We didn’t have a clue.
As we blissfully stood posing for pictures following our wedding ceremony, we had no idea how God would write our family’s story, the twists and turns our story would take, the struggles we would face.
We were completely clueless.
Had you asked me I would have told you that we would soon work on having a couple biological children and would later adopt. Although I wouldn’t have known to reveal it, if you had seen my plans, my version of our story, the story would unfold very “normally” on a very “normal” schedule with me being the primary person in control of its unfolding. God would be there, for sure, but if I were to be honest, He would fill the role of blessing my plans.
We didn’t have a clue that getting pregnant would not come easily. No clue that fertility specialists would soon be part of our future, specialists who would tell us that we were delusional to think we could get pregnant. No clue that the God I imagined cheering my plans for a family on would become the God who held me together in heartache as He nudged me from the driver’s seat.
We didn’t have a clue about the family God had in mind for us as we posed for this picture celebrating that we were DTC back in October 2006, seated at a local Chinese restaurant with a newly purchased panda bear in the background.
No clue that the 11 month wait to adopt from China would stretch into 14 months and eventually 3.5 years. No clue that God would be pressing into my plans with His whisper of, “Not yet. Wait.”
No clue that less than a year after that picture was taken we would find ourselves miraculously pregnant — with no medical intervention — after many fertility treatments and a failed IVF. No clue that God would show Himself to be the God of surprises and miracles.
No clue that 9 months later we would not be holding our Chinese daughter, but our biological daughter, Miss E.
No clue that 1.5 years after her birth we would change course in our adoption and commit to a special needs adoption and, six months later, come home with our precious Miss A. No clue that God would so obviously be our source of strength during that adoption trip, proving himself to be the never-leaving, always-guiding God who comforts the weary and whispers, “This is the child.”
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No clue that less than a year after coming home with Miss A, God would show us another daughter in a country we had very little — if any — knowledge of. No clue that God would so clearly answer our prayers of, “Who?” No clue that He would call us to an independent foreign adoption in which He would become our source of bravery and courage nudging pushing us into unknown territory whispering, “Trust me.”
No clue that only six months later we would be bringing that daughter, Miss L, home. No clue that we would see God’s work and miracles so clearly in her adoption story as He moved bureaucratic mountains with ease saying, “Nothing is too difficult for me.”
No clue that we would become the parents to not one, but three beautiful daughters with three different nationalities within five years of that wedding picture. No clue that as we were singing, “Jesus, Be the Center” during our wedding ceremony God was most likely whispering, “Hang on! I’m about to show you what having me at the center looks like.”
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Yep, we were pretty clueless back then. And it’s a good thing. Had God filled me in on the plans He had for building our family I would have said, “No way! That’s crazy! I can’t do that. It’ll never happen.”
I would have thrown out every excuse in the book. It sounds too hard. Too complicated. Too expensive. Too abnormal. Too risky. (Don’t we all just want normal? Easy? Typical? I know I did — and honestly I still crave it!)
But God is God. And He can work through anybody to do anything to reveal Himself more fully.
Even an over-emotional, non-risk-taking, clueless worry-wart like me.
Glory be!
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18 years in the classroom as a teacher was easy compared to parenting three little ones at home full-time. Through their three daughters, God has revealed Himself most clearly to Stephanie and her husband Matthew. He not only worked a miracle in giving them their biological daughter, He continued to show Himself in mighty ways throughout adoption journeys in China and Bhutan that were anything but normal. Nowadays she enjoys encouraging and connecting with other adoptive families through speaking and her work on the leadership team of “We Are Grafted In” and on the Board of The Sparrow Fund. You can read more about their family on their personal blog We Are Family.
Yes!!!! God’s story is so much better than what we can even dream up! Love your family!