We Look A Little Different {Summer Rewind}

We are your average, American family; dad, mom, three boys, and two dogs that are constantly causing trouble.

Except we look a weeeeeeeeee bit different.

We are actually two white folks, including one with a bunch of freckles who doesn’t tan well, plus three black boys, ranging in age from five months to 18 years old.

Ok, we’re an anomaly and we know it.  Some people think we are just plain weird. I’m okay with that.

To be honest, Brian and I really don’t care what people think of us.  The choices to form our family have quite obviously not been due to public opinion.

We didn’t plan on adding three children in one year.  We didn’t plan on adding children of all one specific race to our family.

We agreed, from the start of our marriage, that our family would include children who needed homes, stability, and love.

This year, three children entered our lives that needed just that.  They just all happen to be boys and they just happen to be black.

One through legal guardianship.  One through foster care.  One through adoption.

At this point, just one has our last name.

But don’t be mistaken, each one has our heart.

A year ago today, I wrote a post about our city and our family.  At that point, we had just welcomed our J-man into our home a few months before.

Thinking about Martin Luther King, Jr., his impact, his life, and his role in the city that we live rang especially deep in my heart last year.

Today, I can say that MLK’s words and his mission for equality bears even more weight and significance in my life.

Now, as parents of a black teenager, we have witnessed that misconception and prejudices about race are still prevalent and thriving.  The road for our boys will not be easy.

We feel a very strong burden to give them the foundation in which to navigate a world where color is often still the first thing a person sees when making a judgement on character ability.

We believe that their culture and their heritage is paramount to who they are and needs to be cultivated.

We pray that the first and foundational thing in which they identify themselves is their faith in Christ.

We envision a future for them where their relationships and community is not defined solely by their race, but instead by common values and beliefs.

We hope that one day, our son will not be feared because he is walking down the street in a grey hoodie and jeans.

We pray daily that our boys will become Godly men of integrity and honor, who do not believe anything is owed to them, but instead stand and fight for justice of those around them who cannot.

‎Brian and I know that the choices we have made to form our family won’t be accepted by everyone.

We know that we don’t have all the answers on how to raise our boys.

We are quite aware that we will make many mistakes along the way.

But we are very sure that the three boys placed in our home this past year are here because they belong in OUR FAMILY. Not just anywhere, but here, with us and our two crazy dogs.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.”
– Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

We have faith that though we don’t know what the road with our boys looks like ahead, we are a family formed with a purpose.  And we are going to move forward and figure this out this crazy life together.

________________________________

Leslie Word
Leslie Word

 Leslie and her husband, Brian, live in Montgomery, Alabama where he is a youth pastor and she coordinates ONEfamily, an orphan care ministry. She’s a mom to five boys, some with two legs and some with four legs. All of them are amazing and usually stinky. Leslie enjoys quiet places, watching SEC football, and drinking an entire cup of coffee –  none of which happen on a regular basis. She blogs about life with her boys over www.waitingonaword.blogspot.com   

 

We Look a Little Different

We are your average, American family; dad, mom, three boys, and two dogs that are constantly causing trouble.

Except we look a weeeeeeeeee bit different.

We are actually two white folks, including one with a bunch of freckles who doesn’t tan well, plus three black boys, ranging in age from five months to 18 years old.

Ok, we’re an anomaly and we know it.  Some people think we are just plain weird. I’m okay with that.

To be honest, Brian and I really don’t care what people think of us.  The choices to form our family have quite obviously not been due to public opinion.

We didn’t plan on adding three children in one year.  We didn’t plan on adding children of all one specific race to our family.

We agreed, from the start of our marriage, that our family would include children who needed homes, stability, and love.

This year, three children entered our lives that needed just that.  They just all happen to be boys and they just happen to be black.

One through legal guardianship.  One through foster care.  One through adoption.

At this point, just one has our last name.

But don’t be mistaken, each one has our heart.

A year ago today, I wrote a post about our city and our family.  At that point, we had just welcomed our J-man into our home a few months before.

Thinking about Martin Luther King, Jr., his impact, his life, and his role in the city that we live rang especially deep in my heart last year.

Today, I can say that MLK’s words and his mission for equality bears even more weight and significance in my life.

Now, as parents of a black teenager, we have witnessed that misconception and prejudices about race are still prevalent and thriving.  The road for our boys will not be easy.

