Suzanne Meledeo, Author at The Sparrow Fund

December 8, 2014December 8, 2014

Adoption is my Jericho

As I sat in church this morning listening to a lesson on Joshua chapters 5 and 6, God grabbed my heart.

We are in the middle of our third adoption. A calling from God, yes. A child chosen for us by Him, absolutely! But even in the midst of this clearly directed path by God, I needed a heart check. Sometimes He needs to step in and remind us that it is ALL about Him. Even when we are doing something He has asked us to do, our flesh can step in and take our focus off of Him.

Travel with me back to Canaan. After 40 years of wandering in the desert God’s people are ready to enter their promised land, but there were obstacles in the way…… big obstacles, physical as well as spiritual. Big walls and armies as well as seeds of doubt and fear.

Joshua was a man of God. He was appointed by God to be the leader of His people. Yet, even as he stepped out in faith to lead his people into battle, God stepped in to check Joshua’s faith and trust in Him and His plan over their plan. Are Joshua and the Israelites truly ready to step out in complete faith, no matter what, even if it seemed a little crazy?

“Now it came about when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing opposite him with his sword drawn in his hand, and Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us or for our adversaries?” He said, “No; rather I indeed come now as captain of the host of the Lord.” And Joshua fell on his face to the earth, and bowed down, and said to him, “What has my lord to say to his servant?” The captain of the Lord’s host said to Joshua, “Remove your sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so. (Joshua 5:13-15, NASB)

When God calls us to step out in faith, it is not always easy and sometimes it doesn’t even make sense, but that is what makes God God and us not! Let’s consider God’s plan for the Israelites to defeat Jericho.

“Then the Lord said to Joshua, ‘See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men. March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days. Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams’ horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in.’’ (Joshua 6:2-5, NIV)

How CRAZY AMAZING was God’s victory plan over Jericho! He asked them to do something from a human military perspective that made absolutely no sense, so that there would be absolutely no question that victory was the Lord’s!

Adoption is my promised land, but initially, there were obstacles in the way. Big obstacles embedded deep in my heart.

I had plans……normal earthly plans. Plans for red headed, freckled children, but God had other plans.

CRAZY AMAZING PLANS! Once I accepted God’s plan I went full steam ahead doing all I could to make it happen, and sometimes getting frustrated when things didn’t happen according to my schedule. How easy it is to forget that this isn’t my plan. It’s God’s PLAN! A plan to bring glory to His name, not mine.

Adoption is also my Jericho. His timing is perfect, and many times throughout our adoption journey, He has done CRAZY AMAZING things that could only be attributed to Him. Sometimes He whispers and sometimes He shouts, “Remember, I am the Lord, Suzanne. You are standing on holy ground.”

So let us shout at the top of our lungs like the Israelites at the Battle of Jericho as we move forward with our adoptions, knowing that our Creator and Savior is leading the charge for us and our children who are more precious to Him than we could ever fathom.

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After struggling with infertility for 5 years, God led Suzanne and her husband Adam to His Plan A for their lives—adoption! Their daughter, Grace Lihua, came into their lives in 2011 from the Fujian Province, China. Their son, Anthony Jianyou, joined their family in January of 2013 from Shanghai, and another little girl will be joining their family in 2015 from the Hunan Province. After a career in politics, Suzanne is thankful for God’s provision in their lives that now allows her to work part time as a Pilates instructor while home schooling their children and working as a part of the WAGI leadership team. You can follow their adoption journey and life on their blog, Surpassing Greatness.

October 27, 2014October 27, 2014

Muddling through the adoption paperwork haze . . .

“So tell me,” a friend asked with some trepidation in her voice, “does adoption paperwork get any easier, I mean, you know, with your third adoption?”

“I wish!” I replied with a sigh.

In fact, I this go around is the hardest yet! Yes, you would think it would all be old hat for me by now, but I find myself more frustrated than the last time. I know what each document needs, I know how long it can take, and all I want is to hold my baby in my arms. My child who is waiting for her forever family, not even knowing that at this very moment I am staring at her picture for the 10th time today with tears in my eyes. This is the reality of the adoption paperwork haze, friends.

So I have been struggling this third go around staying focused on God. He has provided for us at every step of each adoption, and it has always been in His perfect timing, so why do I doubt?

Lately, I had been praying, “God, please help us get these documents together quickly!” And then suddenly this week, I stopped my nonsense long enough to hear that whisper in my heart, “Suzanne, stop. Just stop, be still and listen. Be open to my plan and timing. I love Eva more than you can imagine. I am with her, protecting her, comforting her and preparing her heart. The same goes for you. Be still and know that I am God.”

