Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that one day I would adopt an eight year old boy China. In fact, if you had told me three years ago that I would now have a nine year old son, I probably would have laughed. Isn’t it beautiful how God works, changing and molding us into the vessel He intends us to be when we open our hearts to him.
When God first revealed to us His plan, I was honestly absolutely terrified at the thought initially, but God whispered in my heart, “Trust Me, dear one” and I settled under the secure wings of my Almighty Father and let Him lead. Adopting an older child is not an easy path, but God didn’t promise that the road would be easy, did He? But has it been rewarding and amazing? Absolutely!
For Anthony’s one year anniversary as our son, we purchased a Bible with his name imprinted on it. I had been waiting for the right time to start showing him how God speaks to us through the Bible and provides us with everything we need to follow Him. I didn’t want to rush things but Holy Spirit has been working in his heart one from the very day he entered our lives.
As we were setting down for our evening routine of a devotional reading, he said, “My heart believes in God, but my sometimes my brain doesn’t understand.” I could feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit to seize this very moment!
I said, “Yes, our brains try to understand, but we will never understand everything about God because He is God and our brain is too small in comparison to Him. Let’s look at verse in Isaiah that talks about this very thing. We can look it up in your new bible!”
So I picked up his new Bible and turned to Is. 55:8-9:
“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your
ways my ways,’
declares the Lord.
‘As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways
higher than your ways
and my thoughts
than your thoughts.'” (NIV)
As Anthony read the verse aloud to me, his eyes grew big and he looked at me and exclaimed rather loudly,
“That is exactly what I was thinking! The Bible is amazing!! I am so happy! I love God with all my heart! My heart is different now.”
Heart pounding . . . tears of joy welling up . . . silent praise to God. This boy, one year ago, had not even heard the name of God!
“Anthony, I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that you understand how God speaks to us from His word. He also tells us that we are new creations because of Christ and have a new heart.”
“Are there verses that tell us that?”
“Oh, yes! Let me show you!”
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Cor. 5:17, NIV)
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ez. 36:26, NIV)
God is working in the heart of my boy who only just heard about God one year ago. Just think, if we hadn’t listened to God’s call, we would have missed out on the amazing work God is doing in his life.
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After struggling with infertility for 5 years, God led Suzanne and her husband, Adam, to His Plan A for their lives—adoption! Their daughter, Grace Lihua, came into their lives May 2011 on Mother’s Day from Fuzhou City, Fujian Province, China. And, their son, Anthony Jianyou, joined their family in January 2013 from Shanghai. After a career in politics, Suzanne now works as a part time Pilates instructor while home schooling their children, writing and working as a part of the Sparrow Fund Blog leadership team. You can follow their adoption journey and life on her blog,Surpassing
Greatness.
There are a lot of countdowns going on here—our biggest annual event Together Called is only days away, and our trip to China to serve at an orphanage pretty much immediately follows.
For months, the team has been raising funds, filling out paperwork, considering schedules and preparing logistically. We’ve been coming together on conference calls so we can work better together as a team, creating t-shirts so we look like a team, and going through material to grow us as we are a part of a bigger team. Some of us have already started packing bags, making sure we squeeze everything in and stay under 40 lbs. which can be a wee bit of a challenge for overthinkers like me. Regardless of who much overthinking we’re doing about those bags, we’re nearly on our way. On February 27th, we’ll be able to put everyone’s faces with the voices we’ve come to recognize from those conferences calls and get on a China-bound flight together.
Though our team numbers only 13 as we serve at an orphanage in Shaanxi, we know our team is exponentially bigger than that. Each one of the home teams of those 13 members from across the country makes this Visit and Serve team huge! What a comfort it is to know that while we may be the hands there doing the work through His grace, the rest of the body is supporting us and enabling us to be there. It’s so not just the 13 of us.
It’s not too late to be a part of the team. You may not be on that plane with us as we nervously chatter and try to cat nap as we’re able, but we want you there. And, you can be. We’re rallying our home teams to lift us up throughout our travel day February 27th-28th in very specific ways. Can you commit 30 minutes on that day to sit with us and advocate for us from your living room as you sip on a cup of coffee? Can you maybe do a harder thing and set your alarm to wake up in the middle of the night to do the same as we are still flying across the world?
