Sarah Bandimere, Author at The Sparrow Fund

January 26, 2015May 8, 2015

For This One

I was weary.
After all of the months of planning and organizing we were finally on our way to Ukraine. But instead of being overwhelmed with joy, in my fatigue, I allowed fear and doubt to come in. It would take three trips to complete Sergey’s adoption. Who, in their right mind, flies three times to a country that is in the middle of a war, when they have six children at home? It’s was crazy, positively crazy.
On the plane to Amsterdam, I couldn’t sleep. A commercial airplane, on its way to Ukraine, had been shot down just a couple of months prior to this time. What would our children do if they lost both of us? I tried to distract myself with a movie. Dead Poets Society wasn’t exactly a wise choice.
When we arrived in Kiev, my spirit relaxed a bit. I had a couple of days of reprieve from my emotions, as David and I walked around the center, drinking in the beauty of the cathedrals and the parks. But on the night before our SDA appointment, sleep escaped me once again, and worry was set into my heart. A 16-year-old boy? What in the world could we possibly be thinking? In the desperation of the moment, I asked God if there was any chance of a way out. I’m sad to say that there was actually a part of me hoped for a way out.
Our appointment went smoothly, however, and despite my fears, we were truly grateful. After we received the official paperwork, we were surprised to find out that we would be leaving for Sergey’s orphanage at midnight. It was in the middle of this pothole-laden seven hour drive that the questions resurfaced. Could we really do this? How in the world would we be able to make this trip two more times? I was already exhausted and our children were missing us. Why did we come all the way to Ukraine anyway? There were plenty of children in the US who needed homes and it wouldn’t cost us thousands of dollars to adopt one of them.
The questions swirled around in my mind, causing panic to rise up in my heart.
But in that moment of fear, God intervened. He whispered to my heart…
“Dear one, didn’t you say that you wanted to be like me? This is what I do. I go to the ends of the earth to rescue the ones that I love. I will travel any road, climb any mountain, cross any sea to reach my beloved ones. I give everything that I have, all the love that is in me, to gather up my needy ones and carry them in my arms. It is good that this journey is long, because it gives you just a glimpse into how far I will go for my children. Will you join me in this willingly? Will you joyfully rescue this child, this precious one, this son whom I have chosen?
Daughter, I did it for you. Will you do this for Me?”
In a moment, I experienced complete peace and joy. Yes. I would do this willingly. Yes. I would go to the ends of the earth for this precious boy. Our dear Father had just shown me His beautiful heart and I found it irresistible. He had done it for me, and my friends, He did it for each one of you, as well.

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David and Sarah have been joyfully married for 19 years. God has blessed them with seven amazing children (one homegrown, two from Ukraine, and four from China). They recently moved to the urban core of Kansas City where they are learning to give their lives away (and raise chickens!) within their inner city church family. You can read more about what God is doing in their lives on facebook or at http://davidandsarahb.blogspot.com.

August 19, 2014August 19, 2014

The Battle Belongs to the Lord

A couple of nights ago, I had a dream about Sergey. It was our first meeting, and in my dream, the time with him was tender and sweet. So, it was surprising when I woke up with this 80’s worship song running through my mind:

“The Battle Belongs To The Lord”
In heavenly armour we’ll enter the land
The battle belongs to the Lord
No weapon that’s fashioned against us shall stand
The battle belongs to the Lord

We sing glory and honor
Power and strength to the Lord
[repeat]

The power of darkness comes in like a flood
The battle belongs to the Lord
He’s raised up a standard, the power of His blood
The battle belongs to the Lord

When your enemy presses in hard do not fear
The battle belongs to the Lord
Take courage my friend, your redemption is near
The battle belongs to the Lord

It was a surprising song, in light of my dream, but on the other hand, not so surprising, considering all of the circumstances surrounding Sergey’s adoption.

This one has been hard, my friends.

Along with the initial problem of Sergey not being allowed to come to the US for hosting, we have also encountered crazy delays, having to re-do our paperwork multiple times, and opposition almost every step of the way. At moments, it has caused us to question whether or not we were on the right path. But, as we have prayed, we have become more and more convinced that the enemy of our souls would love for us to give up on Sergey. Our Glorious Savior, on the other hand, never will (and because we love Him and long to be like Him, neither will we!).