Wow, what a burden has been lifted. It doesn’t mean that I won’t still struggle but I feel a sense of peace now that surpasses all comprehension.

Praise God for His perfect plan!

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September 22, 2014September 22, 2014

A Lesson in Trust . . . the Adoption Wait

Waiting.

How many of us like to wait?

I’ve always disliked waiting. Even as a child, it was one of my least favorite things. I liked to know the ending of stories before I finished reading or watching them, much to the dismay of many family and friends (this is still true today, just ask my husband!).

I didn’t like waiting for presents. As a child, I used to scour the house every year looking for my mom’s latest hiding place for presents which were typically neatly packed in a lovely flowered cardboard box. Sometimes I was successful in finding “the box”, sometime not. One year I came home from school, walked back to her room looking for her, only to discover the “present box” open on her bed! Pure bliss!

Now that you’ve had a glimpse into my childhood, translate this to my adult life. I’m sure you can imagine all the lessons God has had to teach me in patience and trust.

Then, translate this again to the adoption wait. Nail bitingly difficult for me!

The wait for children has probably been one of the biggest opportunity for growth for me in my Christian life. My five-year struggle with infertility was a real trial and lesson in patience in waiting on the Lord . . . learning to trust Him and His plans, not my plans. Recognizing that it is all out of my hands was a huge adjustment but a necessary and important life lesson.

Once I had accepted His awesome and amazing plan A for our lives, adoption, the waiting began again.

As we begin our third adoption (yes that’s right, friends, we are in process on our third adoption!), I’ll let you in on a little secret. The waiting doesn’t get any easier!

You see pictures of this precious child that belongs in your family and all you can think about is how long each step of the process will take. How many months will you wait before you hold that child in your arms. Each passing day feels like an eternity, precious time lost. Moments and memories slipping by with you unaware. You wonder about your child’s needs, hopes and dreams, desiring to meet them. But it is all out of our hands. They are in the hands of our heavenly Father who loves them above all things and meets their needs in ways we never can, will or should.

So as my frustration with the wait has been building over the past few weeks, God spoke to me very clearly through my son who came to us two years ago from China at the age of 8. My mom asked him on the eve of his 10th birthday what he liked about America. He first said having a family who loved him (so sweet), but when my mom said, “Anything else?”, he said, “Oh! God!” He further explained that while in China he used to wonder if there must someone great and amazing who loved him. Just think, not only did my son wait 8 years to feel our arms about him, he waited 8 years just to hear the name of God. Talk about convicting!

So why I am focusing on the wait? Why I am obsessing over something so temporal? Why I am taking my eyes off Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith?

What if instead of focusing on the wait, I focused on God and His love for me and my new little one who is waiting too.

What if instead of lamenting how long adoption takes, I take that time to pray for my precious ones entrusted to me by God.

What if each time I cry out in frustration at the adoption process, I instead turn it into an opportunity to deepen my relationship with God.

It isn’t about us, it’s all about Him.

All in His time and for His glory alone.

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September 2, 2014September 2, 2014

Difficult Conversations . . . Try Infertility and Adoption {Summer Rewind}

As adoptive parents, we all know this day is coming.

That day where your child starts asking questions that you can’t answer. The thought of it breaks your heart, and so you try to prepare yourself, but you can never really be prepared.

Somehow these conversations always happen when I am putting on my makeup in the morning. Captive audience, I guess!

Grace: “Mommy, when are you going to have a baby in your tummy?”

Me: “Well, baby, I don’t know. Only God knows if that will ever happen.”

Grace: “I was a baby in your tummy.” (she said this directly and without question)

And there it is; the question I knew would come, heading straight for me like a freight train.

Me: “Sweetheart, you may not have grown in my tummy, but you grew in my heart.

Grace: “Well, whose tummy was I in, Mommy?”

Silence. Deep breaths.

Will it be enough for now, Lord?

“Peace, Child, be still and know that I am God.”

Me: “Sweetheart, we don’t know, but you were always in my heart.”

Grace: “Ok, Mommy!” (she hugged me and ran off her usual happy self)

For now, as an almost four year old, that is all she needs to hear, but I know a day is coming when she will not be satisfied with that statement of truth. That is OK and natural, but won’t make it any easier. I hate that I won’t have more information for her. I hate that the truth about her birth parents may hurt her and possibly rock her to the very core. But I must have faith because I know that God will be with her on this journey, guiding her, loving her and protecting her. My job is to teach her about Christ and His Sacrifice and how her worth and significance comes only from Him!