Feel that nudge to join us? Email me. I’ll reply with some info for you and maybe my own form of nervous email chatter. Heading back to my daughter’s home city, meeting her ayis, holding the babies who are there waiting can produce some nervous chatter in me.
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Kelly Raudenbush
Forever changed by our experience of being adopted and adopting, Kelly is a stay-at-home mom/manager to 4 children and a professional juggler, juggling her calling as wife and mother with her secondary callings (editing and serving adoptive families through The Sparrow Fund). You can learn more about their adoption story, how they’ve been changed, and what life for them looks like on their personal blog, My Overthinking.
Moments of insecurity reveal my street-raised daughter to have a bark louder than her bite. As we learn Him, He teaches us about her and it’s here that we’re finding her gentleness.
Months ago, we started praying into her the opposite of what we were perceiving from her behavior. We weren’t looking to directly oppose what we saw, but as we asked Him for understanding into her heart, we realized that much of the whirlwind around her was borne from inertia. She had a dormant beauty that never had reason to surface.
And I’ve had too many years taking gulps of worst-case scenario expectations, lived-out. This time, I would try His perspective, first. We prayed it, said it, spoke it over her, and to her. And to ourselves. He was bringing forth beauty, refinement, gentleness. All the things one might say she wasn’t is what we believed He was saying she is.
And His Word speaks a better way.
One particular morning, Eden crawled into my lap and confessed yet another grievance. Hope was “hurting her heart.” It was not a surprise; I’d witnessed some of what she was referencing.
We talked it out. God was clearly using this to develop compassion in Eden’s heart for the broken. As we wrapped up our conversation I said, “Let’s pray and ask God how He sees Hope. Let’s ask Him to give us His eyes for her.”
We prayed, waited, listened.
Eden broke the silence: “Elegant. The word ‘elegant’ came to me, Mommy.” Though tucked away in a book we’d read months ago, it’s not a part of our everyday vocabulary. He spoke through the mouth of a six year-old babe to confirm the course we’d charted in prayer. He was making Hope new and even telling her siblings about it. Beauty initiated by Him, before our naked eyes could see it.
And He is doing it, friends. Under our roof is a greenhouse. It’s messy at times, this workroom of ours, but I can’t ignore the growth. Dirt giving birth to life. New shoots are everywhere and before long it’ll be spring.
I’ve heard from many of you whose stories take on a different shape, but the plight is the same. We share the scars of motherhood, both for children who have been adopted, and those home-grown. You’ve cultivated the dirt and are waiting for spring. You have a Hope in your home and your heart sits, tentative about how to respond. As you wait on her — that “her” for you — might I humbly share some of His counsel to me:
Talk about her beauty, even behind closed-doors. Make it a part of your vernacular. “I can’t say that,” Nate replied to my bleak assessment of the situation, one day. He saw the end, where I was taking stock of the beginning. Nate has been the gatekeeper of our language. I need this.
What we declare — out of fear — in private becomes much easier to believe in her presence. To be her advocate, even closed-door conversations need to come back to the beauty He is bringing forth. To be her advocate, our understanding of her future must be rooted in the promises of His Word. There is no true advocacy apart from Him.
And the power of life and death lies in the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21)
Pray up and in. Adoration was the tool He gave me, early, for this task. To tear down the walls of lies around her heart and life (maybe even spoken over her before her birth) you must first erect Truth in your own life. Battling this blind, is not knowing who He is over your life and your family.
The only perspective that will stand, is His perspective.
Pray His Word back to Him, say His Word back to Him, paste it over your life. And as it takes root in your heart, which it will — because it’s alive — you’ll find it easier to pray it into her.
His Word will be her reality if you just open the door. Morning, noon, and night. It’s waiting. He’s ready-available to re-write your understanding.
