It Takes a Village {Together Called 2014}

Together Called 2014 is only 5 weeks away!  In addition to hearing from Stephen and Beth Templeton in the main sessions, couples who are attending will have the opportunity to hear from some others who have been prayerfully preparing to share with them during two different breakout session times.  We are so thankful for their commitment to helping make Together Called 2014 a time of restoration and refreshment for attendees.  Won’t you join us in praying not only for the attendees, but for the following speakers — part of the “Together Called Village” — as they prepare to share what God has laid on their hearts.

Photo: Can't wait to fill this room at this year's Together Called in 5 1/2 weeks!

The Biological and Adoptive Family: Parenting With Grace in a Blended Family – Tim and Nancy Shaw

Adoption is born out of loss and disruption. Primarily a loss for the child(ren) you are adopting but also a disruption to your marriage and the lives of the children who are anxiously awaiting the arrival of their new sibling. Blending the family God intended for you will be hard. But, in accordance to His perfect plan, God has provided us with all we need and come to a place of great joy in this process. In this session, Tim and Nancy will share the good, the bad, and the ugly of their adoption story and practical strategies for blending biological and adoptive children. They’ll discuss preparing the family for the arrival of new family members, using your children’s natural personalities to your advantage, what to do about the inevitable squabbling and sibling rivalry, and how discipline changes as blending occurs.
About the speakers: Tim and Nancy both grew up and live in gorgeous Arizona. Tim is an adult adoptee, and Nancy is a soccer mom and reluctant city girl. They were highschool sweethearts and are now parents to 7 children (4 homegrown and 3 through the blessing of special needs adoption), none of whom have actually ever played soccer. Tim and Nancy put their faith in the Lord to direct their path and get them though each fabulously crazy moment.  Nancy blogs at Ordinary Miracles & The Crazy 9.

It Takes a Village of Two – Mark and Kelly Raudenbush

Intentional parenting of kids from hard places is not easy. All the traditional methods of correction we know have to be reconsidered. As we set out to meet the unique needs of each of our children, it’s imperative that moms and dads approach correction as a team. This session will provide a little bit of why and how and then give an opportunity for couples to wrestle through some real life application for their own families.
About the speakers: Mark and Kelly Raudenbush founded The Sparrow Fund in 2011, having been changed by the adoption of their youngest child and desiring to serve adoptive families. Kelly holds a Masters degree in counseling, and they both have been trained to teach the Empowered to Connect material which is based on TBRI, Karyn Purvis’ research and methods for children from hard places. They consider it a joy to pour into both mothers and fathers who are eager to do the right thing for their families, encouraging parents to understand their own hearts more clearly as they seek to care for the hearts of their children. Mark and Kelly have been married for 15 years, have 4 children, and also work professionally with a nonprofit reaching students in Asia.  Kelly blogs at My Overthinking.

Let’s Play: Building Blocks, Building Attachment – Cheryl Walters

Play isn’t only about fun and games. In this session, Cheryl Walters will explain the importance of child’s play in building attachment and fostering positive parent-child relationships. She will also share different ideas about how to play with your children during different seasons of life for the “play-challenged,” focusing on how we can be attuned to our children and maximize interaction.
About the speaker: Cheryl Walters is a Licensed Psychologist since 1985. She is a Registered Clinician with ATTACh (Association for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children) as well as a Certified Theraplay Therapist. Cheryl designed, implemented, provided services, and fulfilled the role of Supervisory/Consulting Psychologist in a specialized treatment program for children/adolescents and their parents/families with diagnoses associated with Reactive Attachment Disorder, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, and Developmental Trauma Disorder. Currently, Cheryl specializes in providing outpatient psychotherapy for attachment issues and early trauma as a psychotherapist at Bethany Christian Services.

