I was simply searching for an African doll. That’s all. I emailed a missionary who our church supports, knowing she works with village women who do crafts. Maybe one of them could make a doll. The missionary told me she no longer worked with those women but gave me an email to get in touch with one, Mary Magdalene.
All I did was send her a simple email asking if she or one of the women she works with could make a doll.
But, her response left me stunned. She told me that only 4 days earlier–she gave me even the exact time of day–she had cried out to the Lord asking him to bring someone to buy her crafts.
She had been widowed twice, both husbands had been killed in war, leaving her with 9 children to raise on her own. But, what we would see as a desperate situation did not stop her from bringing 7 orphaned children into her home. One of the children she now cares for was abandoned at the age of 6 because it was discovered that she is HIV+, which she contracted from her parents, the ones who abandoned her. Mary is a strong and faithful woman who trained women in her village to make beads and helped them learn how to sell them in the marketplace. They pool the money made and split it between them so that all are provided for.
But, here she was, crying out for provision, desperate to see God at work. 4 days later, she received my email. I encouraged her to send me what she had–I will find people to buy it, I told her. Just send it, I said. And, she did. She sent jewelry and more jewelry and handmade animals and more jewelry…and two little dolls. The dolls that started it all.
So, here I am with a dining room full of what some may see as paper beads and small animals but what I see as precious jewels and treasures, created by women sitting together in community, caring for the least of these, in faith that He will provide.
Join me in being part of God’s promise to them.
Email me or contact me via Facebook where pictures will be posted for purchase. Or, visit the dedicated page I just created here on We Are Grafted In with pictures and prices for some of the pieces as well.
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Kelly Raudenbush
Forever changed by our experience of being adopted and adopting, Kelly is a stay-at-home mom/manager to 4 children–the youngest of whom is from Baoji, Shaanxi, China–who is a professional juggler, juggling her calling as wife and mother with a small online store (Jiayin Designs), editing, administrating this site, and, now, joining the efforts with
If you are a blog reader of mine, you know I process through writing what God is teaching me–and you also know any time I take a few days off from writing its usually not because I”m busy (because writing is HOW this momma unwinds from her busy)…it”s usually because He”s teaching me and it”s hard to process. I haven”t blogged since Sunday publically–but I did write on Monday, Tuesday and today…very long posts—prayed over them…processed them…and then stowed them away in my heart–and for now that is where they will stay.
The Lord is really teaching me a lot right now–through walking with others in their hardship (their distress) and pain…orphans and widows…choosing to do life together and saying, “We are in this together—for the long haul…and we will look for God and His faithfulness through it.”
While some of my readers may come to my blog and feel “moved” to consider adoption after hearing our experience…or after seeing a sweet coming home video–that, my sweet sisters and brothers, is not really what James 1:27 is about at all—or else anyone not called to adopt wouldn”t be offered a part in true religion–right? Adoption is growing my family–it”s choosing to follow God in growing my family in a different way…and to be willing to do for my newest son what I would and will do for all of my children to be there for them and when need be–walk through times of hardship, healing and pain with them. I can some what guess that it may be more often, however, for the children God brings to me through adoption–but that of course is no promise. We are NOT all called to adopt…any more than we are not all called to have more children biologically–but adoption IS one of the many ways God can use us to change orphans to sons and daughters…and this is GOOD…it is a CALLING…and discerning that calling over emotion is very important.
SO…what about James 1:27? How do we LIVE true religion? Because this–as believers we are all called to–if we want to experience Him fully and live true religion (James 1:27). How do we care for, visit and look after orphans and widows in their distress? How can we help walk with orphans and widows during their time of pain? This verse isn”t about changing orphans to sons and daughters or finding the widow a new spouse–but about going there with them in their distress—and THIS is what true religion is. While only 1% of the estimated 140 million orphans worldwide are considered eligible for adoption, and 90% still have one living parent–or you could say 90% have a widow as a parent. How can we live James 1:27 to these? How can we look after, care for and visit them…and really begin going there in their distress with them? The Lord has been showing me more and more about the answers to these questions–and while my home right now is pretty crazy and may not be the best fit right now to add another one of the precious 1% to come join our crazy–how can God use me right where I am for the other 99%? To really LOOK AFTER these in their time of DISTRESS…oh–I think I”m ready to go there.
