching With Your Child by Deborah Gray and Megan Clarke
When it comes to choosing the best games to play with children who have difficulties attaching, it is often hard to know how and what to play with a purpose in mind. This book contains fun, age-appropriate games for infants to older children along with an explanation of why they matter.

Grace Filled Marriage by Tim Kimmel
Kimmel leads readers to explore big questions such as: How can you live out grace when your spouse frustrates you? How can grace enhance your sexual relationship? How do you show grace without being walked all over? How can God help you make grace more of your go-to response in your marriage?

I Love You Rituals by Becky Bailey (recommended by Nicole Renee and Kelly Raudenbush)
This resource offers parents more than 70 rhymes and games that take only minutes a day but send our children messages of unconditional love. Appropriate for infants through elementary aged children, these easy-to-follow-and-learn ideas can help us help our children have fun and build relationship.

No Drama Discipline by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (recommended by Nicole Renee and Kelly Raudenbush)
Highlighting the link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears. Defining discipline to be more about instruction than punishment, the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth.

Nurturing Adoptions by Deborah Gray
Written primarily for professionals but a helpful resource for parents as well, in this book, Gray explains how neglect, trauma and prenatal exposure to drugs or alcohol affect brain and emotional development and how to recognize these effects and attachment challenges in children. She also provides ways to help children settle into new families and home and school approaches that encourage children to flourish.

The Out of Sync Child by Carol Kranowitz (recommended by Nicole Renee and Kelly Raudenbush)
Kranowitz offers comprehensive, clear information about sensory processing challenges and drug-free strategies.

The Out of Sync Child Grows Up by Carol Kranowitz
Picking up where The Out of Sync Child left off, Kranowitz offers practical advice on living with sensory processing challenges as our children become tweens and teens, covering social and emotional aspects of grooming, dating, playing sports and music, etc.

The Out of Sync Child Has Fun by Carol Kranowitz (recommended by Nicole Renee)
A companion book to The Out of Sync Child, this book presents over 100 activities to bring fun and play to everyday for children who face challenges with touch, balance, movement, body position, vision, hearing, smell, taste, etc.

Parenting From the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel
Siegel offers parents ways to form a deeper understanding of their own life stories and attachments so that they can better help their children navigate their life stories and attachments.

Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen
Play is the work of children to explore the world, communicate deep feelings, build connections. From eliciting a giggle during baby’s first game of peekaboo to cracking jokes with a teenager, Playful Parenting is a complete guide to using play to raise confident children. Written with love and humor and grounded in research, this book will make you laugh as it encourages you to be a playful parent.

Raising a Secure Child by Kent Hoffman (recommended by Amy Brady)
Building on Circle of Security strategies, this book encourages parents to balance nurturing and protectiveness with promoting independence, consider the emotional needs your child may be expressing through challenging behavior, and how your own history affects your parenting style and what you can do about it.

Recipes for Fostering by Andrea Warman
Foster families share their favorite family-friendly recipes that have worked for them and their kids from hard starts. They also share their experience of using shopping, cooking, and mealtime to build relationship.

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas (recommended by Kelly Raudenbush)
Sacred Marriage explores how marriage trains us to love God and others well, how it exposes sin and makes us more aware of God’s presence, how good marriages foster good prayer, how married sex feeds the spiritual life, and more.

Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas (recommended by Kelly Raudenbush)
This is unlike most parenting books. Rather than a “how-to” book that helps parents change their kids, Sacred Parenting discusses how God uses our kids to change us. Parenting is a school for spiritual formation, and our children are our teachers. It affirms the spiritual value of being a parent, showing you the holy potential of the parent-child relationship for all of us.

Serving Without Sinking by John Hindley (recommended by the Raudenbushs)
Required reading for The Sparrow Fund’s orphanage trip teams, this book discusses not only how to serve but why we serve, reminding us of who we are and who He is.

Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson (recommended by the Raudenbushs)
Thompson provides theological and practical tools necessary to dismantle the shame that binds us and helps us identify our own broken places and find freedom from lifelong negative messages.

To Be Titled Journal printed by Mark and Kelly Raudenbush
Designed for you to go deeper individually and to create an opportunity to connect with your spouse. This is the tool introduced in the breakout session Connecting as Husbands and Wives Together Called. Copies are available via email (info@sparrow-fund.org).

Understanding Your Child’s Sensory Signals by Angie Voss (recommended by Amy Brady)
This practical handbook helps parents, teachers, and caregivers pause to consider if a child’s behavior may be driven by a sensory challenge and strategies to help.