Nutrition for Our Kids: Some Things to Chew On – Wanda Graham

You don’t have to bite off more than you can chew to provide your children with good nutrition! With her love for cooking and passion to have healthy kids, Wanda Graham has invested herself in learning how good nutrition can bless children who have experienced trauma. In this session, Wanda will serve up an overview of the impact of nutrition on our children and the role we have as parents to meet our children’s needs in this way as well as provide bite-sized tips to healthy meal and snack options that will be well received and won’t make parents feel like they need to be masters of the kitchen or spend a fortune at the store.
About the speaker: Wanda Graham has been married to Matt for 14 years. Their home here in Lancaster County is a busy one, bustling with 6 children, all of whom have joined their family via adoption (one private domestic adoption, five adoptions through foster care). She is passionate about caring for the fatherless and the families who graft them in as their own. Wanda and Matt have been joyfully serving on the leadership team for Together Called since last year’s retreat.

Together to the Throne – hosted by Stephen and Beth Templeton

There are times when what we need most is simply for someone to stand with us in prayer. This session is set aside just for that. No teaching except what you hear from God in prayer; no topic except the one you bring for prayer. Jesus said, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” During this time, Stephen and Beth, our keynote speakers, will stand together with couples, believing God for His kingdom to break in to the situations that are on your heart and for His voice to speak louder than all the others as you walk this adoption journey.
About the facilitators: Stephen and Beth Templeton, our keynote speakers, serve as elders at Northlands Church where Beth also leads a ministry to mothers and Stephen is a worship leader. Thirteen years ago, after having had three biological children, the Lord called Stephen and Beth to adopt four children from Russia, so now there are 9 Templetons. Both Stephen and Beth have a passion for communicating the joy, peace, and victory available to us as adoptive parents. Stephen is also a physician and practices dermatopathology in Atlanta.  You can read their blog here: Hope at Home.

Trauma and the Adopted child: What it is and What to do – Dr. Phil Monroe

Does adoption represent a trauma for the adopted child and his or her new family? Might trauma explain some of the problem behaviors your child exhibits? In this session, Dr. Monroe, director of the Global Trauma Recovery Institute, will review the characteristics of posttraumatic stress disorder and complex trauma along with options for treatment adoptive parents should consider. Dr. Monroe will also discuss recommendations for parents and loved ones, those who are most impacted by the adoption of children who have experienced trauma.
About the speaker: Phil Monroe is a licensed psychologist and Professor of Counseling & Psychology at Biblical Seminary. He directs both the MA in Counseling degree program and Global Trauma Recovery Institute. Phil has been married to Kim for the past 23 years and together they adopted two infant boys who are now 15 and 13. Phil’s professional and personal musings can be found at www.wisecounsel.wordpress.com.

What’s Romance Got to Do With It? – Jeff and Cheryl Nitz

All of us experience unique challenges balancing the needs of our children and maintaining a growing vital marriage. And, loving and caring for our spouses, including having some semblance of a love life, is an important way that we care for them, ourselves, and even our family as a whole. Come join Jeff and Cheryl as they share some of their own journey as adoptive parents and offer thoughts about how best to foster a fun, growing, intimate marriage that equips parents to lead healthy families.
About the speakers: Jeff and Cheryl Nitz bring both professional and personal experience to share as they offer insights, challenges, and encouragement to families whom God has brought together through adoption. Jeff and Cheryl both have over 25 years of professional experience in the field of adoption and foster care. Jeff is currently the Vice President of Adoption & Family Services for Bethany Christian Services. Cheryl is a therapist and the Director of the Attachment & Bonding Center of PA, specializing in working with families impacted by adoption, trauma and attachment challenges. But, Jeff and Cheryl often say their best education has come from being parents to their four kids (two of whom came to the family through adoption) and grandparents to four. Most importantly, Jeff and Cheryl are presenting as fellow sojourners—sharing with other adoptive parents the joys and challenges and lessons learned and deeply committed to fostering a fun, growing, supportive marriage in the midst of chaos!