Ask Him how He sees her. All day long you will be tempted to be the thermometer on her life. Her behavior has calcified how she sees herself and the enemy is hot on your trail to make you believe the same. In your pain, do not indulge your fear. Much of what you “feel” may actually be in direct opposition to what His Word says is true.
There is no better time than now to sit cross-legged in front of your fireplace, with moleskin journal in hand and a perspective ready to be molded, and ask Him the question that will unlock her heart: Father, how do you see her? Be prepared to take note … with your life.
Tell her who she is and set up memorials around when she walks it out. Behind ten of Hope’s missteps is one heart-move towards beauty. We celebrate the one. When it comes, we acknowledge it, that night we recall it, the next morning we lift it up as the first step in a pattern that will come. “Hope, remember how you cleared Caleb’s plate for him yesterday? That was awesome! Are you ready to do that again today? Let’s ask Jesus to show you more opportunities to love your siblings well today.”
It’s likely she lives covered under a blanket of shame — she’s been telling herself or hearing others remind her what a problem she is. You get to be Jesus’ eyes and search below the dirt for early signs of growth.
Don’t be afraid to respond to and discipline for the ten. ”He disciplines those He loves.” (Hebrews 12:6). Teaching this kind of love — His kind of love — is not pretending there isn’t a chasm of sin to cross or fantasizing a person into reality. Love stares deep into dark and through dark to find beauty. She needs to know you know her dark, and that it will not stand, in order to trust you when you tell her you see beauty. Isn’t that so with us and the Lord?
She needs to know and expect your loving-but-firm response to her sin, as she’s desperate for another’s guardrails on her life. Kids long for guardrails — unchanging guardrails, the same ones yesterday as there will be tomorrow. Children were never intended by Him to control their surroundings.
Be consistently consistent, it’s her safety.
Treat her like the daughter she is, not the orphan she was is the motto in our home.
When her behavior makes you want to retreat, take that as your cue to engage. Restoration love isn’t threatened by sin, it’s activated. When you take a step towards pouring out what you don’t have, He pours in. Give her the love your flesh can’t conjure. Give her the love that requires His overshadowing. He will surprise you, I promise.
Press in. These days are not her days to grow if they aren’t, first, your days to grow. It isn’t “when you get through this” that you’ll find Him. Now is your greatest opportunity to thrive.
These incidents are not accidents and the heart-pain they reveal in you is bigger than your circumstances. As He heals her orphan heart, He is healing yours too. Both are on His radar.
Slow down. Pour out to Him; He can handle your chest-heaving cries. And receive. He has gold for you in this season. And that gold is a greater depth of communion with Him.
And, finally, tell the story. His story. His final word is never doubt, despair or destruction. The testimony of Jesus is being written on your watch. Speak it out as such. When you get the look of pity from a friend who doesn’t quite understand your pain, tell her you are blessed, because you are.
Mamas, these are not your worst days, these days are fodder for a work that will leave you forever changed.
Perspective is everything.
And we get to turn in our frail human constructs of God for His. This is the best of times.
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Sara Hagerty
Sara is a wife to Nate and a mother of four (and one on the way) whose birth canal bridged the expanse between the United States and Africa. After almost a decade of Christian life she was introduced to pain and perplexity and, ultimately, intimacy with Jesus. God met her and moved her when life stopped working. And out of the overflow of this perplexity, came her writing.You can read more of her writing at Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet.
Her lungs took their first swallow of earth’s air in the poor African’s version of a waiting room, while her mama held her place in line for a “free-clinic” bed — one that she never saw. Hope was welcomed by this world into the dirt, and it would indoctrinate her first five years of life.
And from what I can tell, she did street life well.
The skill set required to scavenge for food and beg (simply to get by) is quite different, even, than the one needed to slide into the masses of an orphanage food line. To move from streets to shanty-like slums and back again, over and over, makes one resourceful. Vigilant. Prudent.
And … nervous. Afraid.
Nearly six years there, in that life, and now just over six months home, Hope shows the wear-and-tear a child her age is much too young to have received. No government aid could touch the heart-wounds which come from a child fending and fearing during the years she was meant to be furrowing.
