Adoption is not Plan B.
Not for us.
We have never looked at it this way, but in conversations with quite a few well-intentioned folks, I realize that the general population often views it that way.
“You know you’ll get pregnant as soon as you finish your adoption.”
“I know a lot of people ‘your age’ who are looking toward adoption because they can’t get pregnant.”
“Do you want to have your own children?”
I’ve learned that adoption is often viewed by many (on the outside looking in) as the consolation prize. Plan A didn’t work. So you’re settling for what is available.
I disagree and so would all the other adoptive parents I’ve ever met.
There is no Plan B.
The journey to adoption is NOT a surprise to God. He’s wasn’t caught off guard by the reasons or the path. For some it’s infertility or health reasons. For others it is how God calls them to add to their family.
For us, it’s because God is made it ABUNDANTLY clear that we are to adopt. Now.
Many people assume because we are adopting first that biological children are not an option for us. At this point, we have not heard otherwise, so we hope to welcome a freckled, type-A, northern/southern hybrid into our lives one day.
But whatever happens, it will be Plan A.
We are adopting now because there is a need, and we have a call. In the DRC alone, there are 5 million orphaned children.
We could not get that figure out of our minds and hearts. There was no reason good enough to hold off on adopting until we had biological children. We couldn’t stop talking about adoption. We needed to start the process.
We know it doesn’t make sense to most of the world. God made it clear, so we’re just following.
Any child brought into our home, biological or adopted, will be real and be our own. We pray that others will come to understand that as well, but we also know that we have the privilege of telling the story of redemption and grace each time someone questions our family dynamic.
The story of Plan A for our family.
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Leslie has been married to her husband Brian for a little over 2 years. They live in Montgomery, Alabama where Leslie works for a nonprofit agency and Brian is a student pastor. They are passionate about caring for the orphan and have helped start ONEfamily, an adoption, foster care, and orphan care ministry in their church. Their free time is made up of watching football, eating Mexican food, and spending time with their rambunctious puppy, Knox. They have chosen to adopt first and are currently awaiting a referral of one or two children from the Democratic Republic of Congo. You can read more about their adventures here.
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So glad to hear your attitude going into this. We have two homegrown children and one by way of Uganda so people always ask us why we would adopt when we could “have” our own kids. Its drives me crazy!! Honestly adoption was plan A for me but I was specifically told to wait for Uganda to open and it didn’t until 2009 so thats why I waited. Thank you for your post. Praying for your impact and ministry (as a pastor’s family ourselves!).
Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen….one Amen for each of my children…the children God has blessed me as their mother. As Plan A. Via adoption.
Amen. Although we did get pregnant just 2 months after we started the adoption process, we were already called to adoption and have continued the process passionately. Lots of people haven’t understood, but we know it was God’s plan for our family all along.
Thank you !!!
I had adopted friends growing up and thought it was the greatest thing. I decided at about age 16 that I wanted to adopt. It definitely wasn’t plan B for me, but it took a little while to convince hubby … the whole homestudy thing freaked him out.
I LOVE this! I have wanted to adopt since high-school (I’m in my mid-twenties now), and when I met my husband in college it was a dating pre-requisite for me (he was totally on-board!). 🙂 We have been blessed with a biological son and are starting the process to bring our first adopted child home. People cannot wrap their heads around why we wouldn’t want to have “at least one more of our own.” I want to scream every time I hear that phrase. We are completely and utterly thrilled to be adopting…it is the Plan A for us, as well. Thank you for writing this – I’m linking it to my Facebook page!