While we were at the beach, Anthony and I took Hailee and Harper out of the water for a little break before they totally turned into raisins. We were lying in the shade giving them a snack. Haven was with us too. Anthony looked at the three kids and casually said, “So, these are the three who will more than likely stay with us forever.” I nodded yes. Perhaps they will be with us until God takes us home.
The “empty nest” question is one that tends to come up frequently. People ask us how we feel about knowing that we may never be empty nesters. I know that it is something that every family considering adopting a child who may be unable to live alone as an adult needs to think about before committing to bring them home.
For us, it is not something we think about or talk about very often these days. The topic obviously came up when we were considering bringing Haven home. We knew there would be a strong possibility that Haven would never be able to live alone, and we needed to seriously consider how we felt about that. And so we did.
These days things are different for us. The empty nest thing is not something we ever really think about. I don’t know, maybe it’s because our lives are so busy and crazy that we never have much time to sit and ponder what our future may or may not look like. Or, perhaps, it’s because God has given us such peace that an empty home is something we may possibly never have.
How do we truly feel about the possibility of never being alone without kids in the house? Well, we’re so perfectly fine with it. We believe that God calls us all differently. I will never become a lawyer or an orthodontist (heck, I really should though with the amount of money they charge to put a piece of wire in someone’s mouth!), and I would absolutely make the worst accountant ever because even my son’s fifth grade math confuses the dickens out of me. I don’t even know if God will ever call me back to working full time outside of my home. Our calling is different than others. He calls us all individually–and when He does He equips us with everything we need to accomplish the mission and gives us absolute peace on the journey. This is our mission. And, with this mission comes a future where Anthony and I may never be alone. For us, it is just part of the journey to be faithful to fulfill what God has told us to do.
Raising the children God has asked us to bring home is a calling for us. It is what the Father has told us to do in this life. We know our future is in His hands. He has taken away any desire that was once there to be empty nesters. We just don’t think about it anymore. We know that Hailee, Harper, and Haven may live with us forever, and that’s perfectly okay with us. When we’re enjoying our golden years in the RV across America, we’ll have three extra passengers, and that will make the journey even more fun.
Besides, we really believe in living each day the Lord has blessed us with to the fullest–whether we have seven kids at home or three. Will it always be easy? Heavens, no. There will probably be many times when Anthony and I will long for moments alone together. But I know my God–I know that when those times come, He will always provide a way to bless us with the desire of our hearts. He’s just so good like that.
We feel so blessed, not by earthly possessions and material wealth we have accumulated but because the Almighty Father has chosen us to be the parents of these three precious children who will more than likely need us to be with them (or near them) forever. What a joy it is going to be to share the rest of our lives with them. The thing that brings me the greatest joy in all of this is knowing that they are here with us, not in some orphanage all alone. That’s what really matters.
Who knows what our daughters’ futures are going to look like? Not us. We have no idea how their lives are going to unfold. And so, we continue to take one day at a time and allow the Lord to have His will and His way in their lives and ours.
May our nest always be full to overflowing. I’ll take it any day!
Adeye is a mom to seven children, three biological sons and four