My sweet little girl has a heart that longs to live childlike-free, but which is trapped behind years of inertia. At times, she moves like a freight-train — unstopping, always racing, never able to rest. She didn’t stop then, so why now? Rest was danger; how could it, overnight, turn into safety? She barrels through life and, at times, people.
It’s what she has always done. It was her survival.
But tucked away behind 10 of her missteps is one move in the right direction, one sprig of beauty.
And I’m the mama He’s called to search it out.
One of the greatest dangers of adoption is believing for your child what your child already believes about themselves. It’s subtle. And easy, when the sum total of all their behaviors in a given day seems to point in one direction.
But we weren’t called to be the thermometer in the life of a child who has years of seeing themselves in only one light. We are here to tell them who they really are and, in light of who He is, that they are royalty.
They just don’t know it yet. They haven’t been told.
She scooted over on the couch: “Eden can sit here!”
She seemed to be offering her sister an olive branch, by way of the hotly-coveted seat next to Lily for read-aloud time. But, as Eden began to move, Hope’s intentions became clear to me (but not to the others). Instead of forfeiting her own seat next to Lily, she was finagling a way to squeeze, now, two bottoms in one spot. She stepped forward for a moment to re-adjust, so I took the initiative for her.
“Hope! Look at that,” I said, as I surreptitiously scooted her body to the other side of the couch. “You gave your sister the seat you wanted most. Sweetheart, that was beautiful.”
Her face flashed remorse, for a second, before she tried on the new mantle I’d foisted on her. All of a sudden, her countenance changed. She adjusted her shoulders and her eyes sparkled. “Yes, Mommy, Eden can have it. I want her to have it.”
My little girl danced and pranced her way through the rest of that night, light-footed, light-hearted. It was as if she started to believe she might be something other than the tempestuous little girl she’s painted herself to be.
The next morning, I woke to find a different child in my home. She scampered downstairs to get waters for her siblings, without them knowing. She shared her colored pencils without being asked and snuggled closer and longer to all of us. “Mommy, I want to bless you,” she said, as I caught her carrying my running clothes from the floor where I’d left them to my hamper.
And this is how it goes. This is how He is winning her back. The age-old strategy of delight is the Father’s best-kept secret. He kneels, toes pressed against the ground, staring into dirt, and His fingers so tenderly search for that one shoot that says life is here. He wades through years of lies calcified against my heart to find His own Truths buried within, and He calls them forth. I call myself “messy” and He says beauty in the making.
And when I learn from Him, I can do it with her.
Perspective is everything.
No child born of God is forever lost. No doctor’s diagnosis or psychologist’s analysis is the final verdict.
The Father looks on my daughter not with eyes of hopelessness and fear. He stares into her deep and calls forth Himself, planted in her from before the day she met the streets. What the enemy calls misfit, He reclaims as heiress.
And as her now-mother, my role is to carry this torch over her life. I live advocacy in my flesh and in my spirit. My prayers and my words form the bridge of partnership between His promises and her reality. I partner. She is being made new and it’s my job to speak it loud and to believe it in my quiet.
It’s His job to impart it.
And mine to receive.
With all that I am and all that I have, to receive. And this is motherhood.
The streets — or the diagnoses, the fears, the setbacks and mistakes — these do not have to stand. We get to stand in their place.
Sara is a wife to Nate and a mother of four (and one on the way) whose birth canal bridged the expanse between the United States and Africa. After almost a decade of Christian life she was introduced to pain and perplexity and, ultimately, intimacy with Jesus. God met her and moved her when life stopped working. And out of the overflow of this perplexity, came her writing.You can read more of her writing at Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet.
We try to be very intentional about our dinnertime conversations. David, especially, loves to challenge our children to think about and respond to sermons that we’ve listened to, things that we’re discussing at school and books that we’ve read. The kids have been learning to ask deep questions during our mealtimes, as well. Getting into the swing of things a few nights ago, Grace asked the question, “What has God done for you?”
I loved some of their answers (which were very elaborate and detailed, but I’ll just give you the main points).
He died for me.
He gave me a rock-n-rollin’ family.
He gave me a dad whose like an angel.
He let you adopt me.