As I look at our recently adopted older Chinese son, Anthony, who has told us that his first mommy as he calls her (he is referring to his birth mother) was bad because she threw him in the trash, all I can do is pray to the One who heals all hurts, knowing that only He can give Anthony the strength and ability to forgive.

Naturally, as their mother, it breaks my heart to see my children suffer, just as it broke God’s heart to watch His only Son die on the cross, taking our sin upon Himself. And yet, God allowed it, because it was the only way we could spend eternity forever with Him. Praise God for His amazing mercy and grace.

Thank you, Father, for your steadfast love. You are our rock and our salvation. Whom shall I fear?!

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After struggling with infertility for 5 years, God led Suzanne and her husband Adam to His Plan A for their lives—adoption! Their daughter, Grace Lihua, came into their lives on Mother’s Day in 2011 from Fuzhou City, Fujian Province, China. And, their son, Anthony Jianyou, joined their family in January of 2013 from Shanghai. Their family will be growing again very soon. After a career in politics, Suzanne is thankful for God’s provision in their lives that now allows her to work part time as a Pilates instructor while home schooling their children and working as a part of the WAGI leadership team. You can follow their adoption journey and life on their blog, Surpassing Greatness.

April 23, 2014April 23, 2014

The Blessings of Adoption

As adoptive parents, we partake in so many blessings along the adoption journey. There are also many times of trial, heartache, and grief, but wouldn’t you say that the blessings out weigh all this. Over the past few days, God reminded me again of the many blessings that enter our life through His amazing plan of adoption.

At our Good Friday service, I witnessed our precious son, who last year was struggling to understand English, our love for him and his place in our family, lift his hand in praise to the Lord. We were singing “Amazing love” and I looked over at him to discover this sweet boy singing his heart out to God. His little hand went up in praise even though no one else had their hands up. He then told me later that that was the first church service where he had really focused on God. AMAZING! HIS AMAZING LOVE!

Then, on this very afternoon that I am typing these words, my son, after giving me a big hug, proclaimed, “I like this family. I am so glad you are my family, my new family!” That’s right, precious boy, we are your Forever Family!

My heart is filled with immeasurable gratefulness and love for our Father who brought my boy from China into our family and held him tightly until he began to understand the depth of His love for us.

One little hand
One little hand raised in praise
One little hand where there were none
One little hand signifying love
Love for the Savior.

One little heart
One little heart filled with understanding
One little heart praising God
One little heart full of love
Love for the One who saved him.

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After struggling with infertility for 5 years, God led Suzanne and her husband, Adam, to His Plan A for their lives—adoption! Their daughter, Grace Lihua, came into their lives May 2011 on Mother’s Day from Fuzhou City, Fujian Province, China. And, their son, Anthony Jianyou, joined their family in January 2013 from Shanghai. After a career in politics, Suzanne now works as a part time Pilates instructor while home schooling their children, writing and working as a part of the Sparrow Fund Blog leadership team. You can follow their adoption journey and life on her blog, Surpassing
Greatness.

March 26, 2014March 25, 2014

His Plan.

Sometimes I stand and just stare at my children in disbelief. Sometimes I still almost can’t believe God chose us to parent them. After all the pain and distress of infertility, His plan rocked my world.

His beautiful, amazing, precious children, entrusted to us.

I think again about the agony their birth parents must have felt as they walked away from those sweet little babes, never to look back.

I think again about things they experienced that we will never know about.

I think about the time in their precious lives that we missed.

I think about my anguish and distress and that all consuming desire I had to have a child.

But through all this God had a plan.

He patiently waited for us to seek Him. He wanted us to stop focusing on our problems and to turn our eyes to Him.

THEN He showed us His plan.

A plan for our lives and a plan for their lives.

A plan that was and still is far beyond our understanding or comprehension.

A plan I am living day after day.

So when uncertainty surrounds us in our lives as is so apt to happen, what do we do?

Do we turn our eyes to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith?

Are you ready for HIS PLAN?

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After struggling with infertility for 5 years, God led Suzanne and her husband, Adam, to His Plan A for their lives—adoption! Their daughter, Grace Lihua, came into their lives May 2011 on Mother’s Day from Fuzhou City, Fujian Province, China. And, their son, Anthony Jianyou, joined their family in January 2013 from Shanghai. After a career in politics, Suzanne now works as a Pilates instructor and teacher trainer while home schooling their children, writing and working as a part of the Sparrow Fund Blog leadership team. You can follow their adoption journey and life on her blog, Surpassing
Greatness.

February 19, 2014February 19, 2014

God’s Dreams for Us

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that one day I would adopt an eight year old boy China. In fact, if you had told me three years ago that I would now have a nine year old son, I probably would have laughed. Isn’t it beautiful how God works, changing and molding us into the vessel He intends us to be when we open our hearts to him.

