While I totally and completely agree that the response “Jesus Christ is the best thing that ever happened to you” is right, I question how our IA children will process it. Looking at that sentence from a questioning teenager or older child standpoint, I wonder if the child would automatically reject a God who caused the ruination of his/her “natural” family. After all, what kind of God makes a pregnant woman choose to abandon her child? So while I like the sentiment behind what you’re saying, I would tread very, very warily before ever saying it out loud.
Having said that, I have yet to have one of my daughters tell me I’m not her “real” mom and that she doesn’t like me (I’m prepared for it to happen, but it hasn’t, yet…)
Perfect! Our son had told me that he wants to go back to his foster mom’s house. Ya know, when he’s in trouble or we won’t let him do something he really wants to do. I always tell him that he could certainly visit, but he wouldn’t be allowed to stay with her.
On the days when he isn’t ‘mad’ at us, he tells us we’re the “bestest family” he’s ever had. : )
And, while I understand the previous poster, I have to agree with Jesus being the best thing…even though the majority of our kid’s adoption stories are laced with all kinds of loss, it was allowed by Jesus…simply because He lets us (& others) make our own choices…wrong & right.
Lisa- I’ve been a follower of your blog for a LONG while. I LOVE LOVE your transparency and think that adoptive mamas need to walk this path with their eyes wide open. Thank you for showing us ALL the sides to adoption. Thank you thank you thank you!!!
Nancy
I should probably clarify my post a tiny bit. In an effort to edit the post, one important detail was lost. The person who recommended I say this to my daughter was her therapist who knows us well and has been on this journey with us for over a year. It would never, ever, be said in a way that is insensitive to my daughter’s loss and sorrow, rather it is said to affirm her as my daughter and me as a capable and loving mother to her.
These are complex issues of the heart as we do the dance of attachment with an older child.
One of my sweet daughters doesn
LOVE THAT!!!!! What a great response!
While I totally and completely agree that the response “Jesus Christ is the best thing that ever happened to you” is right, I question how our IA children will process it. Looking at that sentence from a questioning teenager or older child standpoint, I wonder if the child would automatically reject a God who caused the ruination of his/her “natural” family. After all, what kind of God makes a pregnant woman choose to abandon her child? So while I like the sentiment behind what you’re saying, I would tread very, very warily before ever saying it out loud.
Having said that, I have yet to have one of my daughters tell me I’m not her “real” mom and that she doesn’t like me (I’m prepared for it to happen, but it hasn’t, yet…)
Perfect! Our son had told me that he wants to go back to his foster mom’s house. Ya know, when he’s in trouble or we won’t let him do something he really wants to do. I always tell him that he could certainly visit, but he wouldn’t be allowed to stay with her.
On the days when he isn’t ‘mad’ at us, he tells us we’re the “bestest family” he’s ever had. : )
And, while I understand the previous poster, I have to agree with Jesus being the best thing…even though the majority of our kid’s adoption stories are laced with all kinds of loss, it was allowed by Jesus…simply because He lets us (& others) make our own choices…wrong & right.
Lisa- I’ve been a follower of your blog for a LONG while. I LOVE LOVE your transparency and think that adoptive mamas need to walk this path with their eyes wide open. Thank you for showing us ALL the sides to adoption. Thank you thank you thank you!!!
Nancy
I should probably clarify my post a tiny bit. In an effort to edit the post, one important detail was lost. The person who recommended I say this to my daughter was her therapist who knows us well and has been on this journey with us for over a year. It would never, ever, be said in a way that is insensitive to my daughter’s loss and sorrow, rather it is said to affirm her as my daughter and me as a capable and loving mother to her.
These are complex issues of the heart as we do the dance of attachment with an older child.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Lisa