CHILDREN’S TITLES

A Safe Place for Rufus by Jill Seeney
Written to help children navigate change and transition and subsequent uncertainty and fear, this title comes with a guide in the back for parents to use to discuss the text, pictures, and underlying emotions on every page and encourage children to share their own.

Ana’s Song: A Tool for the Prevention of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Carolyn Byers Ruch
Ana’s Song helps begin the conversation if you desire to protect your daughter from sexual abuse or you suspect or know she has been wounded by it. Appropriate for ages 4 and up.

Bobby Gilliam, Brave and Strong by Carolyn Byers Ruch
Bobby Gilliam helps begin the conversation if you desire to protect your son from sexual abuse and pornography or you suspect or know he has been wounded by it. Appropriate for ages 4 and up.

Elfa and the Box of Memories by Michelle Bell
This is an excellent book for children struggling in navigating memories, both good and bad. As Elfa pieces together her story, she learns that sharing the memories with someone and then putting them in a safe place is the only way she can take off her burden and live freely.

Everything Counts by Steven Case
For generations, people have been touched by Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost For His Highest. Now Everything Counts presents his work in this daily devotional in a new and fresh form designed to speak to teens.

Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones (recommended by all of us)
Our favorite children’s Bible, readers will come to see how every part of God’s word from Noah to Moses to the great King David points to Jesus.

Just Between Us by Meredith and Sophie Jacobs (recommended by Kelly and Ashlyn Raudenbush)
Includes writing prompts and fun activities to build connection between mother and daughter. Use the framework to start and consider using the journal to create some special face-to-face connections too.

Searching for the You We Adore by Valerie Westfall (recommended by all of us) $20
General enough to read to children adopted domestically or internationally, Searching For The You We Adore is a story of a family’s journey and unconditional love…and is our personal favorite. Note: Valerie Westfall gifted all her stock to The Sparrow Fund to bless families. Copies are available exclusively via The Sparrow Fund.

Searching for the You We Adore Activity Book by Valerie Westfall $5
A fun activity book that compliments Searching For The You We Adore and helps you stretch the book a little further for your family. Note: Valerie Westfall gifted all her stock to The Sparrow Fund to bless families. Copies are available via email (info@sparrow-fund.org).

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Together Called Swag

What’s the magic word?

Believe it or not, it’s not please.

It’s not sorry or thank you or hello. It’s actually together. Science says so.

Some years ago, social scientists put willing participants in small groups and then separated them to work on difficult puzzles on their own. Some participants were told that they would be working on the puzzles together even though they were separated into different rooms and that they would share strategies with their teammates. Other participants never heard the word together at all. They were were still promised help though, but their strategy sharing would be with the researchers only. All the participants were doing the same puzzles and getting the same measure of support really; the only difference was the feeling produced by being told they were working together. In the end, the participants who believed they were working together with a team endured the challenges 48% longer, solved more puzzles correctly, and had better recall of the challenges when it was over. Also, compared to the other participants, their own reports showed that they felt less physically tired and less depleted by the challenge and that they weren’t as frustrated with the challenge itself.

It’s remarkable really.

There’s something powerful about being reminded that we are part of a team–and we are. There something powerful about knowing that we are not facing whatever challenge is before us alone–because we aren’t. That awareness of togetherness literally changes us, giving us precisely what we need to be producers of change around us. It almost is a magic elixir. So magic in fact that in celebration of our 5th annual Together Called retreat, we are wearing reminders.

These shirts are cute and comfy in and of themselves. But, they and the matching hand-stamped necklaces we’re selling right now are more than cute; they are wearable post-it notes, wearable ribbons on our fingers to remind us that we are not alone, that our family whole is better than the sum of it’s parts even in the midst of hard things. We don’t have it all together; but we’re better together.

 

We’re offering these only as a flash sale. All orders are due by Friday. Together Called attendees can order by filling out the form HERE.

Not attending Together Called 2017 but want to order some goodies? Email info@sparrow-fund.org and let us know. We’re glad to let you in on the Together Called loot.

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Sneak Peek at Together Called 2017 Breakout Sessions

In addition to hearing from Nate and Sara Hagerty during the keynote sessions, Together Called 2017 attending couples have the opportunity to hear from others who have been prayerfully preparing to share Saturday afternoon during two different breakout times. Here’s a sneak peek at what will be shared this year and who is sharing.

HIS: Bringing Out the Best in Her – Jeff Nitz
Whether she is Super Mom or is running on fumes, you play a critical role as your wife’s parenting partner. What should that look like? Unwavering support? Gentle challenge? How do we address concerns? And, where does the priority of our marriage versus our parenting fit in? Come and hear as Jeff leads in a discussion about how we can help our wives to be all that God intends for them to be–for her sake, for our sake, for our children’s sake.