So that’s why, when I went to my first DHL service center to mail our dossier, and they told me that they no longer mail things DHL, I could actually begin to see the humor of the situation. And when at the second service center (in a very scary part of town), I had to literally yell above the volume of the music playing inside the building (“No. That’s okay. If you’re not sure that it will make it there, I think that I should probably go somewhere else.”), I could laugh out loud while exiting the building.

I could laugh because I know who will win this battle.
I know who already has the victory, my friends.

But, I also know that we need you. We need each one of you, our precious friends, to pray along with us. We need you to pray for Sergey, that his heart would be kept in peace and joy while he waits for us. We need you to pray for our family, that we would continue to trust in the Lord and not get discouraged by all of these crazy delays. We need you to pray against the powers of darkness, that would do everything conceivable to keep Sergey right where he is at.

We need you, dear friends.
Your prayers matter.
Thank you, for fighting this battle along with our family, and ultimately, with our Lord.
He will be victorious!

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David and Sarah have been joyfully married for almost 18 years. They have been blessed with 6 wonderful children (one homegrown son, a daughter from Ukraine and four children from China) and are waiting to travel to Ukraine for another son. They love Jesus and are grateful that He has recently led them to the urban core of Kansas City where they are learning to give their lives away as they build His church in the inner city. You can read more about what God is doing in their lives at http://davidandsarahb.blogspot.com.

March 7, 2014March 7, 2014

Tears, Tantrums, and Tummy Troubles

Oh my! That’s an ominous title.

But friends, I want to be real with you. I want you to know that even with the easiest of adoptions, there will be difficulties.

Why is that?

Because we’re adopting human beings here…little persons who sometimes (or often) sin.
And not only are they human beings, but they are human beings who have experienced trauma, in the past, and who have just experienced trauma by leaving the place that they know and entering into a whole new world.

Oh how I wish that I would have understood this more completely with our first adoptions! Tantrums brought me to near breakdown, and I took many of my childrens’ outbursts far too personally. I was more concerned with how I might look, than with helping to heal their little hearts. I was always trying to catch them up (emotionally, physically and socially), rather than appreciating how amazing and brave they were for coming through such intense trauma with so many wonderful qualities!

Up until this past weekend, this little angel boy has displayed hardly any of the behaviors that are so common with adopted children.

But then Kaikai got sick (serious tummy trouble–he threw up on the dog!). And then, he didn’t sleep well for two nights. And then, he was g.r.u.m.p.y. on Saturday. Everything and everyone was “very bad” (his words–yay for learning so much English already!) and he had a couple of full-fledged tantrums. He was tired of feeling yucky and tired of not being able to communicate his needs to us.

Whew! It was a loooooong day.

But friends, even though it was difficult (and I will admit, I hid away in my room for a half-an-hour when I was in serious need of a break), I look back and know that it was such a good day! We overcame some real difficulty and came out on the other end with Kaikai being a little more sure that we will love him no matter what. I truly consider it an honor that God has entrusted David and I to help our son to heal from his past wounds. What a privilege to partner with God to pour love out on this little man!

Most days it is easy (and I am sooooo grateful for that!). But, at the end of a difficult day, there is the satisfaction of knowing that Kaikai’s life is being redeemed, that he is learning how to love and trust us more and that we are being formed more into the image of Christ, as a result.

Thank you, Jesus, for wonderful days! But thank you, also, for days that involve tears, tantrums and tummy troubles, because those days help our son to trust us more, and they help us to trust You more.

Oh my goodness!

I LOVE adoption!

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David and Sarah have been joyfully married for almost 18 years. They have been blessed with 6 wonderful children (one homegrown son, a daughter from Ukraine and four children from China) and are never sure if they’re “done yet”! They love Jesus and are grateful that He has recently led them to the urban core of Kansas City where they are learning to give their lives away as they build His church in the inner city. You can read more about what God is doing in their lives at http://davidandsarahb.blogspot.com.

February 10, 2014

What Has God Done For You?

We try to be very intentional about our dinnertime conversations. David, especially, loves to challenge our children to think about and respond to sermons that we’ve listened to, things that we’re discussing at school and books that we’ve read. The kids have been learning to ask deep questions during our mealtimes, as well. Getting into the swing of things a few nights ago, Grace asked the question, “What has God done for you?”