When I think about visiting orphans and widows–the first place my heart naturally goes is to our “other family”…my son”s first family. There is a widow and single orphans across the world. Then I think about our next closest–those already around us. Our church alone has countless single orphans whose mom or dad is no longer with them–and essentially in many ways single moms are modern day widows in our culture. How can I live James 1:27–pure and faultless religion? While we follow where the Lord leads in these ways and choose not to always share the ins and outs here–God sees our hearts and our hands–and that is enough. And it is good.
And while most times my tendency is to start at home and move outward–I want to also remember where the places are where the forgotten live? I think about our ministry in Zambia/Africa–where adoption is closed yet more than 1/3 of their children are orphans. WOW. Our eyes are opened when we VISIT them (James 1:27) but naturally more people visit the countries they adopt from. SO–what about these countries that some times fly under the radar? Use us Lord to live James 1:27–to YES serve in our neighborhoods and to live true religion here–but to also some times leave where we are comfortable or feel personally connected to and visit, look after and love widows and orphans in places that aren”t as convenient or as attractive…meeting someone in their distress will never look fun–it”s not a brownie sale and the pain through it is not “blogable” and thankfully so…because there are some things so sacred where true religion resides that should be treasured in our hearts and leave us in worship as we see Him working through us. Following the Lord in the way of James 1:27 will not be easy–but I can promise it will refine and change…and you will be amazed when you see Christ come through. You WILL see His glory. He will be faithful with His presence. And it will be SO SACRED that you won”t publically share it with others…because you will know–it is HOLY…you won”t be able to write about it because you can”t even express it”s power. It is TRUE RELIGION…it is beautifully painful, yet good—and you will want to follow Him again and again in true religion to see Him over and over…and over again. And it makes sense why He calls us to serve and be His hands in this way.
And speaking of visiting orphans and widows in their distress–if you would be interested in joining us on our next trip to Zambia this June–please contact me. We have just a few spots–but we”d love to take you with us! There”s no building. There”s no painting. But there is sitting. We sit and we listen…and we love. As simple as that. And you probably not be able to find the words to write about it either…or words to express how YOU were changed in the process. But James 1:27 doesn”t have to just be around the world…it can be as close as next door. It probably won”t knock on our doors–but when you are ready ask Him to take you there and begin leading you to true religion and worship in this way. I never want to lose sight of what this verse means and what through it we are being asked to do.
As believers, let”s pray how He can use us to live James 1:27 fully and to be used for His great glory and good…
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Andrea Young
I”m a momma of 4–one of whom joined our family in June of 2010 through the miracle of adoption. Our family has been on the board with Wiphan Care Ministries since February 2007 where we help run two schools ministering to 450 orphans and 150 widows daily. We have also recently been led to get our nonprofit for a new ministry Created for Care whose heart is to serve and minister to families in the pre, during, and post-adoption process. I am a writer at heart, a stay-at-home mommy who loves crafts, and I love nothing more than staying “yes” to Jesus…which usually makes for an adventureous life. That”s me in a nutshell.
I realize something lately. I have been getting way too comfortable. See, it’s been almost 3 years since we adopted Hope, and over a year and a half since we brought home Sam, and things are settling down (relatively speaking).
When first home from China, the thought of your child having lived in an orphanage, having gone hungry, or having suffered, is so heavy that it sometimes it seems hard to breathe.
The enormity of it is overwhelming.
You look into the eyes of your scared and fragile child, and they are still so haunted by what has just transpired. They are scarred by what they have gone through, and most times will never form the words to tell you just how bad it was.
