Happy Chinese New Year!

As part of the new year celebration in China every year, there is a televised gala that families often watch together. This 5-minute video entitled Chopsticks debuted during that television program 6 years ago, but we just discovered it…and we love it because it depicts tradition and values and the spirit of the holiday in such an engaging and compelling way. Special focus is given to what the filmmaker Frank Chan appreciates most about his home culture—including naming what may have just become one of my favorite Chinese words. It is 相守 or in pinyin xiāng shǒu, translated in the film to mean interdependence and meaning literally keeping each other.

If you’re a Chinese adoptive family, you don’t need a Pinterest-worthy party today. Maybe just take the opportunity before bedtime tonight to think about China, to talk about China, to be thankful for China, a country that values community and interdependence and has made it possible for you to “keep each other.”

Other Chinese New Year links that may interest you:
Making Chinese New Year Your Own on No Hands But Ours
A Family Friendly Guide to Chinese New Year on Chinese American Family
21 Things You Didn’t Know About Chinese New Year
15 Ideas to Celebrate Chinese New Year from Nicole, TSF board member
Chinese New Year Picture Books from our friend, adoptive mom and writer Rebecca Radicchi
Overthinking Chinese New Year Books

Our Top 10 of 2019

As we close 2019 and begin 2020, we want to practice gratitude with great intention by recognizing and magnifying our top 10 for the year.

10. Giving Tuesday. We set big goals for Giving Tuesday 2019 because we have big dreams for 2020 and needed engagement and funding to get them started. We set two very specific goals: (1) engage 100 givers and (2) raise $30,000 with the help of a collaborative $15,000 match. It was a slow start to the campaign, and we wondered if our goals may have been too big. But, our people rallied and then rallied more people too. By the end of it all, 127 people together gave $32,601. With that money, we can sustain and GROW what we’re doing. In 2020, we’re going to give more to our Sparrow Services Grant families to best care for them. We’re also hoping to both grow our team and, in so doing, grow what we are able to do for children and families and invest more in our team. We’re about caring for caregivers; that means we need to care for our team well too, making sure we get the training and support we need to be best set up to do this work as we’ve been called to do.

9. Animal Assisted Play Therapy training. In 2018, we launched Project Puppy Love, our canine-assisted therapy program for foster and adopted children and their families, with Louie, a certified facility dog trained and placed through Paws and Affection. As expected, Louie has become a significant helper here who has provided lots of opportunities for comfort, connection for kids and grownups, and creative growth. In 2019, Kelly, his certified handler, enrolled in more training to become a certified associate in animal assisted play therapy so she can get better and better at recognizing and magnifying all the ways that integrating a dog into therapeutic family work can be helpful.

8. Casual Conversations. With a desire to gather people together to foster community and encourage each other, we have been hosting what we call Casual Conversations. Partnering with our friend Simi of Mazi, we invite moms and dads into our space every so often for coffee and conversation around specific subjects worth talking about as we lead our families. In 2019, we talked about helping our kids learn to respond to hard questions, connecting with teens and tweens, navigating social media, talking to our kids about sex, practicing connected parenting, and navigating holidays and family celebrations. We want to keep these gatherings going in 2020, not because we want more on our calendars but because we want more community, more connection, more each otherness. And, we believe that Casual Conversations help us get there. Our next one is right around the corner on Thursday, January 30th when we have another opportunity to talk about how to talk to our kids about sex (because it’s really that important).

7. Helping friends who wait. As we have cared for caregivers in orphanages in China, we’ve gotten to make a lot of friends, many of whom are waiting to become sons and daughters. When we can, we share about those who are waiting. On February 3, 2019, we got an email responding to a blog post we wrote sharing about one of those friends. “I would love to learn more!,” it said. A little more than 8 months later, in October 2019, that friend became the son he was hoping he’d become one day, and we all celebrated big time. While there are a number of friends who are still waiting for someone to want to learn more, we’re anticipating more big celebrations soon as these friends also become sons in 2020.

6. Community. In 2019, more than ever before, we have gotten to be a part of big things outside our normal big things. Some of our favorites from the year include a trip to Boston in June where TSF cofounder and codirector Kelly Raudenbush joined the team at Harvard Graduate School of Education as a facilitator for their special institute “Empowering and Strengthening Relationships Across Early Childhood Settings” where she counted it a privilege to grow herself along with educators from all over the world. We served more local teachers as well through two workshops at the MidAtlantic Christian School Association’s annual conference focusing on trauma and partnering with families. And, we enjoyed supporting teachers and children right where we are by going into some schools with Louie and talking about how hard experiences impact us and how relationships can help us grow and heal.

