Maybe,

during this entire adoption process
I struggled with the idea that
this was all my plan,
not God’s.

Maybe,
I often thought…

“What if we get him home and this whole thing falls apart?”

“What if my motivation is wrong?”

“What if I am blowing up God’s plan because of my wants and desires?”

Maybe,
I even thought these things
up until the night before Gotcha Day.

And what if…
maybe,
what the Holy Spirit kept whispering to me
the. whole. time.
was EXACTLY right!

I am your Good Shepherd.
And I never lead my sheep where they shouldn’t be.
And I have equipped you with MY grace,
MY abilities,
MY strength.
DO NOT BE AFRAID!

Maybe,
God knows what He is doing
and I can trust Him to lead me in the right direction.

No.
No maybe-ing this time.

I KNOW He knows what He is doing.
And I laugh now.
I laugh at all those days and nights
I struggled with whether this was right or not.

Because this is God we are talking about.
And He knows the end
from the beginning.

And that doesn’t just mean,
(affect high-pitched, cheery voice)
“Oh, my life is so easy now!!
And my children are so perfect!!!”
Squee!

Umm…No!
Come sit for a day?!?!
That is ABSOLUTELY untrue.

But what it does mean is this,when you are called,
you are equipped.
And if anybody’s power/grace/anointing
is sufficient,
God’s is.

________________________________________

Anna Lokey and her husband Shaun have been married 11 years. They have the joyful privilege of parenting four little girls. Three biological (Zoe-8, Hazel-5, Sophie-3) and the fourth, Lily (age 2), recently adopted from China. Anna is a homeschool mom trying everyday to bring up their girls in a loving, Jesus-centered home! She and her husband help lead worship at their church and serve in the children’s ministries. Anna enjoys reading, working out, and playing pretend with her girls. You can read more about them and their Anything but LoKEY life on her blog.