Category: Adoption and Faith

How adoption and faith are connected

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Amelia’s Rest

It is Saturday night.

I am rocking Amelia in the dark, trying to listen to the crickets outside rather than my own sharp and raspy lullaby. Amelia touches my lips and “sings” along, and I can tell that she thinks my off-key song is beautiful. I think she’s beautiful. We trace each other’s faces and fingers as we hum.

My mind wanders back several days, to when I showed Amelia a picture of Mama Sarah. Sarah was Amelia’s favorite caretaker in the orphanage. I cannot overstate how much they loved each other. For weeks after Amelia came home to us, we would get Amelia to smile for photos by yelling “Sarah” in a Ugandan accent.

I always want Amelia to know Sarah’s face, the first face that she knew as love…

And so last week, I showed Amelia a picture of herself with Mama Sarah.

Amelia laughed, grabbing for the laptop and yelling her baby-talk version of “Sarah.” She stared for a long time. Then Amelia turned to me, cried, and slapped me in the face.

My baby slapped me in the face. She hasn’t done that since Africa.

I know, baby. You miss Sarah, and you’re mad that I’m not her.

I think about this as I sing to sleepy Amelia in the dark…about my baby slapping my face, and how she both loves me and resists me…how she has bonded to us more quickly than we ever imagined, and how there is still so much bonding to be done.

Before long, Amelia is deep asleep in my arms, body limp and breath deep. I linger in her room for a long time, relishing this rare moment when I as an adoptive mother am recognized by my baby as her safety; her comfort; her rest. This isn’t the daily norm for Amelia. It is different for her than it was for our biological daughter Caroline. Even at the age of three, Caroline’s instinct is still to yell “mama” when she is hurt or scared. But Amelia is having to learn what comes naturally to other children: She is having to learn what it means to have a mom.

I just want to be a place of rest for Amelia.

Rest.

The thought hits me like a wave, and I laugh out loud. The word “rest” has been jumping out of Scripture during my quiet times lately. I have stared at the word curiously. I have turned it over and over in my mind, and I have prayed for God to show me what it means to “enter His rest.”

And once again, this tiny brown toddler sleeping in my arms has unknowingly opened my mind to some of the mysteries of God. She has cracked the window of heaven just a bit more for me. I feel the warmth of eternal beams shining around our rocking chair and I know:

REST means knowing who our Father is.

Just as I want Amelia to rest with me as her mother, God wants us to rest with Him as our Father. Rest means trusting that He loves us. Enjoying that He is in control. Ceasing to resist Him.

Rest means learning that His arms are a safe place… And sometimes, as Amelia is teaching me, a place to curl up and sing to Him as He sings over us.

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Rachel Goode

Rachel has been married to her husband Brad for 5 years. They have a 3 year old named Caroline and a 1 year old named Amelia, whom they recently brought home from Uganda. God has used Amelia and adoption to show His love and glory to the Goode family. You can follow their story on their blog.

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My Honor

Originally posted about 8 months ago as Rachel waited…

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When we started our adoption process, I used to cringe at the thought of being gone for so long when we travel to get Amelia. At least 5 weeks without Caroline. At least 3 weeks without my husband, trying to fare with a new baby in a very foreign place. While part of me romanticized Africa, another part knew how difficult my time would be.

I still realize it will be difficult. I am sure it could be one of the more lonely periods of my life. I have heard that many fellow adoptive parents become depressed by the end of trips that go on for weeks or more, especially when they are separated from children and spouses in a place that so lacks familiarity with home.

I have thought about this trip for a year and a half

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Adoption Will Affect Your Biological Children

I have heard it said by others that they would never adopt for fear of how it will affect their biological children.

Since adopting,
our children now:

Love deeper.

Think of others more.

Pray for orphans across the world.

Pray for families adopting by name.

Pray for our sponsored children by name.

Will not let anyone refer to Elijah as their adopted brother,
he is their brother (period).

Save their money to help adoptive families and orphan care ministries.

Share the beauty of adoption.

Share that we were all orphans, adopted through Christ.