He loved me so much.
It was amazing to me that the two things that our children said that they valued the most were the love of Jesus, who died for us, and becoming beloved sons and daughters, through adoption.
Even though our children often tell us that they love us (and some of them even tell us that we are the best parents in the whole world…hehehe…just wait until they discover the truth!), I was surprised at how strongly each one expressed his/her joy in being adopted. I certainly wouldn’t have expected this, anymore than I would have expected a birth child to express such gratitude for being born. But, I also know that when a person has experienced the sort of loss that our precious children have experienced, that person can either get angry, or he/she can choose to love, forgive and be grateful for what he/she does have. I’m so glad that each one of our children is learning to be the latter sort of person.
adoption
It’s a beautiful thing.
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David and Sarah have been joyfully married for almost 18 years. They have been blessed with 6 wonderful children (one homegrown son, a daughter from Ukraine and four children from China) and are never sure if they’re “done yet”! They love Jesus and are grateful that He has recently led them to the urban core of Kansas City where they are learning to give their lives away as they build His church in the inner city. You can read more about what God is doing in their lives at http://davidandsarahb.blogspot.com.
If there is one thing I love to celebrate,
it’s progress.
Especially with your children.
It always feels good to begin to see that the things you have been hoping for, praying for, trying your best to patiently teach, finally break through in your child.
That happened for us over the Christmas break.
It was a proud moment for me.
One that not everyone would understand jumping up and down to celebrate.
See, my child acted shy upon meeting his cousins, that live in Texas, for the first time.
Most people don’t jump up and down when their children act shyly.
As a matter of fact, most parents want their children to overcome it.
But for us, it was a major victory.
I really wanted to run around and say,
“My goodness!
Did you just see that?!
My son just hid behind my leg upon meeting new people!!
WHAT?!
YAAAAYY!!”
I mean, no one would really get that, right?
What is wrong with that lady???
But it was HUGE for us!
And for the first time in a while,
I felt the sweet satisfaction of thank-you-Lord progress.
Because it wasn’t even an attention-getting shyness,
which is his usual attempt at coping with new situations.
I was real, legitimate, I-don’t-know-about-this shyness.
And I was proud.
Crazy, huh?
But oh, so real.
But the good news is…progress is being made.
Our little boy is healing.
Spirit, soul and body.
And I am so blessed to be his mama.
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Anna Lokey and her husband Shaun have four girls (one from China) and FINALLY a boy (also from China). She’s a normal mom, living a life for God, raising a family that does the same, homeschooling, and trying to keep up with everyone’s schedules. She says, “If I can get my kids to school and gymnastics on time and then fix a real meal for dinner, it’s been a good day!” You can read more about them and their anything but LoKEY life on her blog www.anythingbutlokey.com.
Yesterday morning I checked Facebook and saw another adoption t-shirt
design and I can’t ignore it anymore.
I love the hearts of those making the shirts, for fundraisers, for orphan care, for awareness and I know they are worn like a badge of honor…
BUT…
I just can’t get past it, because most of them paint only the “butterfly and rainbows” picture of adoption that simply isn’t the full picture.
I am an adoption advocate, but firstly I am a family preservation advocate and a child advocate. It’s not about adoption, it’s about the children.
Adoption is more than just having love. It’s more than joy, blessing, family, happiness etc.
Adoption is a beautiful thing…in it’s own messy way.
My assumption is the shirts are being purchased and worn by PAP’s and AP’s but I feel like as representatives of adoption (because we’ve been there or are going to be there), can we please paint a clear picture?
Not one of doom and gloom but not one of only roses either.
Having a family knit together through both biology and adoption is one of the best things ever and I want to burst with joy when I see our unique little family…
but…
adoption is also one of the hardest things I’ve done. Some days I want to burst in tears with the loss and hurt we’ve encountered through this process. I know that I’m not alone in either of these thoughts.
So my challenge, to all of us as PAP’s an AP’s. Can we stop pretending and painting a picture that isn’t a view of the full masterpiece? Can we paint a clear picture of the joy and sorrow of adoption while still protecting our kiddos hearts?