You are confronted with it like a smack in the face every single day.
Every single time they look at you.
The gut-wrenching fear when you leave the room.
The eating hoards of food as if there will never be more.
Or in Sam’s case…the not being able to eat since you were never given the chance and you just don’t know how to swallow.
The scared, distant look, or silent cries with puddles of tears that go on for weeks, months, sometimes longer.
It is easy after you have a year or more under your belt to see your now 33-pound toddler–laughing, playing, and loving…
to forget.
It is easy when your now 5 year old gets a glowing report from preschool at how “advanced” she is and how she is a leader amongst her friends and doing so well that she is sure she will excel next year in Kindergarten…
to forget.
To forget that your toddler was skin and bones and couldn’t walk, talk, or eat. That he was hosed off in dirty water and slept in a snowsuit because of the cold–and no heat at his orphanage. To forget that most pictures sent to you he had blue lips, despite their best efforts to keep him warm.
To forget that your daughter was once so petrified when she was handed to you that she actually caused other parents to cry at the pain she felt at being separated from all she has ever known. To forget that she had to be pried away from her caregivers at the orphanage–and that she screamed until she passed out. That she came home hyper to the point of where she couldn’t sit still for more than 3 seconds at a time.
It is easy to get comfortable. It IS easier to push all that unpleasantness far away in your brain and live in the now, relish in how they are doing now, forget what they went through. It is easy and comfortable to do that.
But it is so important NOT to do that.
You see, when you “forget” or “move on,” you forget that there are millions of kids out there–millions of Hopes and Sams. You are ignoring the fact that just because your kid is okay now, that many others are continuing on in that existence who we try and push to the far recesses of our brain.
So I will choose to forever be uncomfortable.
When my babies are sick, and I am holding back their hair while they are vomiting, and nursing them with ginger ale and crackers, and running them a hot bath, cuddling them into clean, cozy jammies…
see the baby in the back?
I will remember the baby I saw in pictures from Sam’s orphanage–face burning with fever, tied to his/her crib in an upright position, probably sick with a cough of some sort. I will look at that picture and the sadness in that baby’s eyes…
and I will feel uncomfortable.
While we are out to eat as a family, ordering appetizers, meals for each kid, and dessert–and most food doesn’t get finished…
I will think of the children who hoard their food, saving for the next pang of hunger to strike. Or think of the babies with prominent ribs, malnourished and waiting for any morsel…
and I will feel uncomfortable.
When we have a birthday party, inviting friends, family, spending money on cake, food, decorations, and most likely a blow-up thing of some sort….
I will think of the children who never have their birthday marked with any special recognition. I will think of the fact that two of my children had birthday’s “assigned” to them since there is no real record of their birth. I will think of the pain of that day for their birth parents…
and I will feel uncomfortable.
When my 6 kids are digging for sandcastles on the beach, frolicking in the waves, and screaming with joy as they do on vacation, getting ready for their 5th night of ice cream…
I will remember the children who have never, ever, left the four walls of the orphanage. Never rode in a car–except when they were brought there. Maybe they will get some time to play outside once and again…but their days, nights, holidays, are all spent within the confines of those walls. Some of them aren’t babies; some are 11, 12, 13 years old and have never left their orphanage. I will remember them, and, yes,
I will feel uncomfortable.
When I snuggle in front of the fire on a bitterly cold day, I will think of them.
When I fill readily available prescriptions,
when I sign kids up for sports,
when I browse the aisles in the grocery store filling my two carts with food,
when I tuck my kids into bed, kissing their sweet smelling heads goodnight,
and when I greet their sleepy eyed, bed-headed selves in the morning…
I will think of all the beautiful children waking to no greeting, no morning kisses, cuddles, and hot breakfast…
and, yet again, I will feel uncomfortable.
When I stop those feelings, is when I am forgetting. Forgetting means orphans do not exist.
To be comfortable is to be ignorant.