I would say they have been affected alright.

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Amy

Amy is the mother of four blessings. She and her husband, Paul, have three biological children and one beautiful blessing from Ethiopia, adopted July 2010. They would love for you to follow their adventures at Filled With Praise.

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Musings of an Adoptive Dad – Part 4

Concluding this series today, I thought I’d post about why we’d do adoption again, particularly international adoption, if God let us. Of course, He just might. But, that’s really up to Him and a discussion to be had later.

First comes the question about money. Money wasn’t an issue when we adopted our little peanut. For our part, I’ll say that we had a few people contribute to the cause, but we also worked really hard on saving for it. It was an expensive process, well over $20,000. That’s a lot of dough. But, God provided. My lovely wife worked some extra, we cut back some, and it came together. Amen. We’re also seeing some of that come back now through the adoption tax credit. Amen to that too. I know others who have struggled significantly. I don’t want to deny that or denigrate them. I will tell you that God provides. Faithful is He who calls you, and He will bring it to pass (1 Thessalonians 5.24). We held tightly to that Truth for so many things through this process.

Second, we’d do it again because through adoption, we changed the world. I don’t mean that in some triumphal, conquering, slam-dunk sort of way. We’re way more humbled by the process than I imagined. But, I also know with great confidence that there’s a little girl sitting in the next room who’s eating breakfast with her brother that this same morning would’ve woken up next to another kid, been untied from her crib, fed porridge because she couldn’t have fed herself, and played the day away with 20 others in a room supervised by 2 nannies. Just now, she walked in having gone to the potty and letting me know that she pulled her big girl undies up “all by myshelf.” It’s not that we changed the entire world. But, we changed it for her and for us and for our sons, our extended family, our church family, our neighbors, and, Lord willing, our grandkids and generations of Hendersons to come.

Third, the need isn’t going away. According to my cool friend, Jon Singletary, there are 120,000 adoptable kids in the U.S. How about this one: 3,000,000 kids in the world ready to adopt. The need isn’t going away. We chose China because it seems about 1,000,000 of those are in China.

Lastly, our family is better because of it. I know some of you walked through the adoption with us, and you saw the sanctifying process that we went through and, hopefully, are seeing its fruit in our lives. I know I can. Perspective. Patience (?). Trust. Compassion. Gospel. Selflessness (?). Love.

I don’t know if God will let us adopt again. I don’t know if He’ll let you adopt. But, it’s amazing.

But that’s just me thinking thoughts…

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Trent Henderson

Trent is the husband of the amazing Ginny and father to the thoughtful Jack, adventurous Sam, and hilarious Ruthie Mei. He also serves as pastor to the saints of Heritage Park Baptist Church near NASA in Houston. He tries to say something worthwhile in his preaching and at his blog. Feel free to go check it out.

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Musings of an Adoptive Dad – Part 3

Because I’m a pastor and think about things in spiritual terms, it’s only appropriate that I spend a moment to comment on how physical adoption reinforced Gospel adoption to me.

Consider…

I didn’t choose God but He chose me because of His great love (Eph. 1.4-5).

I am bought by a significant price and sacrifice on His part (Eph. 1.7).

I am experiencing a life that I never could’ve created on my own (Eph. 2.8-9).

I am, quite literally, a citizen of a different kind of governance (Eph. 2.11-12).

I was a foreigner to God and He took me in, calling me His own son (Eph. 2.13).

I am now a part of a family that is much bigger and cooler than I could’ve imagined (Eph. 2.19).

The beauty of all of this: just as I don’t have a regret in the world, neither does He. Wow.

But that’s just me thinking thoughts…

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Trent Henderson

Trent is the husband of the amazing Ginny and father to the thoughtful Jack, adventurous Sam, and hilarious Ruthie Mei. He also serves as pastor to the saints of Heritage Park Baptist Church near NASA in Houston. He tries to say something worthwhile in his preaching and at his blog. Feel free to go check it out.