Let’s celebrate the beauty of adoption but not gloss over the loss that comes with it, both in our wardrobe and in our speech.
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Lindsie has been married to her husband and best friend, David, almost 9 years. She is the homeschooling mother of four-ages 7, 5, 5, and 3. Their youngest two children are Ethiopian born and Korean born. While always Midwesterners at heart, they are loving living in Colorado. She loves Jesus, her family, hiking, good coffee, and cooking, as well as learning to embrace Life with a capital “L”, as she shares on her blog.
I have told both of my boys thier adoption stories since they were newborns in my arms. It’s not easy to put into words the miraculous and complicated way God brought them into our lives, but I’ve always felt like it was good practice for me even if they have no clue what I’m saying. The way they became part of our family is precious and I don’t ever want to forget those stories that made me a mama.
Right now, it’s pretty much a one-sided conversation. My oldest is starting to make some straight-forward connections like…
“L is my birthmommy.”
“I grew in her tummy”
“She picked you and daddy to be my parents.”
Then there are moments when I can see it in his eyes. His little brain is just spinning trying to figure out his story.
That’s when a little bit of fear sets in. I realize that there will probably come a day when there will be hard questions to answer and upset or confused emotions that come out of my boys. In my humanness, I want to protect them. I don’t ever want them to doubt our love for them or their birthfamilies love for them.
Then my loving, heavenly Father whispers to me and says, “Abby, don’t you remember how I used some really difficult situations in your life to draw you closer to me? I want to do that for your boys too.”
So, yes. It will be hard. There will be emotions that may be difficult to deal with. I won’t have all the answers for my boys, but I have the priviledge of pointing them to The One who is control of all things and has EVERYTHING they need.
“And my God will meet all you needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19
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Abby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a (more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with their sons’ birth families. You can follow their story at Akers of Love.
My children are BEAUTIFUL. God made every one of their fingers and toes PERFECT. Will the world see it this way? Not always, but we know God designed each and every one of us for His glory and loves us just as we are.
“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
(Ps. 139:13-14, NIV)
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Imagine a boy from China thinking he was abandoned because of a deformed thumb.
Imagine living your whole life with a dysfunctional thumb, one that flopped about, out of your control.
Imagine being ripped from the only country and home you have ever know to be whisk off to a new country with a new language, new family, new home, and new friends.
Imagine being told that something that has always been a part of you is going to be removed, yes, to make your life and functionality improved, but still . . .
Imagine thinking that they were just going to cut off that floppy thumb without any pain killers. Horrifying thought for an 9 year old boy.
Imagine the relief when you learn they have “special sleep medicine”.
Our boy from China, though scared and unsure, held his head high and walked strong and sure into Scottish Rite Hospital in Dallas, TX to emerge 24 hours later with a new thumb. Well, he did have to wear a cast for six weeks, but you get the idea.
Anthony is full of life and energy with a flair for the dramatic! He is extremely intelligent and picked up English with incredible speed. He joined our family in January of 2013. Anthony has a deformity in his right arm and hand. He is missing the bones in his right thumb and the radius in his forearm is short causing his arm to slightly curve in. The amazing and renowned pediatric hand surgeons of Scottish Rite Hospital performed an amazing surgery on his hand. They removed his limp thumb and moved his index finger to the location of the thumb so that he now has an opposable digit. It is truly amazing! This is the only surgery they plan to perform. At some point as medicine advances, there is a possibility that they might be able to lengthen his arm as well.
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Imagine a darling little 18 month girl bursting into your lives like a wildfire.
Imagine the parental distress over her precious misshapen fingers and toes.
Imagine the joy in learning that only a few short hours away from your home is someone who can help provide her with better functionality.
Imagine a sweet little girl who in and out of surgery without a single issue in less than a day.
