To topple the “stronghold of our experiences” we must “let God be found true, though every man be found a liar” (Romans 3:4). The only One who has a right to shape our lives is Jesus Christ. We must determine to allow nothing and no one to shape us, not even our personal experiences, unless they are consistent with the promises of God. In truth, who is ruling our lives, God or our experiences?
Francis Frangipane, The Three Battlefields
Who is this child?
I heard once that personhood can be defined in three parts: (1) Identity, (2) Acceptance, (3) Approval. This intrigued me, as I have become increasingly convinced that our precious adopted children’s wholeness and healing directly correlates with their understanding and belief in who they are. Do you remember what God the Father said about Jesus when He was baptized? “This is (1) My Son, (2) My Beloved, (3) In Whom I Delight!” (Matthew 3:17) Jesus received this public affirmation from His Father–his identity as a son of his Father, his acceptance as one who is loved, and the approving delight of his Father. When we ask the question, “Who is this child?” as parents, we have the opportunity to partner with the Holy Spirit to see God’s eternal purposes manifested in his or her life, going way past the surface issues of behavior into the depth of their identity in Christ.
What is God Seeing? What is God Saying?
My favorite example of this is found in the story of Gideon (Judges 6)– I love this story! There is Gideon threshing wheat in secret, hiding in a wine press so that the Midianite enemy can’t steal it from him. And then the Angel of the Lord shows up and says, “The Lord is with you, you mighty man of valor.” Notice, Gideon is not even wearing armor, he has no sword, he is hiding in justified fear–there is nothing about him that would indicate that he is indeed a “might man of valor.” What in the world was God thinking?! More importantly, what was God seeing?
Facts or Truth?
Do you see the huge gap between the Word of the Lord and the facts at hand?! There is a disturbing and direct opposition between God’s words and what can be seen at the present moment. In this situation it is key to recognize the difference between facts and truth. Facts are simply an accurate description of a circumstance. Facts change, but Truth–God’s Word–remains.
How often do we look at our children and see only a repeated negative behavior or character trait. We must look to who they are in the Spirit. Notice, God did not say, “You will be a mighty man of valor once I finish my work in you.” I don’t know about you, but to me it almost feels like God made a mistake here. But rather, I think what is going on is that God saw something in Gideon in the Spirit, something that had not yet manifested but was, nevertheless, TRUE. Also, let’s take note that God did not attack him with words like, “Gideon, you are a gutless wimp. Shape up here.” As with Jesus, God spoke out loud into Gideon his identity in the very midst of the facts that spoke as loud as any words, “Fearful, not Mighty.”
Calling Forth the Treasure
Part of our role as fathers and mothers is to speak WORDS OF LIFE and TRUTH
THAT WAS ONE AWESOME POST! Thanks for including that…Now I only have to remember it in the spur of the moment. 🙂
Thank you Brooke! One of the things about God that I love is that He is so faithful and kind to enter our world and be and “ever present help in time of need.” I’m sure the Holy Spirit will be right there in the moment with you!
Wow! This is a post well-worth reading! Thank you so much for it!
I really appreciate that Margie and Jerusha. I get excited when I think about these things! I know God has so much to show us about who He is in our homes and how we can parent by His wonderful Spirit. Thanks!
SO, SO good! Thank you, Beth. (We like F.F. too!) :o)
Thank you Jerusha (not sure if my last reply went to you as well as Margie). I love taking things I learn from people like Frangipane and seeing how they can apply to us parents. It’s amazing how Truth works in every situation!
That was very, very good. It has given me much to think about. It definitely applies to bio children as well as adopted. I think I have done this some with my children (one in particular), but not very intentionally. I think this is something I must make a point to do. I also think I will be reading this post again (and again!). Thank you so much!
Thank you Mary Beth! I know what you mean about reading it again. I feel like I have to remind myself of this truth which each child (our biological ones too for sure!) at different times over and over. It has been so life-giving, but definitely does not come naturally to me. May you have good success as you speak words of life to your children!
This is true for not only our children but also ourselves, family, and friends. What a great reminder and wonderfully clear and concise message. Thank you.
I totally agree Andrea. That is one of the great things about Truth. It “works” no matter where you apply it. I feel like I’ve learned so many truths because of adoption. It sure is a fertile ground for growth and revelation!!
i really liked this post but that is not what proverbs 23:7 says. I would like to know the reference for that verse you quoted. thanks.
Hey Alyson. Thank you so much for asking about the Proverbs reference. I should have indicated that I was using the Amplified translation. It says, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. As one who reckons, he says to you, eat and drink, yet his heart is not with you [but is grudging the cost].” I really appreciate that you were looking up the reference. Glad you like the post!