When God first revealed to us His plan, I was honestly absolutely terrified at the thought initially, but God whispered in my heart, “Trust Me, dear one” and I settled under the secure wings of my Almighty Father and let Him lead. Adopting an older child is not an easy path, but God didn’t promise that the road would be easy, did He? But has it been rewarding and amazing? Absolutely!

For Anthony’s one year anniversary as our son, we purchased a Bible with his name imprinted on it. I had been waiting for the right time to start showing him how God speaks to us through the Bible and provides us with everything we need to follow Him. I didn’t want to rush things but Holy Spirit has been working in his heart one from the very day he entered our lives.

As we were setting down for our evening routine of a devotional reading, he said, “My heart believes in God, but my sometimes my brain doesn’t understand.” I could feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit to seize this very moment!

I said, “Yes, our brains try to understand, but we will never understand everything about God because He is God and our brain is too small in comparison to Him. Let’s look at verse in Isaiah that talks about this very thing. We can look it up in your new bible!”

So I picked up his new Bible and turned to Is. 55:8-9:

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your
ways my ways,’

declares the Lord.

‘As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways
higher than your ways

and my thoughts
than your thoughts.'” (NIV)

As Anthony read the verse aloud to me, his eyes grew big and he looked at me and exclaimed rather loudly,

“That is exactly what I was thinking! The Bible is amazing!! I am so happy! I love God with all my heart! My heart is different now.”

Heart pounding . . . tears of joy welling up . . . silent praise to God. This boy, one year ago, had not even heard the name of God!

“Anthony, I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that you understand how God speaks to us from His word. He also tells us that we are new creations because of Christ and have a new heart.”

“Are there verses that tell us that?”

“Oh, yes! Let me show you!”

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Cor. 5:17, NIV)

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ez. 36:26, NIV)

God is working in the heart of my boy who only just heard about God one year ago. Just think, if we hadn’t listened to God’s call, we would have missed out on the amazing work God is doing in his life.

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January 29, 2014January 28, 2014

Consider the Waiting Child – Living Life with Limb Deformities

My children are BEAUTIFUL. God made every one of their fingers and toes PERFECT. Will the world see it this way? Not always, but we know God designed each and every one of us for His glory and loves us just as we are.

“For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

(Ps. 139:13-14, NIV)

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Imagine a boy from China thinking he was abandoned because of a deformed thumb.

Imagine living your whole life with a dysfunctional thumb, one that flopped about, out of your control.

Imagine being ripped from the only country and home you have ever know to be whisk off to a new country with a new language, new family, new home, and new friends.

Imagine being told that something that has always been a part of you is going to be removed, yes, to make your life and functionality improved, but still . . .

Imagine thinking that they were just going to cut off that floppy thumb without any pain killers. Horrifying thought for an 9 year old boy.

Imagine the relief when you learn they have “special sleep medicine”.

Our boy from China, though scared and unsure, held his head high and walked strong and sure into Scottish Rite Hospital in Dallas, TX to emerge 24 hours later with a new thumb. Well, he did have to wear a cast for six weeks, but you get the idea.

Anthony is full of life and energy with a flair for the dramatic! He is extremely intelligent and picked up English with incredible speed. He joined our family in January of 2013. Anthony has a deformity in his right arm and hand. He is missing the bones in his right thumb and the radius in his forearm is short causing his arm to slightly curve in. The amazing and renowned pediatric hand surgeons of Scottish Rite Hospital performed an amazing surgery on his hand. They removed his limp thumb and moved his index finger to the location of the thumb so that he now has an opposable digit. It is truly amazing! This is the only surgery they plan to perform. At some point as medicine advances, there is a possibility that they might be able to lengthen his arm as well.

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Imagine a darling little 18 month girl bursting into your lives like a wildfire.

Imagine the parental distress over her precious misshapen fingers and toes.

Imagine the joy in learning that only a few short hours away from your home is someone who can help provide her with better functionality.

Imagine a sweet little girl who in and out of surgery without a single issue in less than a day.

Grace is a vivacious fun loving four year old who makes friends everywhere she goes. She joined our family in May of 2011. Grace has amniotic banding syndrome which led to deformities in her fingers and toes. She is missing her big toe on her left foot and the middle toes on her right foot are fused together as one. Additionally, her right foot is a slight club foot. Her index finger on her left hand is not properly formed and two of her middle fingers on her right hand are short. The same pediatric hand surgeons at Scottish Rite worked on her right hand to help her with movement and will possibly perform a follow up surgery on each hand in a few years. Grace wore her arm cast for a mere four week, and she never complained or once tried to pull it off. Keeping it dry was a bit of a challenge.

