Two years ago, I wrote this post about talking with our boys about their adoption stories.  I thought I would give a little update…

I have told both of our boys thier adoption stories since they were newborns in my arms.  It’s not easy to put into words the miraculous and complicated way God brought them into our lives, but I’ve always felt like it was good practice for me even if they have no clue what I’m saying.  The way they became part of our family is precious and I don’t ever want to forget those stories that made me a mama.

Right now, it’s pretty much a one-sided conversation.  My oldest is starting to make some straight-forward connections like…

“L is my birthmommy.”

“I grew in her tummy”

“She picked you and daddy to be my parents.”

UPDATE:  My oldest now will ask questions out of the blue like, “Is J (his birthmom’s son) my real brother?”  Questions like this usually throw me for a loop and I shoot up a prayer asking God to give me the right words that will honor our family and his first family.  Then sometimes, I shoot up a prayer asking for grace when I have no clue what to say.  

Then there are moments when I can see it in his eyes.  His little brain is just spinning trying to figure out his story.

UPDATE: I still see his brain spinning and sometimes when we’re talking about his story, he changes the subject and that is O.K.

That’s when a little bit of fear sets in.  I realize that there will probably come a day when there will be hard questions to answer and upset or confused emotions that come out of my boys.  In my humanness, I want to protect them.  I don’t ever want them to doubt our love for them or their birthfamilies love for them.

Then my loving, heavenly Father whispers to me and says, “Abby, don’t you remember how I used some really difficult situations in your life to draw you closer to me?  I want to do that for your boys too.”

There will be emotions that may be difficult to deal with. I won’t have all the answers for my boys, but I have the priviledge of pointing them to The One who is control of all things and has EVERYTHING they need.

UPDATE: Everytime we talk about the boys’ stories, (just to be clear, it’s not a daily or even weekly conversation.  Their adoption does not define who they are…it’s simply one part of who they are.) we get to talk about God.  I am learning that there is purpose in every circumstance God puts us in.  Instead of dwelling on the details, I can focus on Him and his purpose for each situation.  

So, yes.  It will be hard.

UPDATE:  It sometimes is hard, but the good and the joy far outweigh the hard.  

There will be emotions that may be difficult to deal with.  I won’t have all the answers for my boys, but I have the priviledge of pointing them to The One who is control of all things and has EVERYTHING they need.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

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Abby and her college sweetheart husband Wes began the journey of domestic adoption in 2009. Blessed with a (more than they had planned but oh so thankful for it) open adoption experience, they were able to witness the birth of their first child Max in the summer of 2010. Little brother Sam joined their team in September of 2012. Wes and Abby are trusting God as he leads them in their relationship with their sons’ birth families. You can follow their story at Akers of Love.