I loved some of their answers (which were very elaborate and detailed, but I’ll just give you the main points).

He died for me.

He gave me a rock-n-rollin’ family.

He gave me a dad whose like an angel.

He let you adopt me.

He loved me so much.

It was amazing to me that the two things that our children said that they valued the most were the love of Jesus, who died for us, and becoming beloved sons and daughters, through adoption.

Even though our children often tell us that they love us (and some of them even tell us that we are the best parents in the whole world…hehehe…just wait until they discover the truth!), I was surprised at how strongly each one expressed his/her joy in being adopted. I certainly wouldn’t have expected this, anymore than I would have expected a birth child to express such gratitude for being born. But, I also know that when a person has experienced the sort of loss that our precious children have experienced, that person can either get angry, or he/she can choose to love, forgive and be grateful for what he/she does have. I’m so glad that each one of our children is learning to be the latter sort of person.

adoption

It’s a beautiful thing.

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David and Sarah have been joyfully married for almost 18 years. They have been blessed with 6 wonderful children (one homegrown son, a daughter from Ukraine and four children from China) and are never sure if they’re “done yet”! They love Jesus and are grateful that He has recently led them to the urban core of Kansas City where they are learning to give their lives away as they build His church in the inner city. You can read more about what God is doing in their lives at http://davidandsarahb.blogspot.com.

October 7, 2013October 7, 2013

Knowing Who You Are {The Spirit of Adoption}

It was a warm, beautiful day in Guangzhou. David and Kaikai were walking a little ways behind Grace, Lily and myself, so the girls and I stopped to look out over the lake. A (non-Chinese) man walked up next to us. “You have beautiful daughters,” he exclaimed.I thanked him and continued to talk to my girls.”Is their father Chinese?” he asked.”They are adopted,” I explained.”I see. Why didn’t you want to have children of your own?” he then asked.I had an instant flash of anger that this man would ask such a question in front of my girls. “They are my own,” I answered curtly.”Oh, you know what I mean,” he continued, oblivious to my irritation. “And what about their real mother?”
That was when I decided that it was time to leave. I turned to him and explained quite clearly that I was their real mother, since I was the one who loved them and took care of them and lived with them.

“Yeah,” Lily added in her characteristic, firm way, and then we walked away.Later on, I asked my precious Lily if she felt hurt by what that man had said. Her response surprised me at first. “No,” she said, “That sort of thing doesn’t bother me. I know that you’re my real mom,” and then she gave me a hug.But when I thought about her response later, I wasn’t so surprised, because my sweet Lily
knows who she is.

Lily is a beloved daughter.
She is absolutely treasured.
She is accepted, cherished and greatly loved.
She knows that she takes my breath away.
She knows that there is nothing that she can do to lose David’s and my love for her.

She is ours and we are hers.

Lily is so secure in who she is, that it caused me to ask myself,

“Do I know who I am, like that?”When the world tells me I am not good enough, or that I am unwanted and unloved, does my heart respond with the truth?Do I say, I am a beloved daughter!?

I am treasured, cherished, accepted and greatly loved.

Do I know that I take my Father’s breath away?!

Am I aware that there is nothing that I can do to lose my Father’s love?

I am His and He is mine.Oh Father, it’s true!

I am Your beloved daughter and there is nothing that anyone can do or say to change that. Let this fact grow deeper and deeper into my heart. Let it be my identity.And dear friends, may it be your identity, as well!

May you know who you are in Christ . . .

a daughter/son of the King!

Absolutely beloved.

Thank you, Father, that is who we really and truly are!

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David and Sarah have been joyfully married for almost 18 years. They have been blessed with 6 wonderful children (one homegrown son, a daughter from Ukraine and four children from China) and are never sure if they’re “done yet”! They love Jesus and are grateful that He has recently led them to the urban core of Kansas City where they are learning to give their lives away as they build His church in the inner city. You can read more about what God is doing in their lives at Our Un(convent)ional Life.

Blog

Author: Sarah Bandimere

For This One

The Battle Belongs to the Lord

Tears, Tantrums, and Tummy Troubles

What Has God Done For You?

Knowing Who You Are {The Spirit of Adoption}