5. Together Called. In March 2019, we hosted our 7th annual marriage retreat for foster and adoptive husbands and wives. We had 106 couples there from 13 different states who together represented over 388 children—164 biological children, 224 adopted from 23 different countries, and many more children who had been or are currently being fostered for a season. Peter Greer from HOPE International spoke to encourage and challenge us as men and women, husbands and wives, and dads and moms. We are still looking back on that weekend and nodding our heads, saying, “wasn’t that great?” It doesn’t surprise us at all that Together Called 2020 filled fast and has a waiting list.

4. Teamwork. We do what we do because we are in this together; we are a team. Since we want to keep learning how to do teamwork better, in 2019, we held our first TSF board weekend retreat where we shared stories, celebrated big and small wins, wrestled with challenges, and dreamed about next steps that we can take together. And, we laughed…a lot…and that’s exactly what we wanted for that time. We grew our team in 2019 as well. In the Spring, we brought long-time volunteer Abbey Leaman onto our staff as our Development and Care Coordinator to join Mark, Kelly, and Erin. Abbey assists with Sparrow Counseling, Together Called, and other events; oversees fundraising initiatives; and keeps the entire team dreaming via her initiative and creativity.

3. Helpful appreciating.

“There must be times when you wonder what in the world you can do for a certain child or a certain family [or orphanage nanny], yet you wanted so much to be of service that little by little the answer often comes to you, and you discover the way to be that helpful appreciator which invariably makes the difference—no matter how primitive our resources may be.” – Fred Rogers

Despite continued policy challenges, we were able to still go in 2019 as we have gone before to care for caregivers in an orphanage in China as helpful appreciators, gently coming alongside and magnifying beauty and goodness. After all, they are there. It’s a privilege to say over and over again, “Look, look! What you are doing is good! It matters, and you matter.”

2. Sparrow Services Grants. They’re different, our grants. We don’t just select families from applications and write checks. We do give some financial help, but our grants include more than that to support their marriages, the whole family and children already in their home, and the attachment between kids and grownups from the start. In 2019, we brought 14 more families into the Sparrow Services program who are adopting from Bulgaria (3), India (2), China (2), South Korea (2), Djibouti, South Africa, Hungary, Columbia, and the United States–we opened Sparrow Services to include families adopting domestically in 2019! We also celebrated the homecomings of 11 children to Sparrow Services Grant families in 2019: 3 from India, 2 from Thailand, 2 from China, 2 from Bulgaria, 1 from South Korea, and 1 from Liberia (pictured here) for whom we celebrated a little extra given some big challenges that brought us all to our knees. Our application window opens once again as of January 1st, 2020 for the next cohort of families. We can’t wait to see which families will join our Sparrow family next.

1. Sparrow Counseling. In July 2019, we launched our very own specialized program to offer child and family counseling services to meet the unique needs of foster and adoptive families. We knew it would be a pretty big deal to take this on, but we trusted it was the right thing for us as an organization and for families around us. And, the decision has been confirmed over the past 6 months as children and their grownups have entered into this space and experienced each other in new ways that have changed their stories. It’s pretty miraculous really—not because of anything we do but because we get to see and experience it too. That may be the brightest highlight of all of 2019—singular moments…a young girl able to say “I’m sad” to her mom for the first time, a boy able to tell his own story without shame, a dad saying that it feels good to laugh together, a mom who can say “I’m a good mom” and really believe it…that all come together and remind us that hope is possible and that it is our calling, privilege, and joy to be hope growers and bridge builders.

Stay tuned as our Top 10 for 2020 unfolds before our very eyes. We can’t wait to live it.

Growing the Giving on Giving Tuesday 2019

Big dreams call for big goals. Our team put heads and hearts together and set a funding goal of $30,000 this Giving Tuesday with one-third going to Sparrow Services grants, one-third going to training, and one-third going to operating costs. But, more important than a funding goal is our goal to reach more, engage more.

Some of our special donors put their hearts together too and decided to open their pockets up wide to help us get there. In order to grow the giving and grow the engagement, these donors have together pledged to give a total of $15,000 if we engage 100 givers on Giving Tuesday.  What that means is that no matter what amount you give, by helping us reach that number of 100 people giving on Giving Tuesday, your donation will be multiplied, potentially several times over!