And in this case, ignorance is not bliss.
Ignorance hurts children and their chances for a better life. For even one person like myself, sitting and staring at my computer screen in my slippers, can make a difference to them. If only by caring and remembering they are there.
On this very day I urge you…
FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.
Remember them.
Do something to make a difference.
Think of them every single day.
They just might change your life. They sure did mine.
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Amy Dinello
My name is Amy, and I have been married to Darrin for almost 16 years. We have 4 biological kids (Hannah 12, Joseph 8, Caroline 6, Charlie 5) and two children from China (Hope 5 and Samuel 3). Both of our blessings from China were born with limb differences. We are incredibly blessed by the miracle of adoption and would love to talk to anyone about adopting a child with a limb difference. I am a stay-at-home mom who also is a volunteer for Love Without Boundaries. I am the Fundraising Coordinator for their Orphanage Assistance Program. It is an incredible way to remember those children still waiting for a family! I am just happy to be living an amazing life with my family and sharing a bit of our continuing story on our blog.
On January 16, 2010, twin boys were born in Moscow. One of the boys, fully healthy, went home with his parents. The other twin, who was covered with wounds and bruises at birth, was left at a Moscow hospital. Given the confusion of the hospital staff over his condition, minimal attention (the hospital typically has one nurse for 20 infants), and minimal pain medication, it is a miracle he survived those early months.
But, he did. God sustained him.
Through the blessing of some relief organizations who learned about this little man and his diagnosis of Butterfly skin disease (Epidermolysis Bullosa, EB), he was able to spend a few months in a different hospital with a personal nurse where he was able to receive good medical care as well as toys and a connection with someone who cared for him. But, he is soon to be transferred to an orphanage where he will not receive the kind of care he has been getting simply due to lack of resources or skills in dealing with his medical needs.
And, so, we are advocating for him here. He needs a family.
Could you be his family? Could God use you to care for this child, His child in a miraculous way?
There is a webpage created to advocate for him. And, Anton is currently listed on Reece’s Rainbow, a website that spotlights available children for adoption with special needs and works to build adoption grants for the family God has chosen for these children.
Please visit his page on Reece’s Rainbow, consider donating (it’s tax deductible) towards the grant for his adoption.
A few weeks ago, during MLK week, Blair’s class assignment was to write her dream. They completed this assignment at school, and she made no mention of “her dream” until last week when she brought home her school work. I was going through her papers and when I came to this page, I asked her to come in and tell me about it.
You see, my Blair is my thinker. My ponderer (is that really a word?). My save-the-world child.
So when my sweet, tender-hearted child read her dream to me, tears in her eyes, explaining how badly she wants all kids in China to have a home, I lost it right along with her.
She went on to tell me she wanted them to have a mama and daddy. To have sisters that love them and play with them. To have homes with families that love God so that they can know about Him and his love for them.
I’m not surprised at all that this is Blair’s dream. Since we got home with Kate, Blair has asked a lot of questions. Big questions. Really hard to answer questions. And she thinks about the answers, what they mean to her and for the orphans.
She also asked if we could pick kids out to pray for. So we have. Each month, or until the child finds a family, we go through “the list” and pick 3 kids. We print their pictures with their names and ages, and we pray for them each night. And not one night goes by that we don’t pray for them. Just the other night, I was out running an errand, and Mike put the girls to bed. When I came through the door he said, “Blair said to wake her when you got home because y’all have to pray for the girls.” So I did.
I believe that Blair’s tender, soft heart is spot on. I think that we should ache for these kids to have homes. We should be helping them any way we can. I am not saying we should all adopt, but I am saying we should care. We should find a way to help, and we can help in so many other ways than adoption.
This is where my conversation with Blair went after we both stopped crying. She started talking about ways to help. Of course her first question was, “Can we adopt them all?” Love that girl! After I explained that that is just not possible, she came up with other ways. Here is her list:
We can pray for the kids each day/night. Pray that they are healthy, loved, cared for, and that their families find them soon. If you want to do this and need a few kids let me know. We have a list going.