Where Are My Green Pastures? – Stephanie Smit

If the Lord is your Shepherd, shouldn’t you be enjoying some green pastures? Perhaps you feel like your adoption journey has felt much more like the valley of the shadow of death than green pastures. Maybe He walked you through the “valley of the shadow of death” in your adoption process; but, now that you are home, you are still waiting for some “green pastures.” By adjusting our understanding of the green pastures David was writing about, we will gain a better understanding of how God provides for His people. Whether you are still waiting to complete your adoption or have been home “in the trenches” for many years, find encouragement by getting new perspective on the promises of Psalm 23.
About the speaker: Stephanie’s 18 years teaching in the classroom were easy compared to mothering three little ones at home full time. Through the process of growing her family with her husband Matt, God has revealed Himself most clearly. He not only worked a miracle in giving them their biological daughter, He continued to show Himself in mighty ways throughout their adoption journeys in China and Bhutan that were anything but normal. Through times of heartache, disappointment, and uncertainty God proved Himself to be not only the God of the end result, but the God of the right-there-with-you. In addition to being a full-time mother, Stephanie loves connecting with and encouraging other adoptive families through her work as administrator of The Sparrow Fund’s blog “We Are Grafted In.”  Stephanie also blogs at We Are Family.

Gotcha Day Link Up

You thought the day would never come.  The day when the child or children you have been praying for would officially join your family.  The waiting is in the past.  The wondering is in the past.  You have seen God’s perfect plan unfold and you couldn’t be more excited and thankful for the journey God has led you on to get you to this point.  To get you to the child that God had for your family all along.

We want to hear your gotcha day stories!  Besides loving a good cry, it’s a great opportunity for all of us to share God’s faithfulness and give Him the glory He deserves.

So, go ahead, link up.  Share your story.

Share God’s story.

Together Called {Don’t miss it}

We’re in trouble. We’ve got a lot to live up to.

Truly the best and most fulfilling getaway we have attended.

We really benefitted from the couples’ breakout time. To have an hour to sit and talk, uninterrupted with questions to challenge our conversation was like a springboard of growth and closeness in our marriage.

Absolutely the most powerful example of biblical unity and expression of the love of Christ.

Life changing, heart changing…

309260_566255240052822_1580952499_nWe were not prepared for how impactful last year’s Together Called retreat for preadoptive and adoptive couples would be. In fact, we were sorta floored by it all. 122 men and women from 14 different states, parents of 186 children, 108 of whom joined their families via adoption. Worship, fellowship, time set apart for husbands and wives to reconnect, messages of truth that pointed couples to the God who pursues them, and red carpet treatment—God used every element of Together Called to work in people’s lives.

Come to think of it…maybe we’re not in trouble after all. We trust that the One who called us together will do it again. We know He can and trust He’s already on the move.

On February 21st-23rd, 2014, adoptive parents will gather for Together Called 2014 at a posh little resort in Lancaster County, PA to hear from Beth and Stephen Templeton, faithful servants and parents of 3 biological children and 4 adopted children from Russia, as well as a handful of other speakers with expertise in navigating the challenges in adoptive families. We believe that like last year, couples will leave refreshed and encouraged with a renewed passion to serve God and the children they’ve been blessed with.

We’re already all abuzz with excitement to be a part of it. And, that’s going to get even more fun tonight when registration opens at 10pm EST. Room is limited, and we’re expecting it to fill fast. So, set an alarm on your phone for 9:50pm EST as a reminder, and warm up your typing fingers. We want you to be a part of this. I know that visiting the Philadelphia area in February was totally at the  top of your wish list anyway.

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Seasons

Even if your children aren’t school-age, you are very aware that this time of the year marks the end of summer and the beginning of school. Gone are relaxed, carefree days; in their place are routines and schedules. The change in seasons is welcomed by some and dreaded by others. Welcomed or not, this ebb and flow of changing seasons is right and good and necessary.

“For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1

The very name “We Are Grafted In” brings with it the idea of growing together, and growth happens in seasons.

What season does God have you in today?

Perhaps your season is a season of joy; celebrating all God has done. Perhaps your current season is a season of waiting; waiting for referral or that next approval to come through. Perhaps you find yourself in a season of despair; doubt and frustration your constant friends. Whatever your current season, you can be confident God is in it with you.

