She”s beautiful just the way she is. Each hair an uncanny reminder of who God made her to be. African, tightly wound, a coil of boundless energy, full of spunk, with a mind of her own, and wild. I”m glad I remembered that before we decided to change it.
Satan speaks his lies in the subtlest of ways. And he is relentless…and his lies so predictable. “You don”t have what it takes to care for her,” he whispers. He”s been whispering this since the day she imprinted herself on my heart. Most of the time, I don”t pay any attention. Most of time, I remember all of the ways that God has made her mine and marvel at the miracle of adoption.
But sometimes….sometimes, his whisper sneaks it”s way inside. It wraps itself around my heart and I feel that familiar sadness. I feel all of the distance and the differences that separate her from me. The flesh and blood and DNA that prove that the miracle of her had nothing to do with me. And sometimes, in that state, I come up with ways to minimize the differences, and convince myself that it”s best for all of us.
So, we almost relaxed Hope”s hair last month. I came really close. I”m not saying we won”t do it someday. I don”t have firm feelings on whether it”s right or wrong. I don”t really think it”s a moral issue. But, if we do it someday, it won”t be so that I can avoid learning ALL I need to know to properly care for her naturally beautiful hair texture. And it certainly won”t be so that I don”t have to think about our differences.
I”m glad I was reminded that it doesn”t honor Hope when I pretend we aren”t different. Because we are. And most of the time, I remember that that is something to celebrate! I don”t need us to be the same. I don”t want us to be the same.
And besides, what does flesh and blood and DNA know about love, anyway?
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Amanda lives in Canon City, Colorado with her husband Loren where he serves as the Young Life area director. She is a stay-at-home mom to three fabulous kids, all adopted, and all girls, which means she also spends a lot of time sweeping up glitter. Recently, she has begun serving as the team leader for YoungLives, Young Life’s ministry to teen moms. She blogs whenever the mood hits about adoption, ministry, and raising girls.
Great post! Love that last paragraph. “I’m glad I was reminded that it doesn’t honor Hope when I pretend we aren’t different. Because we are. And most of the time, I remember that that is something to celebrate!” Yes! Yes! Yes!!
This is something I am seeing more and more. Our differences are what make us strong when we work together. They are the very things that should be celebrated about us. 🙂
My 2 Haitian born daughters came home at 6 months and 23 months. They are now 12 and 14. When they were little we kept their hair parted in sections with 2 strand twists and colorful barretts . As they got older that began to seem a little babyish for them. For 5 yrs. now our older daughter’s hair has been loced. Her locs are now down to the middle of her back. Because we loced her hair in tiny sections, parted on a grid, she can “style” them like long hair; ponytail, braids, etc. We loced our younger daughters’ hair about 3 yrs. ago and her hair is now below her shoulders. She likes to curl her locs with sponge rollers. Her locs also looks beautiful pulled up on top her head as Hope’s in in the picture. We love the versatility of locs and the upkeep is not that involved. We shampoo and condition as needed and give the girls a hot oil treatment occasionally. We spray their locs with an oil spray occasionally too. We tighten the locs when there is about an inch of new growth; roughly every 4-6 weeks. It’s a lot easier than picking out and parting hair and has been especially beneficial for our younger daughter who is extremely tenderheaded.