Dear children,
Recently we were told by people whom we love and respect why they oppose our plans to adopt. One of the reasons given was that we would not be able to pay for your college education.
It’s true.
You all have college funds – college funds which recently took a terrible hit – but “they” say that by the time you’re 18, college will cost anywhere between $200,000 to half a million dollars each. You might as well know now, we won’t be covering that. I’m telling you now, babies.
The people said that the day would come when you would look at us with resentment because you had to apply for school loans while many of your friends got a free ride from their parents.
Maybe you will. Maybe you’ll resent us. I really hope not. But maybe I should tell y’all now why your dad and I have decided to do what we are doing.
I know you’re going to think I am going off topic (I do that a lot) but several years ago I saw a story on a TV show about how the latest trend was for parents to give their daughters boob jobs for high school graduation (I don’t know what they gave their sons.) When interviewing one of the moms, she said, “I just want my daughter to be happy.” And as I tossed a throw pillow at the television, this really huge thought occurred to me:
Amen, amen, amen! We live in China and people ask us all the time, “Why don’t you give your kids whatever they want.” We always respond with “Because we love them.” This makes no sense to most people. Loved your thoughts!
Beautifully written! No boob jobs here either! 🙂
Second those “amens”! Yes! Recently my husband read me this quote: “When people’s main focus in life is happiness, most often they become very unhappy people…”
I feel like I need to say an “Amen” here! Sending my peeps over to read this!
Beautifully put!
You know, I’ve seen the “We Are Grafted In” badge on blogs but have never clicked before and honestly, now I’m kicking myself.
ALL these years I’ve been an adoptive mom and had NO clue about this site!
Glad I decided to click.
Wow! I cannot imagine that anyone could say this better. Wow!
Very wise – thanks for sharing!
This is just so awesome and so how I view life with my girls (oldest adopted from China). God gives us blessings, not mistakes.
amen, AMEN.
praying for you, visiting from joy’s xoxo
I read this when you posted it originally, and I loved reading it the second time just as much. So well said!
Thank you. After a really lousy day in which I was not happy and not making anyone else happy and was unhappy about that… she sent me here. What a great encouragement to me as a Dad about my role not being to ensure my kids’ happiness. But (ouch), also what a reminder to me as a Son of God that His role is not to ensure my happiness. Thanks for being a mom to so many more than your own. Even this 30 something Dad who needed to hear it.
Missy~
I love what you wrote. Al of that is so very true.
You have been on my mind lately after I read your blog about being so incredibly let down and depressed about the very long time it has taken in your adoption story. A dear friend of mine returned here to Texas last Thurs with 2 precious girls. http;//Reece’sRainbow.com has been establishing international adoptions which is saving precious orphans who are headed into adult mental institutions cause that’s just how they roll. These kids have NO Future.. There is also grant money to help w/ costs in many cases.. I know there are women who are yearning to loce a child and there are many with a minimal time. It took her less than a yr. Anyway.. keep up the great work.. I enjoy your blogs..
There’s also a tribute to my friends adoption at http://twohootshollar.blogspot.com under the Little Sheep Can you here me…
I really appreciated this honest post on what’s “really” important as a parent. Our society is confusing us on what we need to be focusing on in childrearing.
Thank you! This is so right on despite how counter-cultural it is. Grateful that you shared it.
I think we blew it with our kids. My son is graduating from college, not having to pay for anything. My daughter also. Now they have an entitlement mentality, have succumbed to peer pressure and living a secular life. Why did we spent all that money? They look successful to the world. There is such pressure from school and other parents about going to college.
Uh, maybe some of your kids won’t have kids. So they may never have “children of their own”. But one does not need to have kids to know what love is. One should already have that figured by the time the children arrive.
College is pretty much a crock. I never learned as much there as when I am sitting down to YouTube University. Seriously. Don’t even worry about that fake “education”. It’s still just all about who you know, not so much about merit and potential.