From March 18, 2012…
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There is a woman out there somewhere who is still grieving.
She is grieving because one year ago she gave birth to a tiny, beautiful little girl. A little girl she didn
How Dare I Not?
My mother has a friend, an elderly man, who was preparing to go on a cruise. This first required a flight and before leaving for the airport the man, knowing that he might be walking on some uneven territory, grabbed an old cane, a walking stick that had belonged to his grandfather. It had sat in the corner, used only occasionally.
The man and his traveling companions stood in line for security at the airport. They noticed that those to whom they had entrusted to keep them safe were eying his cane very carefully, examining it from every angle. Suddenly, to the extreme surprise of the gentleman, the agent pulled on the cane and out whisked a very long, very sharp sword.
Chaos ensued. The travelers were rushed away, interrogated, but fortunately were deemed harmless and allowed to travel, sans the antique threat to national security.
It’s been dry around here lately. My heart, I mean. My spirit is parched.
Last November I spoke at a retreat on the extremely weighty issue of how God uses our suffering for His glory. I believed that God had called me to tackle this topic but the stress of it was overwhelming. After reading every book I could find on suffering, listening to every podcast, and pouring over every bible verse, and trying not to throw up in between sessions, I was drained. I had immersed myself in the Word for weeks and when it was all over, my sin nature immediately said “No more! Bring on the chick lit! DVR up the drivel! I need a break from all things deep and godly!”
It’s disgusting, actually.
About this same time, I discovered things about the adoption industry in Ethiopia that ushered in more nausea. Overwhelmed by information and confronted by the shocking ugliness of sin, plus accepting that bringing our daughter home is probably not on God’s agenda for 2012 caused my spirit to withdraw even more. Am I angry at God? I don’t think so. Am I jaded and cynical? More than ever before. Am I in despair? Yes.
Throw in the all the other worldly diversions and my bible has sat neglected for weeks.
My soul almost recoils at the thought of reading it. My short prayers consist mainly of, “I’m really sorry God. Thank you for loving me anyway.”
Oh wretched woman that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death?
Tension
We’re experiencing the tension of being foster parents.
Our foster baby’s mom has come into the picture for the first time since he was born. He’ll start to have regular visits with her next week.
There is much tension in my heart as I want the woman who birthed him to know how much we love him and how we have done everything we can to protect and nurture him.
And, I want her to know that SHE is loved, because I know this life hasn’t been easy for her. She’s where she is in life because of some things that aren’t her fault.
And, I want her to know I’m not the enemy. That I want the best for him. Whatever and wherever that may be.
I want redemption for her: restoration for her body, her spirit, and her life.
But, I love this sweet baby boy who currently lives in our home. As all this has played out this past week, I’ve wanted to grab him and hold him and not let go.
And, I want to make her earn the right to see him because she’s left him for the last three months.
I want to grab her face in my hands and say, “Don’t you know what you’ve missed? Was it worth it?”
But, I realize that she has given me a gift for the past three months. And her gift is the result of a life that has been littered with heartache and devastation.
And there is the tension.
We need loads and loads of prayer as we navigate these new waters.
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Leslie has been married to her husband Brian for a little over 2 years. They live in Montgomery, Alabama where Leslie works for a nonprofit agency and Brian is a student pastor. They are passionate about caring for the orphan and have helped start ONEfamily, an adoption, foster care, and orphan care ministry in their church. Their free time is made up of watching football, eating Mexican food, and spending time with their rambunctious puppy, Knox. They have chosen to adopt first and are currently fostering a little guy and awaiting a referral of one or two children from the Democratic Republic of Congo. You can read more about their adventures here.
Following a God-agenda
I
Surrounded
As I write this I
Fear Not
I often think of the foster children who have passed through our home.
{Advocating} For the Strong Hero
“Who will be my buddy?”
These are the first words I heard Peter speak (in Mandarin).
It was Day 1 of the Bring Me Hope summer camp for orphans, and Peter was waiting with eager anticipation as he watched the campers get matched up with their buddies. As an exhausted staff member, I had previously decided to not have a buddy that week.
Plans changed.
With one look at this little boy, I knew we were supposed to spend the week together. I walked across the room and grabbed Peter’s hand, announcing I was his buddy. The smile that erupted on his face is etched in my memory forever. During that first day, Peter and I bonded more quickly than any other child I had every been matched with–evidenced during Day 2’s water gun fights. For over an hour, Peter positioned himself between me and the others shouting, “You can’t shoot her! If you shoot her I will get you!” I laughed as I watched him race around, trying to protect me by shooting all the other kids with water.
As the week progressed, my laughter turned into sorrow as I saw this precious boy yearning for love. If I spent one moment with another child, Peter would become jealous. He thought he had to work harder to earn my love. He served me food, filled my cup with water, gave me his toys, stole candy from other children to give to me, and even wrote me notes and drew pictures. The pictures always told the same story. He carefully colored a strong prince and one princess. When he gave it to me he said I was the princess, and he was the hero.
Even though he had a soft heart, Peter was strong. He tried to hide the fact that he wore a diaper because of being born with a myelomeningocele (spina bifida), disappearing for short times to change himself. When he returned, he pretended like nothing happened. I watched all of this and decided that Peter was my strong hero.
