this morning Nolan & I were walking to the mailbox’s in our complex to drop off a letter & get our mail

side note: how much do you love getting handwritten notes?! it makes me so happy. I need to write more of them.

anyway, as I was walking with my 1 year old on my hip, hair in a messy bun, no makeup on, I began to stare at the little bandaids on Nolan’s legs from his shots earlier in the morning.

I remembered that sad, screaming look of pain on his face as he got his shots and how after they were over, he was immediately comforted as he hugged me and cried into my shoulder. and how I would have given anything to take the pain of those shots from him.

and then a barney song popped into my head. obviously.
it goes like this

“a family is people and a family is love
that’s a family
they come in all different sizes and different kinds
and mines just right for me”

and then I cried.
at the mailbox
and kissed my baby
and marveled at the miracle of LOVE
and the miracle of FAMILY
and the miracle of a God that loves and creates families in so many different ways

I looked at my son.
My child that I would give up my heart, my kidney, my very breath for.
my baby that did not grow in my belly for 9 months.
my baby who I did not birth. I didn’t hold him on my chest the moment he was born.
my husband did not cut his umbilical cord.
on the day he was born I had no idea of the trials he would face in his first few moments, weeks and months of life
my son who has another mom who gave him life. a mom who, despite her faults and struggles and addictions, loves him very much
my baby who I did not even know about until we got a call on December 9, 2011
my son who I did not meet until he was almost 5 months old
my son that I fell immediately in love with when I saw his picture for the first time
my son who came to be in our family by a knock at the door as social workers brought him to his home.
his forever family.
his mom & dad.
family is a miracle.
love wins & endures.

people often wonder (but usually are too afraid to ask) if you can REALLY love a child that is not biologically yours. that’s a difficult question. I’ve never had a biological child to compare it to but I can tell you this.

I love Nolan with a love that I have never known before. The love of a mother for her child. There is no comparison, no explanation, just pure love. I can’t imagine ever loving a child more. my love for him grew as we waited to be matched so although we didn’t meet him for months we loved him already.

None of this has anything to do with me. It has everything to do with God and His love that allows me to love others the way he does. God’s love teaches me how to love & respect & pray for Nolan’s birth mom. God’s love gives me patience and gratitude for social workers and state welfare and medical. God’s love covers my selfishness and mistakes. God’s love gives me the freedom to love a child that did not grow in my womb. God’s love made Marc a father who works to provide and loves his family selflessly.

God’s love created our family.
And for that I am thankful.

_________________________________

 

Kara is wife to Marc and together they are foster-adoptive parents to their first child, a 1 year old boy who they are in the process of adopting. It has been the most rewarding adventure navigating the CA foster care system and her life is forever changed as her eyes have been opened to waiting children in her own backyard. Kara loves reading, chasing after her baby, blogging, watching LOST, and sipping coffee with her hubby. If she had it her way she would adopt a bajillion kids (okay maybe 6…..or 10). She blogs about faith, family & adoption at sunrisesunsetblog.com