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Musings of an Adoptive Dad – Part 1

Having brought adoption up in this sermon I gave at Heritage Park Baptist Church where I serve as the pastor, I thought I’d post some reflections on adoption. First out of the box and hot in my heart right now is adoption is a calling.

What I said in the sermon and I’ve blogged on before I stand behind: I think every Christian couple should ask if God will let you. But throwing the door open like that doesn’t mean there’s not a massive, weighty, spiritual piece to it. Quite the contrary. Should God allow you, you’ll find yourself caught in this gravitational calling and actually depending on it. We did.

I remember when it clicked for us. I remember eating italian food with Ginny and talking about entry into this process. I remember all the waiting.

We waited a year to get a match.

We waited a long time for our PA.

We waited forever for our RA.

We waited longer than anyone under the non-Hague rules for our TA (over 150 days).

We cried while waiting.

We fussed with God and our boys and one another.

We got promises from God. None more precious than 1 Thessalonians 5.24: Faithful is He who calls you and He will bring it to pass. We clung to that truth like a kid to a lollipop. Multiple times, I’d tell myself and my wife that we weren’t going to stand before Jesus someday to give an account for our lives and tell Him that we quit just because the wait was long and too hard. The temptation to give up was there. God’s promises are stronger than the promises of temptation.

I received what I thought was a word of knowledge from the Holy Spirit: January. Turns out that’s the month in which she was born and that’s the month we got matched.

We saw God move in the last minute on both our RA and our TA (posts on my wife’s blog here and here).

We rode roller coasters of unbelievable heights and depths.

None of it – NONE – could we have endured without the sense of calling. It’s what sustained us. And that sense of calling is that gravitational pull toward something, giving weight to what you do and keeping you together when everything else is going supernova around you. We have some friends in the process right now enduring quite a bit of opposition from their family. Harsh words. Sinful attitudes. Guilt. Frustration. Prejudice. You don’t endure those kinds of things (especially from family) with eyes on God without that settling, focusing, steadying weight of calling.

Adoption is a calling. No denying it. But it could be a calling for a lot more families than you know.

But that’s just me thinking thoughts…

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Trent Henderson

Trent is the husband of the amazing Ginny and father to the thoughtful Jack, adventurous Sam, and hilarious Ruthie Mei. He also serves as pastor to the saints of Heritage Park Baptist Church near NASA in Houston. He tries to say something worthwhile in his preaching and at his blog. Feel free to go check it out.

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Mother’s Day Week: The Space {In Between Us}

“Through my pride – Through my shame – You show me love – You show me grace – I’m not looking back – Till I see Your face – I’m running straight to you.” – Building 429

I have never felt God’s pursuit of me more than in my relationship with Mya. He loves me without abandon, the way that I love her. Both of us, adopted. And sometimes, I really feel that space in between us. In between God & I, and in between Mya & I. Through her, I finally understand how much God loves me and cares for me and how much I can hurt His heart.

“Here I am saying I need you – I know I need you – Here I am, I’m coming to meet you – Cause I want to see you.” – Building 429

I have only begun to grasp His Redeeming Love. He has worked miracles in Mya’s life; in our lives, through her. He has revealed to us what He meant by His Commandment, “Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:12). I have admitted during this journey that had someone told me how hard it would be to love someone who didn’t necessarily love you – I would have “passed”. And oh, the joy I would have missed. I am so thankful for the secret things of the Lord (Deuteronomy 29:29) that He chooses to reveal to us at the perfect time.

“All I really want to do is to fall into the emptiness that is the space in-between us. Erase it and bring us together again.” – Building 429

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Sara McClintock

Sara was blessed by marrying her best friend 15 years ago. Then, found The Greatest Love of All in Jesus Christ in 2004. Having already had the privilege to parent two football-loving sons, Sara and Bill had international adoption laid on their hearts. They were blessed beyond belief when they welcomed the cutest, spunkiest Chinese girl from Luoyang into their family in December 2008. Having left pieces of their hearts in China, Bill & Sara are praying for God’s will to retrieve them. Please stop by their family blog for random musings on life, redemption, grace, hope, love and faith.

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