Friday came; time to say goodbye. I had been dreading this moment all week and wasn’t sure how Peter would respond. Hist strength faltering, he held my hand tightly as we walked to the car door. Before he got in, a small tear fell down his cheek. The first tear I had seen all week. Hesitating for just a moment, Peter turned around and hugged me tightly. As I wrapped my arms around him, a personal responsibility for him grew in my heart. He may be leaving, but I was his advocate.
The car pulled out of the driveway. As tears streamed down my face, it began to pour rain. I looked heavenward and asked the Lord, “Why is he alone? Why doesn’t he have a family?” The reply? “Becca, you can speak loudly on his behalf.”
And so I am. Would you consider bringing this little boy, my little brother, into your family?
His words are still in my heart: “You’re going to find me a family, aren’t you Becca?” desperately loving me to his best ability during the week when God redefined love for me.
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This little hero (b. 9/18/2001) is currently on the shared list waiting for his family to find him. A family can use any agency to bring him home.
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Hey everyone, my name is Becca Bolt and I live in California. Since my parents adopted in 2003 and in 2005, my heart has grown into a crazy love for the vulnerable. They need voices to speak up on their behalf, and I knew I could be a voice. I am still a student at San Diego Christian College and will graduate in a few months. Wherever the Lord leads me (which is looking like China), I know I will be loving the helpless, for that is where His heart is.”
Adopting {lots and lots and LOTS of babies}
When we started the paperwork to adopt Emery, I thought and prayed deeply about the impact and impression it will make on our family.
Could I handle the unknowns that were sure to come?
Surgeries, doctors visits, therapy sessions, emoptional scars, family counseling, attachment issues, etc.
The possible negatives could mount up quickly if not kept in check with God’s ability to heal.
Now, 6 months in, I’m finding I have so much yet to learn. So many days that I wonder if the choices I am making as a parent are the right ones. I struggle. It’s hard.
My dad always says:
Anything highly worthy of doing is the hardest thing you can do
and he’s right…oh so right.
But there is another side to the challenge…it’s the reward. today, I was present for something God needed me to see…one of the many rewards of adoption: its impression on my family.
I’ve seen an incredible change in Foster and Rowan over these past few months. Especially in Foster.
When we sit to eat, he often asks
When we sit to eat, he often asks
One Daddy’s Love Letter
Below is a beautiful letter my husband wrote to our foster baby.
You Are One
What If?
You were misunderstood, isolated, never held, never educated, had to wash your bedpan, had no concept of mom or dad, weren’t allowed to touch anyone else, but were actually perfectly normal by all appearances (except one unseen diagnosis)?
As crazy as this sounds, this is the story of Xiao Ling, a 3 year old from Zhonshan, China.
For many reasons, HIV is not something China has a lot of experience dealing with. Subsequently, many of the same misconceptions, misunderstandings, and unjustified fears of years past are the norm. Xiao is HIV positive but is being dealt with as if he has leprosy and can’t be touched or isn’t worth educating. Through a random posting, I encountered this article about Xiao, and it has touched something deep within me and Melissa.
I should probably back up and explain why. In November, we attended an annual fundraising banquet. It’s extremely encouraging to be around so many like minded people wanting to defend the fatherless. The theme was ONE, that you can help one, it only takes one person to make difference, etc…something we’ve always shared with people who ask why we’ve chosen the path we have for our family.
Heading into the banquet, Melissa and I were at the point of praying for where God would lead us next on our orphan advocacy journey. We both had prayed and agreed we were not supposed to go down the traditional adoption path again; fill out application, pick a country, wait for a referral, etc. We simply agreed we knew we were to be at the ready when God calls to act, and this is where we’ve been for many months.
In the midst of the banquet, while David Platt was speaking, our new path became apparent to me. We were to advocate for the orphaned in China who have been diagnosed as HIV+. I didn’t mention this immediately to Melissa as I needed to make sure this “stuck” if you know what I mean. We’ve all been swept up in the emotion of an event to only wonder later what in heaven’s name were we thinking?! The clarity around this never subsided in the coming weeks, so I finally shared my heart with Melissa at the next opportunity. I told her we should make it known that we are willing and ready to help ONE child in China who has been diagnosed HIV+. She hardly blinked and said YES.
Very shortly after, while searching adoption and orphan stories, I found the above article and simply sent it to Melissa because it was in line with our discussions. Not so much to say “here is a child,” but to begin the discussion around the apparent need. If you read the article, it states this boy is not adoptable (which isn’t correct), and it didn’t state what orphanage he is in. Through some internet sloothing, I believe we’ve found the orphanage and have talked with an adoption agency who has previous experience getting HIV+ children adopted into the US. They have indeed been able to help us locate him, and we are now waiting to hear what can be done for him. At the minimum, he needs someone to go there and love on him.
So, at this time, we are advocating for Xiao. Whether he is to be a Freeman some day is unknown but we are trying to see if there is a foster family near him willing to take him or anything to get him out of his “jail” like conditions.
He is ONE boy.
Made in the image of God.
Who needs ONE person to make a difference.
Please join us in praying for Xiao and how God can use us to help and advocate for him.
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I’m an Educator by trade, father of 5 (2 internationally adopted), love participating in triathlons and have been a Christian since my early teens. I am currently the Vice President of Academic Affairs for Virginia College’s online division based out of Birmingham, Al and quickly becoming overwhelmed (in a good way) with volunteer work with Lifesong for Orphans and their international orphan care ministry along with organizing short term missions recently at our church. Read more from Chris and how God has already worked on behalf of Xiao on Chris’ blog.