We also went through a series of casts and physical therapy on her right foot/leg to work on stretching the muscles and help the foot straighten. This is an ongoing process and we will most likely be refitting her for another AFO soon.

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Our greatest struggles will be managing our children’s hurt feelings when other children ask them why their hands and feet are different. While the doctors performed wonderful work on their limbs, they will never look normal by the world’s standards. We know and will always communicate to them that God see them as perfect and beautiful, but that we live in a fallen world, so there will always be questions and looks. Haven’t we all experienced the cruelty of children at some point in our lives? Did any of us escape the teen years unscathed, without experiencing ridicule about something? Of course, this will break our hearts, but we pray that we will use these opportunities to point our precious babies to the One who loves them more than any of us could imagine or fathom.

There are many things we will never know about our children or their past.

BUT

What we do know is this.

They are BEAUTIFUL.

We CHOSE them just as God CHOSE us.

We will LOVE them FOREVER.

We are their FOREVER FAMILY.

______________________________________

After struggling with infertility for 5 years, God led Suzanne and her husband, Adam, to His Plan A for their lives—adoption! Their daughter, Grace Lihua, came into their lives on May 8, 2011 (Mother’s Day) from Fuzhou City, Fujian Province, China. And, their son, Anthony Jianyou, joined their family on January 14, 2013 from Shanghai. After a career in politics, Suzanne now works as a part time Pilates instructor while home schooling their children, writing and working as a part of the Sparrow Fund Blog leadership team. You can follow their adoption journey and life on her blog, Surpassing

Greatness.

January 8, 2014January 8, 2014

Reflections . . . the first year

It’s hard to believe it has been almost a year since our precious boy walked into our lives that frigid day in Shanghai. I can barely remember life without him. It seems as if he has always been here, and in a sense, he has. God chose him for us before the foundation of the world. He placed Anthony in our hearts before he was even a thought in our finite minds. What a mighty God we serve!

First Photo ever with my new son!

The past year has taken us on an amazing journey far beyond our imaginations. Never in my wildest dreams or fantasies of my future life (of which there have been many) did I ever picture myself adopting an 8 year old boy. When Adam first told me that he wanted Anthony, the fear that rose in me was fierce but stronger yet was the gentle voice of God whispering, “trust Me”.

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,’

declares the Lord.” (Is. 55:8, NIV)

Adoption is all about trust.

Trusting that God will provide a child for you.

Trusting that God will provide the funds you need for the adoption costs.

Trusting that God will protect and love your child while someone else holds them.

Trusting that God will comfort them when they are ripped from the only life they have ever known.

Trusting that God will meld and knit your family together for His glory.

And now, here we sit, one year later . . . still trusting, as each new day brings

More love

More joy

More frustrations

More openness

More peace

More trust.

What an amazing year!

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October 30, 2013October 30, 2013

The Story of Adoption

The years that I missed will always haunt me.

Never feeling their life grow in my womb.

The baby cuddles and smells

Late night feedings

First smile, first laugh, first step, first word

Kissing boo boos and bandaging knees

First days of school

Comforting broken hearts

Birthday after birthday, without us

Different things missed for each child.

The sense of loss still lingers.

Yet

Thankfulness abounds.

Over God’s perfect timing

Over each moment and memory we do have

Over each new discovery and bonding moment

Over the fact that He choose us to raise them

This is the story of adoption.

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Why do they have to grow up so fast?

It seems like just yesterday we were in that sultry hotel conference room meeting our 18 month old baby girl.

And almost a year ago we sat huddled in a cold conference room waiting to meet our 8 year old boy.

And over the past months, it seems that my babies are growing up

WAY TOO FAST

No longer the toddler

Ready to take on the world

No longer the baby faced boy we first saw

Growing more mature every day

So we will cherish every moment we have with them

Holding on those memories of laughter, joy, sadness, and love

Thanking our God in heaven for His most precious gifts.

_______________________________________

: Suzanne Meledeo

After struggling with infertility for 5 years, God led Suzanne and her husband Adam to His Plan A for their lives—adoption! Their daughter, Grace Lihua, came into their lives on May 8, 2011 (Mother’s Day) from Fuzhou City, Fujian Province, China. And, their son, Anthony Jianyou, joined their family on January 14, 2013 from Shanghai. After a career in politics, Suzanne now works part time as a Pilates instructor while home schooling their children, writing and working as a part of the WAGI leadership team. You can follow their adoption journey and life on their blog, Surpassing Greatness.