We feel a very strong burden to give them the foundation in which to navigate a world where color is often still the first thing a person sees when making a judgement on character ability.

We believe that their culture and their heritage is paramount to who they are and needs to be cultivated.

We pray that the first and foundational thing in which they identify themselves is their faith in Christ.

We envision a future for them where their relationships and community is not defined solely by their race, but instead by common values and beliefs.

We hope that one day, our son will not be feared because he is walking down the street in a grey hoodie and jeans.

We pray daily that our boys will become Godly men of integrity and honor, who do not believe anything is owed to them, but instead stand and fight for justice of those around them who cannot.

‎Brian and I know that the choices we have made to form our family won’t be accepted by everyone.

We know that we don’t have all the answers on how to raise our boys.

We are quite aware that we will make many mistakes along the way.

But we are very sure that the three boys placed in our home this past year are here because they belong in OUR FAMILY. Not just anywhere, but here, with us and our two crazy dogs.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.”
– Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

We have faith that though we don’t know what the road with our boys looks like ahead, we are a family formed with a purpose.  And we are going to move forward and figure this out this crazy life together.

________________________________

Leslie Word
Leslie Word

 Leslie and her husband, Brian, live in Montgomery, Alabama where he is a youth pastor and she coordinates ONEfamily, an orphan care ministry. She’s a mom to five boys, some with two legs and some with four legs. All of them are amazing and usually stinky. Leslie enjoys quiet places, watching SEC football, and drinking an entire cup of coffee –  none of which happen on a regular basis. She blogs about life with her boys over www.waitingonaword.blogspot.com   

 

{Hitting Repeat} Meeting Her.

Last month, before leaving for the DRC,  I wrote about what was weighing heavy on my heart – the day I would take my son from the arms of his foster mother.

Every time I talked about it with someone, I was in tears.  Every time I thought about it, I was tears.

As a foster mom of a son that I have loved since the minute he was placed in my hands at two weeks old, my heart was filled with gratitude for this woman whom I would soon meet.

The days leading up to our meeting were filled with nervous trepidation, as I knew that I would never be able to voice to her just how much I understood her role in our son’s life.

Because of our baby J, I know what it means to love a little one who is not promised to you.

I know what it is to be up at all hours of the night, rocking, cradling, and snuggling a child that I did not birth and whose sweet little toes I may never get to see fill the shoes of a grown man.

I know what it means to pour everything you have into a child that may never thank you, and in fact, never remember you.

There was so much I wanted to say to her, my Tyson’s Mama Isabelle.

As I walked out to meet her and my baby boy, the tears were flowing.

She greeted me with a huge smile and I hugged her as tight as I could.

She spoke no English and I spoke no French.

Through our lawyer, who spoke minimal English, I shared with her everything I could muster in the shortest and most succinct amount of words.

“You have loved him so very well.  Thank you.”

It wasn’t enough.  But nothing I said would have been.  Nothing could have conveyed how full my heart was at that moment.

As I held our smiling, cuddly son, with chunky thighs and full cheeks, it was quite evident that Tyson had been well-fed, held tightly, and cuddled often.

And believe me, I fully realize that this is not always the case in international adoption.

Because of Mama Isabelle, our Tyson bonded quickly to us.  He craves snuggles, makes great eye contact, and smiles and smiles and smiles and smiles.

It’s been three weeks since I met my son.  Three weeks since I took him out of the arms of his Mama Isabelle.

When I talk about it or think about it, it still brings me to tears.

But it isn’t out of sadness.

It’s out of a heart that overflows with emotion for the gift of a son who now carries my last name.

It’s from a heart filled with thankfulness for the selfless love of a foster mom caring for our baby 4,000 miles away.

It’s because of a heart bursting with love for my own foster son who is a miracle and gift that I one day may have to return.

I can’t guarantee the tears will stop anytime soon, because they are filled with gratitude and awe at this life we’ve been given.

Thank you, Mama Isabelle. You were an answer to five months of prayer for our son and a tender reminder to me of my call as a foster mom.

________________________________________

Leslie Word

Leslie has been married to her husband Brian for almost three years. They live in Montgomery, Alabama where Leslie works for a nonprofit agency and Brian is a student pastor. They are passionate about caring for the orphan and have helped start ONEfamily, an adoption, foster care, and orphan care ministry in their church. Their free time is made up of watching football, eating Mexican food, and spending time with their rambunctious puppy, Knox. They have chosen to adopt first and are currently fostering a little guy and just returned from the Democratic Republic of Congo with their son. You can read more about their adventures here.