About the speaker:
Jeff has spent the past 30 years working in the field of child welfare social work with experience in foster care, residential treatment, foster care adoption, international and domestic infant adoption as well as Safe Families For Children. For the past 21 years, he has served in various capacities for Bethany Christian Services, currently as the Sr. Vice-President of Adoption and Family Services where he helps to lead the U.S. based service and marketing teams. Jeff has been married for over 30 years to his college sweetheart, Cheryl, and counts her as his very best friend. Together, they are the parents of four adult children ages 24 to 38, two of whom were adopted. Jeff and Cheryl attend New Life Presbyterian Church in Dresher, PA where Jeff serves as an elder and together he and Cheryl are involved in marriage ministry. As a licensed clinical social worker, he also enjoys serving with his wife in providing counsel to couples who are struggling in their marriage.

HERS: Bringing Out the Best in Him – Cheryl Nitz
Whether he is Super Dad or is running on fumes, you play a critical role as your husband’s parenting partner. What should that look like? Unwavering support? Gentle challenge? How do we address concerns? And where does the priority of our marriage versus our parenting fit in? Come and hear as Cheryl leads us in a discussion about how we can help our husbands to be all that God intends for them to be–for his sake, for our sake, for our children’s sake.

About the speaker:
Cheryl Nitz, ACSW, LCSW has worked in the field of adoption and foster care for over 30 years. In 1997, she began specializing in working with families impacted by adoption, trauma, and attachment challenges and is now a therapist and the Director of the Attachment & Bonding Center of PA where she and her staff are committed to joining with parents to help their children find hope and healing through the love and security their families provide. In addition to her professional experience, Cheryl often says her best education has come from being a parent with her husband to their four kids (two of whom came to the family through adoption) and grandparent to four. She presents as a fellow sojourner, sharing with other adoptive parents joys and challenges and lessons learned both in the trenches at the Nitz home and from the families with whom she has had the privilege of working.

Building a Circle of Security – Amy Brady
Imagine what it might feel like if you were able to make sense of what your child was really asking from you. The Circle of Security® Parenting™ program is based on decades of research about how secure parent–child relationships can be supported and strengthened. It strives to work with parents to help them (a) understand their child’s emotional world by learning to read emotional needs, (b) support their child’s ability to successfully manage emotions, (c) enhance the development of their child’s self esteem, and (d) honor the innate wisdom and desire for their child to be secure. As a registered Circle of Security® parent facilitator, Amy will share a brief overview of the program and ways to build security into the attachment you are developing and deepening with your child.

About the speaker:
After being a national conference speaker, Bible teacher, and Bible study author for over a decade, God began to reveal His greatest journey for Amy and the Brady family yet by steering them down the adoption road. From years of waiting for her daughters to arrive to years waiting for God to send a reprieve from the most difficult places on the adoption road, Amy has journeyed with God into places, hidden and sometimes dark, or beautiful and filled with light to find one thing in them all: He is there. Amy and her husband John just celebrated 25 years of marriage. They have 4 children and a beloved daughter-in-law. Amy is cofounder of PAUSE, a postadoption support network, and is a registered Circle of Security parent facilitator.

Tuning Into God – Anna Balfour
What if when you “tuned into God,” you sometimes, just sometimes, felt He spoke back to you? Maybe not in an audible voice but perhaps an impression, a sense of someone you should reach out to or pray for, or something you felt you needed to do or check out? And then later, you discover you were spot on. What might happen to us in our walk with God, in our relationship with Him, if we expected Him to speak personally to us? Come to this session, listen to stories, and learn how to do that and practice it, believing that God will show up!

About the speaker:
Anna and her husband Doug, two Brits, have done a few wacky things over the last 30 odd years including working with street children in Columbia, working in Liberia between the civil wars in the early 90s, living by faith and living in community with young children. They moved 10 years ago to the USA to live in the ‘burbs with their their three teenagers. In every circumstance, they have had to rely on God, expecting Him to speak and lead. He always showed up! Anna is a clinical psychologist specializing in schema therapy. She is also a motivational speaker who is passionate about helping men and women be all God created them to be and do all He has laid out for them.

How We Can Love the Wounded and Protect Our Children – Carolyn Ruch
We’re all in the trenches with a mission to love deeply and protect fiercely. Maybe there are children in your home who have been wounded by sexual abuse. Maybe you were wounded yourself and want to make sure you are doing all you can to protect your children. Maybe you have a heart to fight the fight for the most vulnerable. Come to this session ready to learn as Carolyn reminds you of your call to love and encourages you in ways to do that well and teaches four simple and specific relational action steps that will build trust and increase prevention against sexual abuse.