We can collect things an orphanage needs and then mail the care package, or we can order things in China to have them delivered to the orphanage. If you want more info on this please let me know.
And this is how our talk finished:
“Mom, will you and Dad help me with my dream?”
“Of course, babe.”
“But, it’s a big dream, Mom.”
“Yes, Love, it is.”
“But, we can do it?”
“Yes, baby, we can.”
And off she skipped spouting off what she was going to do next to make her dream come true.
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Ashley Milford
Ashley is a social worker turned stay-at-home mom who rarely stays at home. She has been married for 11 years to the man who makes her laugh until her side hurts and can fix anything with a hug. They have have 3 miracles girls, the youngest (by only 6 months) joined their family from China this past summer. You can check out their adoption journey and musings on life as they know it on her blog.
I enjoy studying people, and I’ve been at it for some time now. If you go to the mall, I’m the guy on the bench with no bags and no intention of shopping. You’re the reason I’m there. I’m watching you and hundreds more in hopes of discovering something new. One of my discoveries is how funny people look when they are mad (have you ever noticed that a lot of mall shoppers are mad?). If they had any idea how silly they looked fussing at their spouse they’d save their little fit for later.
Another, more serious discovery I’ve made is the role fear plays in motivating people. And, one of the greatest fears in our country is the fear of failing. Everyone on the planet wants to win, but Americans hate to fail! So, each morning, millions of us wake up driven by this passion to climb the ladder of success. Amazingly, most Americans successfully navigate the pitfalls, overcoming sometimes ridiculously huge obstacles. And, at the conclusion of their lives, many of them stand triumphantly at the top of the success ladder. Ah, sweet victory! The only problem is, more often than not, they discover in the end that their success ladder was leaning against the wrong building! I have to believe that the greatest fear in our lives should NOT be the fear of failure but rather the fear of succeeding at the wrong things. Hmmm . . . so many wrong things . . . what’s the right thing?
Before God created you, He created something that needed to be done. Then, He created you to do that “something,” and no one on the planet can do that “something” like you can. It’s why you were custom designed with your personality, abilities, and gifts. Friends, that incredible “something” is the “right thing” to lean your life ladder on. It
Have you checked out this page featuring ministries who have taken on the cause of helping orphans and encouraging adoption worldwide?
One of the organizations listed there is Bring Me Hope. Bring Me Hope works with hundreds of volunteers every year to deliver love and encouragement to Chinese orphans. Their mission is to meet the Chinese orphan
The enemy: Referred to as the “destroyer” {1 Cor. 10:10, Ps. 17:4, Job 15:21, Ex. 12:23}.
Sin: Leads to destruction/death {James 1:15, Romans, Due. 24:16}.
Many of us have seen first hand the effects the destroyer and sin have on children.
Their lives become mere ashes.
If you would have told me 5 years ago {when we first started adopting} just how far the destroyer would go to destroy children to ashes, I would not have believed you.
Now I know differently.
I understand the lengths the enemy will go.
I know that sin, even in the life of a child, truly will lead to destruction/death.
My heart has been broken.
I have read about {and experienced first-hand} 5 year olds in bondage to,
sexual sin
idolatry
thievery
deception.
I have watched as my own 5-year-old daughter attempted to eat out of a garbage heap {despite the fact that she has never known hunger}.
BUT.
We have a promise, mamas.
One that is much, much bigger than the plans of the destroyer.
One that breaks the bonds of sin.
JESUS.
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives, and the opening of prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to give them beauty from ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit, that they may be called the oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. Isa. 61:1-3
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The McCourtneys
Zane and Summer McCourtney met and married in 2001. They have been ministering in Uganda since 2004, first at a Bible college and church planting and now working with the unreached people in Northern Uganda, a region of the country devastated by 25 years of rebel war. They