{Hitting Repeat} Tension

We’re experiencing the tension of being foster parents.

Our foster baby’s mom has come into the picture for the first time since he was born. He’ll start to have regular visits with her next week.

There is much tension in my heart as I want the woman who birthed him to know how much we love him and how we have done everything we can to protect and nurture him.

And, I want her to know that SHE is loved, because I know this life hasn’t been easy for her. She’s where she is in life because of some things that aren’t her fault.

And, I want her to know I’m not the enemy. That I want the best for him. Whatever and wherever that may be.

I want redemption for her: restoration for her body, her spirit, and her life.

But, I love this sweet baby boy who currently lives in our home. As all this has played out this past week, I’ve wanted to grab him and hold him and not let go.

And, I want to make her earn the right to see him because she’s left him for the last three months.

I want to grab her face in my hands and say, “Don’t you know what you’ve missed? Was it worth it?”

But, I realize that she has given me a gift for the past three months. And her gift is the result of a life that has been littered with heartache and devastation.

And there is the tension.

We need loads and loads of prayer as we navigate these new waters.

________________________________________

Leslie Word

Leslie and her husband Brian are passionate about caring for the orphan and have helped start ONEfamily, an adoption, foster care, and orphan care ministry in their church. In thirteen months, they went from a family of three {Husband, Wife and dog} to a family of 7 {Husband, Wife, 3 boys and 2 dogs} by becoming legal guardians, foster parents and adoptive parents.  You can read more about their adventures here.

Meeting her.

Last month, before leaving for the DRC,  I wrote about what was weighing heavy on my heart – the day I would take my son from the arms of his foster mother.

Every time I talked about it with someone, I was in tears.  Every time I thought about it, I was tears.

As a foster mom of a son that I have loved since the minute he was placed in my hands at two weeks old, my heart was filled with gratitude for this woman whom I would soon meet.

The days leading up to our meeting were filled with nervous trepidation, as I knew that I would never be able to voice to her just how much I understood her role in our son’s life.

Because of our baby J, I know what it means to love a little one who is not promised to you.

I know what it is to be up at all hours of the night, rocking, cradling, and snuggling a child that I did not birth and whose sweet little toes I may never get to see fill the shoes of a grown man.

I know what it means to pour everything you have into a child that may never thank you, and in fact, never remember you.

There was so much I wanted to say to her, my Tyson’s Mama Isabelle.

As I walked out to meet her and my baby boy, the tears were flowing.

She greeted me with a huge smile and I hugged her as tight as I could.

She spoke no English and I spoke no French.

Through our lawyer, who spoke minimal English, I shared with her everything I could muster in the shortest and most succinct amount of words.

“You have loved him so very well.  Thank you.”

It wasn’t enough.  But nothing I said would have been.  Nothing could have conveyed how full my heart was at that moment.

As I held our smiling, cuddly son, with chunky thighs and full cheeks, it was quite evident that Tyson had been well-fed, held tightly, and cuddled often.

And believe me, I fully realize that this is not always the case in international adoption.

Because of Mama Isabelle, our Tyson bonded quickly to us.  He craves snuggles, makes great eye contact, and smiles and smiles and smiles and smiles.

It’s been three weeks since I met my son.  Three weeks since I took him out of the arms of his Mama Isabelle.

When I talk about it or think about it, it still brings me to tears.

But it isn’t out of sadness.

It’s out of a heart that overflows with emotion for the gift of a son who now carries my last name.

It’s from a heart filled with thankfulness for the selfless love of a foster mom caring for our baby 4,000 miles away.

It’s because of a heart bursting with love for my own foster son who is a miracle and gift that I one day may have to return.

I can’t guarantee the tears will stop anytime soon, because they are filled with gratitude and awe at this life we’ve been given.

Thank you, Mama Isabelle. You were an answer to five months of prayer for our son and a tender reminder to me of my call as a foster mom.