The time has come for a “change in seasons” here at We Are Grafted In as well. This summer we took the time to feature past posts with our {Hitting Repeat} series. We hope it gave some of you the opportunity to enjoy some posts you may have missed along the way. But, now it is time to begin sharing new posts again!

So, welcome back to a new season of WAGI. Of course we pray that the content of our posts encourages, uplifts, and even challenges you. But even more so, we hope that you can find a sense of community here — reassurance that you are not alone. To foster a sense of community, we encourage you to take the time to leave comments if you feel so led, visit the blogs of those whose posts we feature, and reach out to fellow bloggers.

Whatever your season, may you stand firm in the promise found in Ezekiel 34:26.

“I will bless my people and their homes around my holy hill.
And in the proper season I will send the showers they need.
There will be showers of blessing.”

Hello.

Have we met before? Oh, yes, yes, we have. We’re already friends. You may not recognize us with our new digs. But, it’s just us.

With all the overlap between the mission and vision of The Sparrow Fund and the We Are Grafted In blog, on top of the overlap in people involved in both, we sorta married the two.

Take some time to click around the new site. Check out who this TSF team is, what they do and why they do it. Go read about their upcoming events including Together Called 2014, the second annual retreat for couples sure to bless the stuffing out of couples and a newly announced trip in early March to serve at an orphanage in China.

The great stuff from WAGI will now complement the great stuff from TSF from this day forth.

Great stuff. So, stick around. 

Hitting repeat

You know how it is. You’ve watched every episode of 24, every second of Downton Abbey. And, then you can’t stop yourself from hitting repeat. Once you’ve finished watching, you have the bigger picture, you know where things are heading. When you go back to some of those earlier episodes, you see things in a new way and find yourself nodding your head and saying “ahhh, now I get it.”

In August, We Are Grafted In’s third season will end. With this season finale, we’re going to see a few changes around here. We are super excited to share that WAGI will be becoming the official blog of The Sparrow Fund, a nonprofit whose vision and mission aligns with our own. As we join forces, we trust that we will be able to better encourage and support adoptive families. While we may have a new address and a new look, we will still be what we have been for the last 3 seasons, a place for those with a heart for adoption to share their experiences and be challenged and encouraged.

It just seems right as we transition to hit repeat and revisit some of our favorite posts from our first three seasons. For those of you loyal readers from the start, you’ll remember some of them but will be able to read them now with newness. And, for those of you relatively new to WAGI, you’ll read some words for the first time and likely get hooked for our new season.

So, grab a cup of coffee and sit down with us every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning this summer. Can’t wait to have you join us, friends.

Share your story {joy}

It’s hard. That’s no surprise. Afterall, there’s brokenness before an adoption ever begins. And, where there is brokenness, there is pain and grief and loss and questions and heartache. In the bloggy world, we read a lot about that stuff. Perhaps when faced with the brokenness, we’re moved to write. But, here’s the thing, there’s a lot of beauty too. There’s redemption, healing, laughter, and utter joy. ‘Cause that’s what our God is about afterall—grace upon grace and redemptive stories.

Today, we’re going to take a little time out of what can be the overwhelming part of adoption to share what could be the overwhelming part of adoption—joy.

Share your link here to a post from your blog that shares the joy of adoption. Then, go share in some others’ joy. Make sure you go check out a few of the other posts here too. I have a feeling that joy is a little bit contagious.


Share Your Story {Openness}

We know. Just the word openness made some of you uncomfortable. But, here’s the thing, though not every adoption is “open” in the sense that the child knows and has some level of relationship with his or her birth family, every adoption can be open in that parents can share information and honor the birth families of their children, even if their names and identities are unknown.

And, that’s what we want to talk about today. Openness. How you do it. Why you do it. When you do it. And, maybe what God has shown you through as you’ve built a spirit of openness in your family.

Share an old post or write a new one this week and share that one. We want to hear from each other so that we can encourage each other as we do this thing God has called us to do.

