Hair

Hair is a big deal.

To me personally, not so much. I am a pretty low maintenance gal. But, hair in the African-American world is a huge deal. That your daughter’s hair is well groomed and well styled signifies your care for her. If you would like to be better educated in the world of African hair care and the battle between natural hair and chemically processed hair, watch the hilarious documentary called Good Hair with Chris Rock. I got quite the education watching that one!

I think since the first day I met Therese, 6 months ago, and everyday since, she has made it clear that she wants to grow her hair and get it braided. Keep in mind that her hair was shaved almost to the scalp when we met. It needed to be at least a few inches long so that she could get her extensions put in. Everyday, multiple times a day, for the last 8-12 weeks, I have had to ooh and ahh over just how long her hair was getting. I actually think commenting on the length of Therese’s hair is her love language!

In seeking out ways that I can become closer to my daughter and enhance our attachment, I realize that if hair is a big deal to my daughter, it better be a big deal to me.

I have gone to the the ends of the earth to make my daughter’s good hair dreams come true. There is nothing this mama won’t do and that includes going outside my comfort zone and into a downtown park to get an estimate on my daughter’s hair. Oh yeah. I had to meet a hairstylist in a park! I met the woman’s cousin at a park who recommended her to me and then I had to meet the stylist herself at another park to get the estimate. That is me, breaking down cultural barriers, people.

Well, Therese’s dream came true!

That is one happy girl!

She sat still for 3 1/2 hours getting her hair done without one complaint or tear (and it hurts!).

As her mother, I am trying to help her walk the fine line of enjoying her beauty and knowing where true beauty comes from. She was loved no less in her “before” state. On the other hand, when you look good, your true beauty can shine through a little more clearly.

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Erika Solgos

Erika has been married to Casey for 11 crazy beautiful years. Erika is mom to two 10 year olds and two 6 year olds who aren’t twins! Therese (10), newly adopted from Burkina Faso, is awaiting heart surgery. Evelea (10) willingly gave up her position as oldest child so we could add Therese to our family. Sitota (6) was adopted from Ethiopia and brings a lot of fun to the family. Carter (6) has had six heart surgeries and gave us the courage to adopt a child with a heart defect. They are astounded that as our family doubled in size, our love quadrupled. You can learn more about their family on their blog.

2 Replies to “Hair”

  1. What a great mom you are! And yes, you hit it right on the mark….hair is very important in the African American community. I am like you…pretty love maintenance…but after adopting and AA child…I had to shift my focus to the importance of hair. Am hoping to get my daughter’s hair professionally done in the future! Your daughter looks adorable! Many Blessings, Jen

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