Our boys have been home for 5 months now. That doesn
6 Replies to “There’s No Book For This”
Thanks for this. We are 17 months in and I’m finally starting to have some of the feelings I hoped to feel in the first few weeks. The books should talk more about parents having difficulty attaching. I think that was one of the biggest things I can think of that were missing in my adoption training.
Really appreciate this post. We’ve been home a year with our 4yo. Also in this past year we have added another biological child to the brood. I often wonder when I will have that ‘gush’ of love for our our little guy from China. I hold out on the fact that it’s unmistakable that God placed him in our family..he’s ours. Yes, I have found it soooo much easier to snuggle and love on and bond with our baby, as opposed to a rather “determined” preschooler. I never thought of it that way, and your post has really helped me to ease my mind, and fix my eyes back on the Word of God in this situation.
thank u thank u and amen!! This NEEDS to be discussed more so people dont drown in guilt when they dont feel it right away!
Oh my. I have thought and written these words myself. My friends and I have all said similar things–they don’t prepare you for YOU not attaching. I was amazed to find myself avoiding eye contact and not answering questions like they warned me SHE might do. There’s very little preparation for “what if I don’t attach to her?”
We have been home 16 months, and just in the past month are those feelings starting to come. Toddlers are TOUGH! We were handed a terrible-two-year-old with out that love resevoir giving us nothing to pull from to get us through those grueling first months (or year, as it was).
It is so comforting when you know that others have been right where you are. Thank you for sharing and for reinforcing that we are not alone.
Thank you, Colleen. I really needed to read this! My husband and I plan to adopt an older child internationally, and have been advised by my sister not to because she believes we would not be loving enough parents. Her words made me feel hurt. Now that I know from what you shared and the comments posted here, I can look into if there is any way we can self-train for attaching.
Colleen — more posts like this are so needed. Thanks for stepping out and saying what God led you to say. He has used you already to speak into the hearts of many.
Thanks for this. We are 17 months in and I’m finally starting to have some of the feelings I hoped to feel in the first few weeks. The books should talk more about parents having difficulty attaching. I think that was one of the biggest things I can think of that were missing in my adoption training.
Really appreciate this post. We’ve been home a year with our 4yo. Also in this past year we have added another biological child to the brood. I often wonder when I will have that ‘gush’ of love for our our little guy from China. I hold out on the fact that it’s unmistakable that God placed him in our family..he’s ours. Yes, I have found it soooo much easier to snuggle and love on and bond with our baby, as opposed to a rather “determined” preschooler. I never thought of it that way, and your post has really helped me to ease my mind, and fix my eyes back on the Word of God in this situation.
thank u thank u and amen!! This NEEDS to be discussed more so people dont drown in guilt when they dont feel it right away!
Oh my. I have thought and written these words myself. My friends and I have all said similar things–they don’t prepare you for YOU not attaching. I was amazed to find myself avoiding eye contact and not answering questions like they warned me SHE might do. There’s very little preparation for “what if I don’t attach to her?”
We have been home 16 months, and just in the past month are those feelings starting to come. Toddlers are TOUGH! We were handed a terrible-two-year-old with out that love resevoir giving us nothing to pull from to get us through those grueling first months (or year, as it was).
It is so comforting when you know that others have been right where you are. Thank you for sharing and for reinforcing that we are not alone.
Thank you, Colleen. I really needed to read this! My husband and I plan to adopt an older child internationally, and have been advised by my sister not to because she believes we would not be loving enough parents. Her words made me feel hurt. Now that I know from what you shared and the comments posted here, I can look into if there is any way we can self-train for attaching.
Colleen — more posts like this are so needed. Thanks for stepping out and saying what God led you to say. He has used you already to speak into the hearts of many.