We also want to give to you not because we want to convince you to give to us or pay you back in some way for donating. That negates the meaning of a gift. We just want you to know how grateful we are for you, the people who help us keep helping. And, simply put, we love giving.

Our token of thanks for every Giving Tuesday giver of $50 or more

Your Giving Tuesday donation of $50 or more will help us reach the goal of engaging 100 unique givers and unlock the $15,000 pledged when we do, and we’ll send you a printable set of 44 Scripture Seeds created by our friend Nicole at Color + Kindness. These 4×4 cards with lovely art and sweet words can be used by grownups and little ones alike to memorize verses from the Bible or place strategically as reminders in lunch boxes, coat pockets, and car dashboards. And, since they are printable, you can use them again and again and keep the giving going.

Our token of thanks for every Giving Tuesday giver of $100 or more

Your Giving Tuesday donation of $100 or more will help us reach the goal of engaging 100 unique givers and unlock the $15,000 pledged when we do, and we’ll give you the Scripture Seeds pack and send you one of our favorite things–a custom-printed journal that gives space for reflective journaling and provides a way to see themes in particular seasons of life. Since it comes packaged with instructions, you can use it yourself or give it as a gift to someone you care about.

Giving Tuesday is not until…well, Tuesday…but it’s not too early to get in on the goodness. Eat turkey. Eat leftover turkey. And, give whenever you want to give by clicking HERE and selecting “Giving Tuesday” in the dropdown list.

National Adoption Day

Today is National Adoption Day. It’s a day meant to raise awareness for the 125,000 children in the U.S. foster care system who are waiting to be adopted. It’s also a day when thousands of those children will legally become sons and daughters.

While it’s a special day filled with so many joyful celebrations, I know all too well that it’s also a day born of loss and sadness. Because every one of those 125,000 children, along with millions of others around the world, have a painful and traumatic story that led them to be “available for adoption” in the first place. There’s so much brokenness in our world.

While I won’t pretend to understand why the world is the way it is, I do know this: Adoption may be messy and heartbreaking and downright unfair, but it’s also beautiful and redemptive and healing. It offers new starts as families willingly agree to walk alongside their children in the hard.

No, it’s not the meant-to-be plan for our children. Truly, no one is meant to experience such overwhelming and profound loss. But, it is a plan. It’s one way that our journeys can begin to be redeemed and made new. In a place where our stories collide and become each other’s stories, our Father offers a way for us to love and learn and grow and heal and become all that we can be. Together.

I am so thankful for adoption. Not because it promises to fix everything or erase the past. Or because it’s the way things were meant to be. No, I’m thankful for adoption because it made a way for me to be a mama a third and fourth time to two of the most precious people who I absolutely adore. I’m thankful that I get to be a part of God’s plan for their stories. I’m thankful that they’ve taught me more about life than I thought was possible.

They make me better. They make our family better. And as we figure out what love and grace and mercy and healing look like, we make each other better. Together.


Nicole Chryst

Nicole is a wife and homeschool mom to four children, by birth and adoption. She is a board member of The Sparrow Fund, an Empowered to Connect Parent Trainer, and a Health & Wellness Coach. She enjoys empowering adoptive, foster, and kinship care families to take control of their health and find joy and healing in connected parenting. She writes at Naturally Wholistic about wholistic wellness, connected parenting, and homeschooling.

He’s lovable just as he is {advocating}

“I don’t think anyone can grow unless he’s loved exactly as he is now,
appreciated for what he is rather than what he will be.”
 
― Fred Rogers


I can’t think of a better tangible example of this truth than the relationship that is easily noted between the ayis and “Fischer.” I look at him and see all that he will be capable of with the support of a family. I see how smart he is and how much he could progress given the right tools.

             

But his ayis, they see him for who he is now. They recognize what he’s capable of despite his circumstances. It’s easy for them because they’ve seen how far he has come – and they love talking about it.

He doesn’t want modified activities or to be treated differently. He wants to be treated like the older, smart kid that he is. And they do that so well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s so capable, smart, and strong already. Just as he is now. You don’t have to guess what he’ll one day achieve to fall in love with this guy.  And we can’t wait to meet the family who will tell him how lovable he is every single day.


 

Interested in learning more about this little guy whose advocacy name is “Fischer”? He’s currently available for adoption through AWAA. Contact info@sparrowfund.org to learn more about where he is and our experience with him, and contact our friends at AWAA to hear more.