A Prayer for the Oldest Orphans

This post is part of my lenten series: 40 prayers for Russia’s orphans.  Won’t you join us in lifting up some of the most vulnerable children in our world today? 

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Day 8
As we drove around Moscow going to various appointments or to visit Arie, John and I had a lot of time to talk with our facilitator and translator. She was such a wonderful woman, full of kindness and entirely capable. We asked her opinion on many things. Once, John asked her what happens to older orphans. We knew the statistics were grim (majority either turn to crime, prostitution, or suicide), but we wanted to know step-by-step what actually happened to them.

In Moscow at least, the children leave the orphanage “homes” when they are 17 or 18 years old and the government provides an apartment (to own, not just rent) and tuition for a college education. Mostly, she said, these young adults are encouraged to learn a trade.

When we heard this, our initial reaction was something like that’s actually not too bad, but then our facilitator went on: the young men and women who have spent their whole lives in an orphanage are often unable to cope with the world once they leave. They’ve had meals prepared, clothes and school supplies bought, they’ve lived in community their entire lives, and they just don’t have the skills to live alone. They become terribly lonely. The worst, she said, are holidays. When every other college student returns to Mom and Dad for New Years or summer holidays, these orphaned students have no one. Just think for a minute when you were in college or just starting out in the world. Think about how many times you called home, emailed, or visited your parents to ask for advice or just for a hot meal and come company. These young adults have no one.

Many of the young children in baby homes right now are the offspring of young men and women who grew up as orphans themselves. Having grown up without an example to follow, they simply do not know how to parent.

There are organizations that exist to help these young people not just survive but thrive. They provide mentorship, classes for life skills, and invaluable direction for those who don’t know where to turn. We should remember to pray for them, especially now.

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God who guides our every step,

Today we pray for the young men and women who have just left or are about to leave their orphanage homes. They are in deep need of your love and guidance. We pray you will provide for them in very practical ways.

Give them a safe place to live, food to eat, an education, and a way to be fulfilled in their work. We thank you that the government provides many of these things in Russia.

However, we know that it is not enough. We also pray that you will bring older and wiser people into their lives to provide wisdom and direction. We pray you will give them a community in which they experience real love. Give them a place to go for the holidays, someone to call for advice, and a loving hand to hold as they figure out how to make their way in the world.

Provide them with spiritual direction through your church. Bring them missionaries, clergy members, and believers to share your gospel truth. May they find unwavering peace and lifelong direction in your precious word.

As adoptions in Russia close, we pray that you will bless the people and organizations who help these older orphans with all that they need. Make them a blessing in their country.

We thank you for every good and perfect gift; we know they all come for you.

Be with these oldest orphans today, we pray in Jesus’ name.

Amen.

___________________________
Jillian Burden

 

Jillian Burden and her husband John welcomed their son home from
Russia in November 2012. Follow their journey to adoption and
parenting joy at www.addingaburden.com.

#SpreadtheLove

What are you doing on February 14?

Every child deserves to be accepted, to have a family, to be loved.

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:18

Join us in linking up with Marie Osborne and #SpreadtheLove this Valentine’s Day!

#SpreadtheLove is a social media campaign and blog link-up uniting bloggers, writers, parents, photographers, story tellers, friends, in honor of orphans, desperately seeking forever families.

We want to #SpreadtheLove!

JOIN US!

 

If you have a blog or website…

-Post about adoption (any adoption, past, present, future, old post or new).

 

-Please encourage PRAYER for orphans and their future families.

 

-Add your post to the #SpreadtheLove Link-up  during Valentine’s week.

Whether you have a blog or not. . .

-Tweet, FB, etc. on February 14 encouraging everyone to join #SpreadtheLove with the hashtags #spreadthelove.

 

-RSVP to #SpreadtheLove LIVE on Facebook for pictures, suggested tweets & posts to help you out.

 

Finally, enjoy reading each others adoption stories and pray for the families all day this Valentine’s Day!

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