She sits in my family room. She is mine, she is a gift from the Lord. Her daddy adores her, her brother and sister think she hung the moon.

Today I ask myself. What if I would have missed it? What if I wasn’t willing to surrender my whole life, my family, my finances, my home, my dreams my desires to the Lord? What if I would have continued to be so self-centered? What if I would have continued to make the excuses? What if I would have continued with the “we don’t have the money” line I would tell myself? I KNOW what if….I would have missed it! I would have missed the opportunity, the blessing the gift of being this little girl’s MOMMY!

I am thankful that I surrendered and let God bring me to my knees. I am glad He “bonked” me on the head. I am glad He took my world and turned it up side down. YES, it hurts sometimes. Because my flesh is/was so strong. SO calloused. My flesh screams sometimes but my SPIRIT is strong because of Jesus in me. He comforts me. He reminds me, He leads me. He is WONDERFUL!

SO, today as I sit here and watch her play with bristle blocks, I am thankful and broken. I am broken because of all of the other MILLIONS of little girls in the world will not have a warm bath and clean clothes and kisses from their mommy. They will not have a full belly and bristle blocks to play with. They will not have the opportunity to hear of God’s love for them. They will sit alone, sometimes cold, most of the time very hungry and all of the time lonely. Wishing they had a mommy, a daddy, a brother or sister. A family. It is not about the big house we think we need to have to add another child. It is not about the big fancy car we think we need to cart the kids around town. It is not about the perfectly decorated bedroom we think we need to have for a child. It is about family and God’s call to care for the orphan.

God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. Psalm 68:6a

I am leveled when I think of all of the excuses I made. I am leveled when I think about my selfishness. I am leveled when I think of God’s faithfulness and the “fight” He put in me for these kids. I will not stop until He comes back to get me. I will sing of His mercies and grace. I will teach my children HIS ways. I will honor Him with my life. I will care for the orphan and oppressed. I will seek Him each day. I will be a voice for the voiceless.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, and to proclaim the year of the Lord