 

 


Erin Garrison has been a pediatric physical therapist since 2010 and was first introduced to The Sparrow Fund through serving on an orphanage trip in October of 2016. It was during this trip that her heart was stirred and she was drawn to a big career change in order to serve children living in orphanages, their temporary caregivers, and families who move forward to adopt them. Her passion is to help equip and train the orphanage staff on developmental and handling techniques to assist in reducing delays. She also seeks to be a therapeutic resource for families as they transition children to home and get connected to the services needed. You can contact Erin directly at eringarrison@sparrowfund.org.

Something awesome was happening while you were sleeping

These are the pictures of awesome.

These are women who have the awesome task of caring for little people who need caring for. Through something so simple, so basic, so ordinary, washing their hands and painting their nails, they were shown that they are extraordinary and inspiring and so very awesome.

We think the message was well received.

 

China Eve

We believe we learn best who we are and how the world works through our experience of relationships. That’s what our orphanage efforts are all about—building relationships and seeking opportunities to magnify those already there.

Tomorrow morning, our team once again will step out of their own comfort zones and go. They’re all a bit crazy today as they cross tasks off to-do lists and hope for something supernatural to happen as they try to fit a few more things into their luggage. They’re going with full bags and full hearts. The team is offering some medical training which the orphanage administrators specifically requested. They’re also offering the workshop we’ve done in other places that our friends at the Fred Rogers Center have equipped us to do, an interactive community experience designed to encourage, enrich, and empower interactions between children and their helpers. But, most important, each member of this team is going ready to serve children in the best way we know how—through loving well those who care for them day in and day out.

The orphanage work we get to do is for every person there. We want to tell each one of them—little one and grownups alike—that they matter, that they are valuable, and that someone outside themselves is for them.

Be watching our social media posts for glimpses of it.

A Mid-Autumn Festival Wish {Advocating}

It’s been formally celebrated in China for over 1,000 years, though some say people celebrated it informally thousands of years before that even. Full of legends and lanterns and big full moons, it’s the second most important holiday in China behind Spring Festival, the holiday we Westerners call Chinese New Year.

As turkeys are to Thanksgiving, so mooncakes are to Mid-Autumn Festival. It’s an essential part of the celebration to make them and give them. And, this orphanage made that happen.

With one Ayi paired up with one child and aprons and chef hats on, the mooncakes were made, complete with some sort of bean paste inside and designs on top.


But, there’s something about them that wasn’t experienced in this place the way it is supposed to be. Many cookies and cakes are round; it’s true. But, there’s more to why mooncakes are round; the Mandarin word for round sounds like the Mandarin word for reunion. And, reunions are the most wonderful part of Mid-Autumn Festival. Families come together.

There were people who came to visit–a local teacher, a retired man who used “his pocket money” to bring the children gifts, others to be kind to the children. It was good. And, giving the visitors the mooncakes he made was good too. Enjoying songs and a big meal later that day with his foster family was also good.

But, it’s not family the way family should be. He’s still waiting for them. And, maybe–just maybe–next Mid-Autumn Festival can be shared in a reunion like none other, a reunion with a family who gives him their name and tells him that with them is where he belongs. That’s the wish he’s making this Mid-Autumn Festival.


Interested in learning more about this little 10-year-old chef? He is a waiting child with congenital heart disease who is currently available for adoption through Madison, a good agency which is offering a $1,000 agency grant to the family who wants to make him their son. Contact info@sparrowfund.org or Sarah at Madison to hear more about him and what is required to bring him home.

Care Kits for Caregivers

When we go, we go with full hands. Giving gifts isn’t all we are about as we care for caregivers in orphanages, but it really does matter because it communicates that they matter…and they really really do. We want our next trip to be no different as our team heads East to a small orphanage in 4 weeks. And, we need your help to do it.

We want to give each nanny there what we’re calling a Care Kit. In a custom designed, expertly handmade fabric bag, each Care Kit comes with a sugar scrub to care for tired hands, a quick-dry nail polish to remind the wearer how beautiful she is, and a sweet smelling lotion to keep her hands soft at the end of a long day. But, what makes the Care Kits most impactful is that the first time they will be used will be with us as we sit across from each nanny with a tub of hot water before us, and we wash her hands.

We are inviting you—asking you—to be a part of this with us by becoming a Care Kit sponsor for $25, covering the cost to care for one who cares for many. We want every single one of the women who give of themselves everyday to receive this gift. Help us make sure that happens.

To become a sponsor, click on Donate select “orphan care efforts” from the drop down menu of options. You can add “Care Kit Sponsorship” in the notes field.

We can’t wait to have you join us in this.