Grace is a vivacious fun loving four year old who makes friends everywhere she goes. She joined our family in May of 2011. Grace has amniotic banding syndrome which led to deformities in her fingers and toes. She is missing her big toe on her left foot and the middle toes on her right foot are fused together as one. Additionally, her right foot is a slight club foot. Her index finger on her left hand is not properly formed and two of her middle fingers on her right hand are short. The same pediatric hand surgeons at Scottish Rite worked on her right hand to help her with movement and will possibly perform a follow up surgery on each hand in a few years. Grace wore her arm cast for a mere four week, and she never complained or once tried to pull it off. Keeping it dry was a bit of a challenge.
We also went through a series of casts and physical therapy on her right foot/leg to work on stretching the muscles and help the foot straighten. This is an ongoing process and we will most likely be refitting her for another AFO soon.
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Our greatest struggles will be managing our children’s hurt feelings when other children ask them why their hands and feet are different. While the doctors performed wonderful work on their limbs, they will never look normal by the world’s standards. We know and will always communicate to them that God see them as perfect and beautiful, but that we live in a fallen world, so there will always be questions and looks. Haven’t we all experienced the cruelty of children at some point in our lives? Did any of us escape the teen years unscathed, without experiencing ridicule about something? Of course, this will break our hearts, but we pray that we will use these opportunities to point our precious babies to the One who loves them more than any of us could imagine or fathom.
There are many things we will never know about our children or their past.
BUT
What we do know is this.
They are BEAUTIFUL.
We CHOSE them just as God CHOSE us.
We will LOVE them FOREVER.
We are their FOREVER FAMILY.
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After struggling with infertility for 5 years, God led Suzanne and her husband, Adam, to His Plan A for their lives—adoption! Their daughter, Grace Lihua, came into their lives on May 8, 2011 (Mother’s Day) from Fuzhou City, Fujian Province, China. And, their son, Anthony Jianyou, joined their family on January 14, 2013 from Shanghai. After a career in politics, Suzanne now works as a part time Pilates instructor while home schooling their children, writing and working as a part of the Sparrow Fund Blog leadership team. You can follow their adoption journey and life on her blog,Surpassing
She was happy and content in her world of baby dolls, hair bows and polka dot tights.
Then one night she was aimlessly surfing her agency’s website…..
when her heart literally skipped a beat.
Her husband sleeping, she called her friend in Florida..
“I think i’m looking at my son….”
This mama was scared….A BOY???!! Lord!! What would she do with a boy???
Her best friend would tell her, “there’s something about the way a boy loves his mama…”
and she would listen, but not fully understand.
Until Monday, December 6, 2010, in Guangzhou, China…..
In the International adoption world, a female child under the age of 3 is still the most requested child across every county and continent, including the United States. In 2011, for China, there were 1,888 females to just 699 boys (http://adoption.state.gov/about_us/statistics.php), adopted and brought home to their forever families.
With a shared list of literally hundreds of waiting children in China, the overwhelming majority of them are male. When little girls come to agency lists, the emails come pouring in…..and young boys with minor needs sit.
And wait.
Simply because they are boys.
Now hear my heart.
When the Lord called us to adopt the first time, we knew it was a daughter. It wasn’t written in the sky or spelled out in black and white, but we knew.
We had barely recovered from jet lag when the Holy Spirit began to convict me about my willingness to follow HIS plan for our family, or mine….and it took me digging into His Word, and continually, daily, laying my plans on the alter and and offering them as a sacrifice.
Sometimes, we just have to be willing for this adoption thing to not look like we thought it would.
Lord, did you call us to adopt a daughter…..or a child?
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
If you’re on this adoption road I’d challenge you today to seek deep the heart of your Father. Be willing for the end not to look like you planned it would.
Perhaps it will.
Maybe it won’t.
But rest assured….He knows *exactly* what you need.
Even when you didn’t realize what was missing.
Psalm 133:1
“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!”
Emily and Jay have been married for 11 years and have 5 childen–Avery 8, Ally 6, Annalyse 4, Ashley 3, and (finally) our BOY, Asher 2. Ashley and Asher were adopted from China and were both special needs adoptions. Emily spends her days chasing toddlers and waiting in line at carpool. Her favorite place in the world is in her van, all alone with the worship music blaring! She would count it an honor to have you be encouraged at her blog: www.ourhimpossiblejourney.blogspot.com.
