Hi I posted a comment on Kelly Radenbush’s facebook page…can you view it from there? Maybe she can share it with you.
Janet
Don’t guilt yourself. In a perfect world staying in a childs birth country with their original parents would always be the best thing for them. But that just isn’t always the case or even an option. Don’ think just about the things he has lost not being in his birth country, think of all of the things he has gained by being here… formost, he has YOU, he has a family that loves him. The Family that God created just for him! We may not always understand the Father’s plan for us but it is always perfect.
As a Korean adult adoptee and adoptive parent to a son born in Korea, this is a topic near and dear to my heart. Although I believe that keeping children in their birth culture is oober-important and am psyched that Koreans have come so far in adoption, I must admit I was sad that they may be closed before we could get back to adopt again. I have this pipe dream of going back for a girl. That’s a little off topic.
Anyway, I am hugely saddened to know that there is still quite a stigma associated with adoption. I shouldn’t be so surprised. Everyone has to start somewhere. If we’re honest, they are exactly where Americans were 40 years ago when adoptions were still dirty family secrets and many didn’t find out they were adopted until adulthood.
I hate to think of the children who are growing up in such a web of lies but am praying that God redeems that situation and it’s the start of a much healthier adoption culture in Korea in the future. The selfish part of me wants to say that they’d be better off in America. But really, I think it’s a necessary stage to getting to a place where we’ll be 100% excited for Korea because we can be confident that kids are staying in their birth culture and being celebrated for their beautiful stories.
Unfortunately this is one of those times that living in a fall world sucks all around.
I personally think that some pelope do it as an attempt at connecting with their surrendering mother. I’ve also dangled the idea of emotions developing into our bodies when in womb received from our mothers. Some of our surrendering mothers contemplated adoption throughout our entire development. I’ve always wondered if the emotions of my mother being stressed out could have implanted themselves into my cells during my development in her body somehow. Like an emotional blueprint to the mothers well being at the time of the fetus’s growth may impact a surrender in the childs life years later. Just a theory of course, one of which I have nothing to back it with. Of course some are going to whine about me only saying my opinion and not giving a balanced view as if I’m under some sort of obligation to do so. For those pelope it could also be bad timing, the right thing to do, a selfless act, a noble woman who realized she sucked and couldn’t parent her child so she made a loving adoption plan, soon to be called a crack whore birthmom by the very pelope who called her noble years earlier. Someone who wanted to continue college, maybe they had student loans, dreams? were raped, didn’t want to parent, or all of the other reasons all of us have known and heard before
Hi I posted a comment on Kelly Radenbush’s facebook page…can you view it from there? Maybe she can share it with you.
Janet
Don’t guilt yourself. In a perfect world staying in a childs birth country with their original parents would always be the best thing for them. But that just isn’t always the case or even an option. Don’ think just about the things he has lost not being in his birth country, think of all of the things he has gained by being here… formost, he has YOU, he has a family that loves him. The Family that God created just for him! We may not always understand the Father’s plan for us but it is always perfect.
As a Korean adult adoptee and adoptive parent to a son born in Korea, this is a topic near and dear to my heart. Although I believe that keeping children in their birth culture is oober-important and am psyched that Koreans have come so far in adoption, I must admit I was sad that they may be closed before we could get back to adopt again. I have this pipe dream of going back for a girl. That’s a little off topic.
Anyway, I am hugely saddened to know that there is still quite a stigma associated with adoption. I shouldn’t be so surprised. Everyone has to start somewhere. If we’re honest, they are exactly where Americans were 40 years ago when adoptions were still dirty family secrets and many didn’t find out they were adopted until adulthood.
I hate to think of the children who are growing up in such a web of lies but am praying that God redeems that situation and it’s the start of a much healthier adoption culture in Korea in the future. The selfish part of me wants to say that they’d be better off in America. But really, I think it’s a necessary stage to getting to a place where we’ll be 100% excited for Korea because we can be confident that kids are staying in their birth culture and being celebrated for their beautiful stories.
Unfortunately this is one of those times that living in a fall world sucks all around.
I personally think that some pelope do it as an attempt at connecting with their surrendering mother. I’ve also dangled the idea of emotions developing into our bodies when in womb received from our mothers. Some of our surrendering mothers contemplated adoption throughout our entire development. I’ve always wondered if the emotions of my mother being stressed out could have implanted themselves into my cells during my development in her body somehow. Like an emotional blueprint to the mothers well being at the time of the fetus’s growth may impact a surrender in the childs life years later. Just a theory of course, one of which I have nothing to back it with. Of course some are going to whine about me only saying my opinion and not giving a balanced view as if I’m under some sort of obligation to do so. For those pelope it could also be bad timing, the right thing to do, a selfless act, a noble woman who realized she sucked and couldn’t parent her child so she made a loving adoption plan, soon to be called a crack whore birthmom by the very pelope who called her noble years earlier. Someone who wanted to continue college, maybe they had student loans, dreams? were raped, didn’t want to parent, or all of the other reasons all of us have known and heard before