________________________________________

Leslie Word

Leslie has been married to her husband Brian for almost three years. They live in Montgomery, Alabama where Leslie works for a nonprofit agency and Brian is a student pastor. They are passionate about caring for the orphan and have helped start ONEfamily, an adoption, foster care, and orphan care ministry in their church. Their free time is made up of watching football, eating Mexican food, and spending time with their rambunctious puppy, Knox. They have chosen to adopt first and are currently fostering a little guy and just returned from the Democratic Republic of Congo with their son. You can read more about their adventures here.

Tension

We’re experiencing the tension of being foster parents.

Our foster baby’s mom has come into the picture for the first time since he was born. He’ll start to have regular visits with her next week.

There is much tension in my heart as I want the woman who birthed him to know how much we love him and how we have done everything we can to protect and nurture him.

And, I want her to know that SHE is loved, because I know this life hasn’t been easy for her. She’s where she is in life because of some things that aren’t her fault.

And, I want her to know I’m not the enemy. That I want the best for him. Whatever and wherever that may be.

I want redemption for her: restoration for her body, her spirit, and her life.

But, I love this sweet baby boy who currently lives in our home. As all this has played out this past week, I’ve wanted to grab him and hold him and not let go.

And, I want to make her earn the right to see him because she’s left him for the last three months.

I want to grab her face in my hands and say, “Don’t you know what you’ve missed? Was it worth it?”

But, I realize that she has given me a gift for the past three months. And her gift is the result of a life that has been littered with heartache and devastation.

And there is the tension.

We need loads and loads of prayer as we navigate these new waters.

________________________________________

Leslie Word

Leslie has been married to her husband Brian for a little over 2 years. They live in Montgomery, Alabama where Leslie works for a nonprofit agency and Brian is a student pastor. They are passionate about caring for the orphan and have helped start ONEfamily, an adoption, foster care, and orphan care ministry in their church. Their free time is made up of watching football, eating Mexican food, and spending time with their rambunctious puppy, Knox. They have chosen to adopt first and are currently fostering a little guy and awaiting a referral of one or two children from the Democratic Republic of Congo. You can read more about their adventures here.

Plan A

Adoption is not Plan B.

Not for us.

We have never looked at it this way, but in conversations with quite a few well-intentioned folks, I realize that the general population often views it that way.

“You know you’ll get pregnant as soon as you finish your adoption.”

“I know a lot of people ‘your age’ who are looking toward adoption because they can’t get pregnant.”

“Do you want to have your own children?”

I’ve learned that adoption is often viewed by many (on the outside looking in) as the consolation prize. Plan A didn’t work. So you’re settling for what is available.

I disagree and so would all the other adoptive parents I’ve ever met.

There is no Plan B.

The journey to adoption is NOT a surprise to God. He’s wasn’t caught off guard by the reasons or the path. For some it’s infertility or health reasons. For others it is how God calls them to add to their family.

For us, it’s because God is made it ABUNDANTLY clear that we are to adopt. Now.

Many people assume because we are adopting first that biological children are not an option for us. At this point, we have not heard otherwise, so we hope to welcome a freckled, type-A, northern/southern hybrid into our lives one day.

But whatever happens, it will be Plan A.

We are adopting now because there is a need, and we have a call. In the DRC alone, there are 5 million orphaned children.

We could not get that figure out of our minds and hearts. There was no reason good enough to hold off on adopting until we had biological children. We couldn’t stop talking about adoption. We needed to start the process.

We know it doesn’t make sense to most of the world. God made it clear, so we’re just following.

Any child brought into our home, biological or adopted, will be real and be our own. We pray that others will come to understand that as well, but we also know that we have the privilege of telling the story of redemption and grace each time someone questions our family dynamic.

The story of Plan A for our family.

________________________________________

Leslie Word

Leslie has been married to her husband Brian for a little over 2 years. They live in Montgomery, Alabama where Leslie works for a nonprofit agency and Brian is a student pastor. They are passionate about caring for the orphan and have helped start ONEfamily, an adoption, foster care, and orphan care ministry in their church. Their free time is made up of watching football, eating Mexican food, and spending time with their rambunctious puppy, Knox. They have chosen to adopt first and are currently awaiting a referral of one or two children from the Democratic Republic of Congo. You can read more about their adventures here.
________________________________________

Get ready.

As part of celebrating one year of WAGI, this next week will feature encore postings from a few of the most popular posts from WAGI to date. Whether you are new around here or have been reading since August of last year, you won’t want to miss these.

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