About the speaker:
Carolyn is an author, speaker, child advocate, survivor support group leader, and founder of the Rise and Shine Movement. But, her role as mother to seven children (three biological, one adopted, and three foster) is where she’s had her most joyous successes . . . and her most painful failures. Carolyn has protected and won, protected and lost. She joins you in the trenches as we fight for our children’s safety and bring healing to the wounded.

Connecting as Husbands and Wives Together Called – Mark and Kelly Raudenbush
Parenting is no easy thing. It’s a task that requires a large part of our personal resources, especially as we seek to meet the needs of our children with hard starts. As we pour ourselves out to connect with our kids, so often even the best partners in parenting find that we can fall away from the practice of connecting with each other. Come to this session to be reminded of how nurturing our foundational relationships individually with Christ and with our spouse can help us best nurture our children and to learn one new way that we as husbands and wives and fathers and mothers can do it in the midst of our inevitable busyness.

About the speakers:
Married over 18 years, Mark and Kelly Raudenbush are passionate about serving together as a team. They founded The Sparrow Fund in 2011, having been changed by the adoption of their youngest child and desiring to meet what they saw as a need among adoptive families. While Kelly serves families as a therapist through the Attachment & Bonding Center of PA, they work side-by-side as Mark is the Director of Operations for a large nonprofit’s efforts serving students in Asia. They consider it a joy to pour into mothers and fathers who are eager to do the right thing for their families, encouraging parents to understand their own hearts more clearly as they seek to care for the hearts of their children. Mark and Kelly have 4 children, their youngest joining the family through adoption from China.

Same-Page Discipline and Correction – Jeff and Cheryl Nitz
God definitely made us different. Each of us has our own childhood history, personality, and life experiences that contribute to making us the kind of parent that we are. Even more than in marriage, parenting can really highlight those differences. Discipline and correction specifically can be challenging, even though ultimately we want the same thing! Join Jeff and Cheryl as they share some of their own journey as adoptive parents and offer thoughts on how to work through differences and become an even more powerful parenting team.

About the speakers:
Jeff and Cheryl Nitz bring both professional and personal experience as they offer insights, challenges, and encouragement to families whom God has brought together through adoption. Jeff is the Sr. Vice President of Adoption & Family Services for Bethany Christian Services. Cheryl is a therapist and the Director of the Attachment & Bonding Center of PA, specializing in working with families impacted by adoption, trauma, and attachment challenges. But, Jeff and Cheryl often say their best education has come from being parents to their four kids (two of whom came to the family through adoption) and grandparents to four. Most importantly, Jeff and Cheryl are presenting as fellow sojourners—sharing with other adoptive parents the joys and challenges and lessons learned and deeply committed to fostering a fun, growing, supportive marriage in the midst of chaos!

Where Are My Green Pastures? – Stephanie Smit
If the Lord is our shepherd, shouldn’t we be enjoying some green pastures? Perhaps your adoption journey has felt much more like the valley of the shadow of death than green pastures. Maybe His leading was clear and easy to follow early on in your adoption process; but, now that you are home, the new reality feels as if you’ve been left without a shepherd. Sometimes it’s just the day-to-day living that leaves us longing for some refreshment and green pastures. Whatever your circumstance, if you want to know more of the green pastures Psalm 23 promises for you specifically, come to dig deeper into the “what” and the “how” of green pastures. Using Biblical truth and practical applications, you will walk away with encouragement that you can embrace now and bring home with you.

About the speaker:
After 18 years as an elementary teacher, Stephanie transitioned to home as she and her husband Matt grew grew their family. Through struggles with infertility, joys of an unexpected pregnancy, stress of one adoption, challenges of an another independent international adoption, navigating the many surgeries of her cleft affected daughters, and simply raising three girls so close in age, she has seen God’s mighty hand and clear leading. Stephanie and her husband serve as board members of The Sparrow Fund and on the leadership team for Together Called. This past January, she joined The Sparrow Fund’s team as the primary teacher to serve in an orphanage in South China. Stephanie counts it a privilege to connect with and encourage those called to adopt.

The Nuts and Bolts of Family Worship – Philip and Jessica Morlan
Teaching our children to trust and follow Jesus is a great privilege and responsibility. In this breakout session, Philip and Jessica Morlan, our weekend worship leaders, will give encouragement on how to impress God’s Word on the hearts of your children. They’ll share from their personal journey and give ideas on how to shepherd your children to Jesus as you go through life.

About the speakers:
Philip and Jessica Morlan are worship leaders and teachers for Seeds Family Worship. They partner with churches around the country leading multigenerational worship events that equip families to seek God together. They are blessed with five amazing kids (two through adoption) and love to encourage families to live out their faith at home.

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